“I need you to prove to me that you're not like all the others,” she said, staring deeply into his eyes. He thought about it for a while and then he did. He walked away from her and never once looked back.
Author: musevassal
Write By Numbers
(1) (2) , (2) (1) ! 1 = "fuck"2 = "you"
Frodo’s Other Ring (Sam’s Anus)
I was once chastised for homophobia after referring to the Lord of the Rings as pretty damn gay. My accuser understandably misunderstood my meaning. Contrary to the usual intention behind the term's use, whenever I refer to something as gay, I mean it literally and never as a bad thing. Lord of the Rings is … Continue reading Frodo’s Other Ring (Sam’s Anus)
Women’s Better Living Through Chemistry
Hey ladies! Did you know that so many of your marital woes can be solved by a daily application of any over the counter douche? It's true! But it's not like you think.You see, back in day some intrepid female chemists working for a major chemical company came up with an ingenious solution for the … Continue reading Women’s Better Living Through Chemistry
Be My Valentine
(The following is a rant I wrote years ago that I happened to stumble on today. It being Valentine's Day, I thought I may as well polish it up and then post it. Now, please keep in mind that I haven't lived in North America for many years, so my thoughts on this holiday may … Continue reading Be My Valentine
Customer Dissatisfaction
I know it's fun to complain and avoid taking responsibility for your decisions, but maybe some people could think about changing up their romantic selection process. You don't always have to shop in the “Whores” and “Assholes” section. (“Yeah, but, Whores and Assholes is the only place that has the styles I need.”)It's like a … Continue reading Customer Dissatisfaction
Explaining Cheese to Leafy Greenbuds
Imagine trying to explain cheese to your new pall, Leafy Greenbuds, a space alien who has no concept of food because her folk derive their nutrition through photosynthesis. You show Leafy a cow, and then explain the milk thing (a la Arthur Dent with the Nutri-Matic on the Heart of Gold [if you don’t get … Continue reading Explaining Cheese to Leafy Greenbuds
The worst part of waking up with a corpse and a hangover is forever wondering if they died before or after you fucked them.Balls Malone
My Return to Japan
When I was in my late twenties I moved to Japan to teach English for two years. When I returned to Canada, I struck up a correspondence with a Japanese woman I had worked with at my school. She came to visit me for a few weeks and one thing led to another, as they … Continue reading My Return to Japan
intersections
A fork in the road. Which way to go?Of course loyalty is in play. Principles. Ideals.It is not so very difficult to stay true when the only choice is to adhere to, or to betray, your values.But what of conflicting loyalties?What of different principles that run to cross purposes?When at these intersections of life, what … Continue reading intersections
Muse Vassal 