My mom is German. She was born in Germany and then my grandparents immigrated to Canada in the fifties with three kids (would have two more in Canada). When my mom was a teenager, my grandfather would force the family to watch Monty Python’s Flying Circus with him. But it wasn’t because he enjoyed it, … Continue reading Germans
Author: musevassal
The American Apocalypse and You
I can't help but be amused when I see Americans describing the doomsday scenarios they see coming coming down the pike at them. Basically, so many of them just describe conditions that many people around the world are already living in.“The stores will be empty, the power will go out, and there won't be any … Continue reading The American Apocalypse and You
Goaded by Youngster
I just had an exchange that got my dander up and have decided to deal with it here. Consider me goaded.Someone I follow posted a screenshot of some teenage drama they are engaging in. In it, she and her friend were trashing someone they're beefing with. The poster added a note to the picture in … Continue reading Goaded by Youngster
Stumping
Back when I was a young man, someone told me about this practice called stumping. “Hey,” he said with a conspiratorial smirk, "have ya ever heard about stumpin?” I hadn’t, so he told me about it. See, there was a certain 1% outlaw biker gang in our neck of the woods, and they would do … Continue reading Stumping
On Syntax, Spelling, and Punctuation
Okay, here’s the deal kids: If you don’t make at least some effort to follow the conventional rules of English, I don’t bother reading anything you write. This is not because I am some kind of “grammar nazi,” or am being petty on some principle. It is because I value my time too highly. If … Continue reading On Syntax, Spelling, and Punctuation
Soiree
“Do make sure to try the canapé,” the host says to me before leaving.I am profoundly relieved that he is gone.Alone, I make way way through the party; room by room. The beautiful guests in their formal evening wear swim in my vision like watercolors in the rain, but the rooms and their furnishings are … Continue reading Soiree
Character Concept
Name: Chad “River” WakefieldAge: 26Race: CaucasianNationality: American (”I really consider myself a citizen of the world.” #blessed)Occupation: monetized positivity on social media; trust fund recipientPassions (not hobbies): dreadlocks and beard maintenance; “living life to the fullest;” helping attractive people with their body positivity; oral sex; cultural appropriation; drugs (“consciousness expansion, please!”)Catch Phrase: “It’s all about … Continue reading Character Concept
A Visit With Nancy and Endi
I was recently watching sumo with my Canadian friend, Nancy, and her Japanese cop husband, Endi, at their place. They’re in their sixties and have just built their retirement home on Endi's family property to replace the house that was bust up in the big earthquake.Nancy's from Nova Scotia and is one of those lapsed … Continue reading A Visit With Nancy and Endi
Shitshow
This last two years has been like watching someone go into a beautiful, pristine bathroom, sit down on the closed toilet seat cover with their pants on, and then proceed to shit themselves.
I think I'm going to start saying that things are "problemsome" or "troublematic" because I think the older, well-established compound words have gotten too sure of their position in the English language.
Muse Vassal 