For years I had this default mental mechanism to seeing successful people; particularly artists and creators. I’d go into this pouty, self-pity-party mode with the central theme being:
“Why can’t I have that? Why do they get to have that and I don’t?”
It took a surprisingly long time for me to figure out the answer to these questions.
I can’t have that because I never did anything to achieve it. I never stuck with something for long enough to even have a chance to fail.
It’s like not starting your car and then complaining that it doesn’t accelerate.
It wasn’t the universe, or fate, that was selfishly depriving me of what I truly deserve. It was me choosing not to do what is necessary to succeed.
In reaching this conclusion, the question had to shift.
Why do I sabotage my own success?
That’s a harder one to answer.