Author: musevassal

Babies of all Ages

One fun thing about babies is that all of their babbling and nonsense is entirely purposeful. They believe wholeheartedly that they have something important to say and are expressing it clearly; that the remote control truly belongs in the trash. They have important work to do.Sadly, people rarely lose this perception of themselves, although some … Continue reading Babies of all Ages →

my seed

(Alternative Title: If I Treated My Semen Like Some Women Do Their Menses) my seed is the fecund stuff of humanityfrom such, all are bornmy jizz is acorn filled bountyto be ploughed into fertile earthI am host to a divine hostsquiggly wriggly miracleseach carrying my ancestors entireI squirt the universe out of my dickor, wait...like … Continue reading my seed →

Random Historical Thought

The Allies did not win World War II. Now, before you get all cunty about that, take a second and think. Sure they fought the motherfucker and beat the Axis. The Allies had the victory without a doubt. But at what cost? They didn’t win shit. You know who won? Switzerland. The Swiss got the … Continue reading Random Historical Thought →

On Fucking, Animals or Otherwise

By Balls Malone I would like to clarify that when I talk about fucking animals, it is a purely hypothetical scenario I'm envisioning. It's a campfire chitchat goof, like “what superpower would you like to have?” (you know mine), or “if you could only kill one Backstreet Boys member with an icepick, which one would … Continue reading On Fucking, Animals or Otherwise →

Inverse-Dysmorphia and North Americans

My post last week about my Japanese student's observation that most white people are the shape of Doraemon, the Japanese Garfield, got me thinking about something I noticed a while back while I was visiting my original home of Canada.As someone who’s lived in Japan for over ten years now, I’ve found that most North … Continue reading Inverse-Dysmorphia and North Americans →

Education

Me, reading or watching educational content: “Huh, that’s interesting” or “Hmm, that seems fishy, I should check that out.” Inevitable comment on the content: “WHY THE FUCK WASN’T I MADE AWARE OF THIS IN SCHOOL?!!!" For fuck sakes, get a grip, youngster. While I have no doubt that your education system has failed you, it … Continue reading Education →