I sometimes reflect on my life and wonder: at what point did I stop living abroad? It’s not as dumb a question as you might think. I am, and have consistently been, aware of what country I live in. The question concerns my perceptions of where I live in relation to where I am from. … Continue reading Abroad
Author: musevassal
On Japanese Wives
First of all: shame on all of you who read the title of this piece in a dirty-minded, lascivious way! Shame! Now, if we can get our mind (at least slightly) out of the gutter. There are those who think Japanese women are demure, passive, and subservient. As a husband to a Japanese wife, I … Continue reading On Japanese Wives
Move
This here's a bit of a shout at any youngsters who have the privilege of living in a free country that isn't an active war zone.As you mature, you may start to suspect things that make it difficult to accept where you are. That your teachers and elders don't know shit and yet are completely … Continue reading Move
Party Time
One time I was at a little backyard fire pit party thrown by this Japanese pot fiend in Vancouver. One of the guests was a Russian pseudo-gangster (maybe a real G, it's hard to tell sometimes). The Japanese guy was friends with the Russian because he couldn't understand what a total douche the guy was, … Continue reading Party Time
Dumpster Fire Chique
A huge industrial dumpster. Plumes of toxic black smoke roil out of it into the sky over tongues of orange flame. Nubile models with dead sooty eyes feed the flames with pitchforks from atop piles of designer goods. Gucci. Louis Vuitton. Hermes. Handbags. Clothes. Shoes. All speared and thrown to the flames. At one end … Continue reading Dumpster Fire Chique
Glittery Gobs
Maybe it’s just me, but a lot of gold tinsel on a Christmas tree makes it look like King Midas has spent a week jerking off onto it.
Papa on Tickling
Papa. My grandfather.He was full-on German. And by full-on, I mean full-fucking-ON.Born and bred Prussian aristocracy: a real Von from Berlin. I'm not bragging, it just is what it is, and very relevant to who he was. Unless you've been pinned under the gaze of a man who's had that kind of upbringing, you can't … Continue reading Papa on Tickling
Party Time With the Cool Kids
At the first drinking party I went to in high school, everyone was going on about how great the last party was because some chick blew some guy, threw up all over herself, passed out in a bathtub, and then shit her pants. “And you know what? She's coming to the party later! Her brother … Continue reading Party Time With the Cool Kids
Audience
It’s important to get out and do things with people as much as you can, even if the people annoy the piss out of you.Now middle-aged, I’m grateful to have a head full of memories that I’m endlessly amused by, even though at the time of their creation I was often not enjoying myself as … Continue reading Audience
On Gamers
Okay, so WTF is Wrong With Gamers?I know this isn't breaking news, but it turns out that “gamers” suck. With behavior like “swatting” people as a goof, threatening rape and murder of women who are critical of the video game industry, and polluting whatever online forums they occupy with their regressive ideas and repetitive attempts … Continue reading On Gamers
Muse Vassal 