Working in a 24 hour gas station/automotive shop in a meth/crack neighborhood of a big, stabby, Albertan city taught me many things. Street smarts, how to stand up to bullies, and sketchy-as-fuck junkie management. All very useful skills. Mostly it taught me that all those stories in Penthouse Letters are very possibly true. All very … Continue reading Memories
Category: Uncategorized
Fantasy Hookers
Okay, what is the deal with massage parlor/rub and tug videos in the porn these days? This is both interesting and depressing to me. I'm all for the gonzo thing, since the pretense and pretension of harnessing porno with a plot always bothered me. But now we've got people fantasizing for sexy prostitution? Really? There's … Continue reading Fantasy Hookers
Germans
My mom is German. She was born in Germany and then my grandparents immigrated to Canada in the fifties with three kids (would have two more in Canada). When my mom was a teenager, my grandfather would force the family to watch Monty Python’s Flying Circus with him. But it wasn’t because he enjoyed it, … Continue reading Germans
The American Apocalypse and You
I can't help but be amused when I see Americans describing the doomsday scenarios they see coming coming down the pike at them. Basically, so many of them just describe conditions that many people around the world are already living in.“The stores will be empty, the power will go out, and there won't be any … Continue reading The American Apocalypse and You
Goaded by Youngster
I just had an exchange that got my dander up and have decided to deal with it here. Consider me goaded.Someone I follow posted a screenshot of some teenage drama they are engaging in. In it, she and her friend were trashing someone they're beefing with. The poster added a note to the picture in … Continue reading Goaded by Youngster
Stumping
Back when I was a young man, someone told me about this practice called stumping. “Hey,” he said with a conspiratorial smirk, "have ya ever heard about stumpin?” I hadn’t, so he told me about it. See, there was a certain 1% outlaw biker gang in our neck of the woods, and they would do … Continue reading Stumping
Soiree
“Do make sure to try the canapé,” the host says to me before leaving.I am profoundly relieved that he is gone.Alone, I make way way through the party; room by room. The beautiful guests in their formal evening wear swim in my vision like watercolors in the rain, but the rooms and their furnishings are … Continue reading Soiree
Character Concept
Name: Chad “River” WakefieldAge: 26Race: CaucasianNationality: American (”I really consider myself a citizen of the world.” #blessed)Occupation: monetized positivity on social media; trust fund recipientPassions (not hobbies): dreadlocks and beard maintenance; “living life to the fullest;” helping attractive people with their body positivity; oral sex; cultural appropriation; drugs (“consciousness expansion, please!”)Catch Phrase: “It’s all about … Continue reading Character Concept
Shitshow
This last two years has been like watching someone go into a beautiful, pristine bathroom, sit down on the closed toilet seat cover with their pants on, and then proceed to shit themselves.
I think I'm going to start saying that things are "problemsome" or "troublematic" because I think the older, well-established compound words have gotten too sure of their position in the English language.
Muse Vassal 