Author: musevassal

The Story of Big Bob

by Balls Malone Big Bob had the silkiest anus in the village. It was big too. Like a bisected grapefruit. There might have been bigger anuses around, but none were so silky as Bob's. That was something everyone could agree upon. Big, red, and silky; that was Bob. Bob didn't rest on his laurels, though. … Continue reading The Story of Big Bob →

Internet Quiz

Hey guys! I've been seeing these numbered quizzes floating around online for a while where people reblog and answer some of them, or ask the poster to answer certain numbers, or some shit. So, I thought I'd write one of my own to fit in with what the youngsters are doing with themselves these days. … Continue reading Internet Quiz →

Marley’s Discovery of Imagination

When I was eighteen, fresh out of high school in 1994, I got a job working at a full-service gas station and automotive shop. Overall, it was a great job for a young man and the lessons I learned there (up to, and including, how to potentially get away with murder) have generally served me … Continue reading Marley’s Discovery of Imagination →

Explaining Hip Hop to White People

I came to enjoy hip hop rather late. Before I did, I admit I had all the typical complaints I tend to hear from white people about it. So I can certainly understand why many people can't get into it. As with any art form, it all comes down to a matter of taste. I … Continue reading Explaining Hip Hop to White People →

Character

Character is what you crave because authenticity is what you lack. Character can only be developed through the slow grind of real life; being put to the test and succeeding or failing on one’s own merits. It is not to be found in sterile confines of a safe shoebox life. It is bodily fluids on … Continue reading Character →

Body Rapping With Aiden

When I was about eight or nine years old I befriended Aiden, a small kid a year younger than me who lived nearby. Aiden was an only child with a single mom, and I guess he had things pretty rough. His mom was always working, so Aiden was by himself a lot. However, the big … Continue reading Body Rapping With Aiden →

Cunt

Back in the day, I worked as a pump jockey in a 24 hour full-service gas station. I worked with a pair of brothers who lived together for years in an odd and vaguely incestuous way. I became pretty close friends with the younger of the two, Travis. Eventually, the elder of the two, Marley, … Continue reading Cunt →

Natural

Baby birds fall out of their nests to be devoured alive by ants. Wildfires vital to forests' health burn up all the critters, cute or not. Look at nature, really see it and what it does, and realize there is nothing in the universe that entitles you to anything beyond sure death. Many think that … Continue reading Natural →