Explaining Cheese to Leafy Greenbuds

Imagine trying to explain cheese to your new pall, Leafy Greenbuds, a space alien who has no concept of food because her folk derive their nutrition through photosynthesis. You show Leafy a cow, and then explain the milk thing (a la Arthur Dent with the Nutri-Matic on the Heart of Gold [if you don’t get this reference: Shame on you!]), then bacterial cultures, aging, and whatever else.

Leafy’s utter mortification is palpable. She can’t understand that cheese is the pinnacle of human civilization.

Yeah, Leafy, if you think about it too carefully it is really gross. But what do you want from us? We can’t just suck on dirt and photosynthesise our nutrition. And do remember that we’re a species that also licks each other’s genitals for fun. It’s not like your little inter-species orgies with the insect folk aren’t pretty weird by our standards.

As an aside, while you’re here, be careful that someone here on earth doesn’t try to smoke you. We do that too.

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