Author: musevassal

Yum Yum

I have an inner disco daddy. His name is Yum Yum. Yum Yum gets down in the club with grooves so funky that people get high just from breathing near him. Who's the cool cat that all the young gay boys want to get penetrated by? Yum Yum! Behold Yum Yum, striding long, his plush … Continue reading Yum Yum →

Companion

Do you remember when you were little, there was that place you were afraid of? A crawlspace in your house, or under the basement stairs. Or perhaps in the back yard or the woods nearby; a little nook under some bushes that only a child could reach. You were afraid of that place, and you … Continue reading Companion →

Temporal Onanism

It is depressing to me that I have yet to be visited and given a blowjob by my future self. This means one of two things: either time travel does not get invented in my lifetime, or future me is a selfish asshole. The act of giving oral sex is very much like other gift … Continue reading Temporal Onanism →

Asshole

When you find yourself saying that people need to get a sense of humor, or are too easily offended these days, you are probably an asshole. This doesn’t mean you’re wrong: they probably are easily offended and do need to get a sense of humor. And you’re an asshole. These are not mutually exclusive. It’s … Continue reading Asshole →

Millennials are Garbage

So, millennials, huh? What went wrong there? And golly, Enid, those flappers sure were a real menace, what with their reefer and jazz music and sex in motorcars. And then with the beatniks! And don't get me started on those dirty hippies! Punks! The world is going to hell in a handbasket! Hmmm, now that … Continue reading Millennials are Garbage →

eyes on the train

On the train stopped at a station I turn back Twisting to see who has joined us Eye contact POP Your eyes exactly where mine first focus Beauty Your eyes locked right in on mine too Like we each knew Where the other would be Connecting too fast to be guarded to raise up a … Continue reading eyes on the train →

The Story of Big Bob

by Balls Malone Big Bob had the silkiest anus in the village. It was big too. Like a bisected grapefruit. There might have been bigger anuses around, but none were so silky as Bob's. That was something everyone could agree upon. Big, red, and silky; that was Bob. Bob didn't rest on his laurels, though. … Continue reading The Story of Big Bob →

Internet Quiz

Hey guys! I've been seeing these numbered quizzes floating around online for a while where people reblog and answer some of them, or ask the poster to answer certain numbers, or some shit. So, I thought I'd write one of my own to fit in with what the youngsters are doing with themselves these days. … Continue reading Internet Quiz →