Me, reading or watching educational content: “Huh, that’s interesting” or “Hmm, that seems fishy, I should check that out.” Inevitable comment on the content: “WHY THE FUCK WASN’T I MADE AWARE OF THIS IN SCHOOL?!!!" For fuck sakes, get a grip, youngster. While I have no doubt that your education system has failed you, it … Continue reading Education
Category: Blog
White People’s Gift
Tonight in one of my English conversation classes (here in Japan), we were discussing eating habits and weight gain. One of my students proclaimed that it’s okay to get fat; especially for white people. “Most white people look Doraemon shape,” she said. (Doraemon pictured below for reference.) “But,” she went on, “it’s okay. It’s a … Continue reading White People’s Gift
Research
Anytime someone you’re talking to starts mentioning their “research,” beware. Best case scenario is, they are some kind of university troglodyte that somehow hasn’t learned that their life’s work isn’t something other people want to hear about. This is just awkward and dull. So not unlike many conversations, really. More often that not, however, it’s … Continue reading Research
My Return to Japan
When I was in my late twenties I moved to Japan to teach English for two years. When I returned to Canada, I struck up a correspondence with a Japanese woman I had worked with at my school. She came to visit me for a few weeks and one thing led to another, as they … Continue reading My Return to Japan
Dueling Echo Chambers
I would like to start this piece with a one man play entitled:“Using Facebook.” Me: “Hmm, lets see what’s going on in Facebook.” Me, literally ten seconds later and three swipes into my feed: “I immediately regret this decision! What the fuck is wrong with you fucking people? How could I know this many stupid … Continue reading Dueling Echo Chambers
Create
It’s like a coin. You can’t have one face without the other. As much as you might love looking at heads, sooner or later tails is going to turn up. On the one side there’s the marvelous exhilaration of the creative burst after a long period of inactivity. The satisfaction of solving a problem that … Continue reading Create
Bad Dream
Had a bad dream a few nights ago. In it, my companion and I were fugitives trying to get to safety through a convoluted mess of urban landscapes. My companion was a woman who never did anything useful, but comforted me with her mere presence as she followed me about. We finally got into the … Continue reading Bad Dream
Cherish Your Anus
This is no joke, you fuckers. Not everyone is lucky enough to have an anus. Think on that when you’re knuckling into yours after a some sweet itch. Cherish it! When you have one of them scratchy poops that hurts so good, you need to really be in that moment and treasure every last nuance … Continue reading Cherish Your Anus
WTF, Luke?
Just watched Return of the Jedi again. It has its moments. However, I have to say the “there’s good in him, I feel it,” theme that runs through those movies about Darth Vader / Anakin Skywalker is some real bullshit. I mean, what the fuck, Luke? That’s your answer, is it? Fall back on the … Continue reading WTF, Luke?
On Noah’s Ark
I have an itch to stick with this whole Noah's Arc thing, since the story had a lot to do with me repudiating Christianity at a fairly young age. Having never received any religious indoctrination from my parents or grandparents, either positive or negative, I suppose it could be said I had a pretty open … Continue reading On Noah’s Ark
Muse Vassal 