Tonight on Aging Sluts:Making the most of incontinence through fetish play.
Author: musevassal
White People’s Gift
Tonight in one of my English conversation classes (here in Japan), we were discussing eating habits and weight gain. One of my students proclaimed that it’s okay to get fat; especially for white people. “Most white people look Doraemon shape,” she said. (Doraemon pictured below for reference.) “But,” she went on, “it’s okay. It’s a … Continue reading White People’s Gift
Superpower
by Balls Malone If I could have one superpower it would be to be able to transcend space and time to have three-ways with Queen Elizabeth II and Betty White in 1945. More specifically, that all three of us rendezvous in a suitably groovy trans-dimensional place, with them being their respective ages from that year. … Continue reading Superpower
Quality Programming
Tonight on Aging Sluts: Michael Douglas talks about getting throat cancer from eating pussy.
Research
Anytime someone you’re talking to starts mentioning their “research,” beware. Best case scenario is, they are some kind of university troglodyte that somehow hasn’t learned that their life’s work isn’t something other people want to hear about. This is just awkward and dull. So not unlike many conversations, really. More often that not, however, it’s … Continue reading Research
Poser Monotheists
Always keep in mind that, all their shit-talking about being monotheists aside, Catholics are polytheistic; with all their praying to God, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and the Virgin Mary, and the various patron saints of getting diddled by priests.
Proof of Difference
“I need you to prove to me that you're not like all the others,” she said, staring deeply into his eyes. He thought about it for a while and then he did. He walked away from her and never once looked back.
Write By Numbers
(1) (2) , (2) (1) ! 1 = "fuck"2 = "you"
Frodo’s Other Ring (Sam’s Anus)
I was once chastised for homophobia after referring to the Lord of the Rings as pretty damn gay. My accuser understandably misunderstood my meaning. Contrary to the usual intention behind the term's use, whenever I refer to something as gay, I mean it literally and never as a bad thing. Lord of the Rings is … Continue reading Frodo’s Other Ring (Sam’s Anus)
Women’s Better Living Through Chemistry
Hey ladies! Did you know that so many of your marital woes can be solved by a daily application of any over the counter douche? It's true! But it's not like you think.You see, back in day some intrepid female chemists working for a major chemical company came up with an ingenious solution for the … Continue reading Women’s Better Living Through Chemistry
Muse Vassal 