Back when I was a young man, someone told me about this practice called stumping. “Hey,” he said with a conspiratorial smirk, "have ya ever heard about stumpin?” I hadn’t, so he told me about it. See, there was a certain 1% outlaw biker gang in our neck of the woods, and they would do … Continue reading Stumping
On Syntax, Spelling, and Punctuation
Okay, here’s the deal kids: If you don’t make at least some effort to follow the conventional rules of English, I don’t bother reading anything you write. This is not because I am some kind of “grammar nazi,” or am being petty on some principle. It is because I value my time too highly. If … Continue reading On Syntax, Spelling, and Punctuation
Soiree
“Do make sure to try the canapé,” the host says to me before leaving.I am profoundly relieved that he is gone.Alone, I make way way through the party; room by room. The beautiful guests in their formal evening wear swim in my vision like watercolors in the rain, but the rooms and their furnishings are … Continue reading Soiree
Character Concept
Name: Chad “River” WakefieldAge: 26Race: CaucasianNationality: American (”I really consider myself a citizen of the world.” #blessed)Occupation: monetized positivity on social media; trust fund recipientPassions (not hobbies): dreadlocks and beard maintenance; “living life to the fullest;” helping attractive people with their body positivity; oral sex; cultural appropriation; drugs (“consciousness expansion, please!”)Catch Phrase: “It’s all about … Continue reading Character Concept
A Visit With Nancy and Endi
I was recently watching sumo with my Canadian friend, Nancy, and her Japanese cop husband, Endi, at their place. They’re in their sixties and have just built their retirement home on Endi's family property to replace the house that was bust up in the big earthquake.Nancy's from Nova Scotia and is one of those lapsed … Continue reading A Visit With Nancy and Endi
Shitshow
This last two years has been like watching someone go into a beautiful, pristine bathroom, sit down on the closed toilet seat cover with their pants on, and then proceed to shit themselves.
I think I'm going to start saying that things are "problemsome" or "troublematic" because I think the older, well-established compound words have gotten too sure of their position in the English language.
Truth and Reconciliation
A few years ago, one of my Canadian friends here in Japan gave me a compilation CD of kids’ songs she had got from a discount bin in a store in Canada. It was a three CD set that had older recordings of many classic kids’ songs and sing-along standards. I was charmed that it … Continue reading Truth and Reconciliation
Freedom
It seems to me that most of the whinging about freedom of choice isn't about any real impingement of freedom. People have the freedom not to get vaccinated. What they are whining about is being criticized and stigmatized for their selfish use of their freedom. You are free to do what you want. And I'm … Continue reading Freedom
Quality Programming
Tonight on Aging Sluts:A bar slut no more; sluttiness after sobriety. We discuss how to keep those numbers up without the crutch of alcohol. (One word: yoga!)
Muse Vassal 