Author: musevassal

MBA

Bob's not just an executive vice-president. He's an industrial-strength PowerDouche, Executive Class, guaranteed to extract profit from wherever it is put! Thanks to Bob, his company's shareholders have seen their dividends grow and grow! (WARNING: PowerDouche models may cause widespread societal collapse.)

Mama’s Story

I recall a Sunday family dinner at my German grandparents house, back when I was about four or five. There was a good amount of family there: I would guess about a dozen people, or so.As she was prone to do, my grandmother (who my sister and I called Mama) came out of the blue … Continue reading Mama’s Story →

Ted & Heidi: Conservative Love

Under the hot gaze of unblinking, glass eyes, Heidi extends her tongue and gently takes her husband's load. The camera operators may smirk, but they serve their lenses; the conduit to the masses. The masses: the collective third party in this intimate act. Ultimate threesome.Heidi feels the countless eyes upon her; millions of fingertips upon … Continue reading Ted & Heidi: Conservative Love →

Cereal Seconds

You know when you have some cereal and leave the bowl and spoon in the sink without rinsing them off? Then, later on you decide to have a second bowl and you don't want to go through more dishes, so you just rinse the bowl and spoon off quickly. But there's that ring of hardened … Continue reading Cereal Seconds →

A PSA For the Youngsters

So, a while back there was some kind of “scandal” in which a starlet’s racy nudes got hacked off her phone and released to the general public. The particulars of this do not matter, but in defence of herself, the actress said something that I felt the need to respond to. Such is my process.To … Continue reading A PSA For the Youngsters →

An Appeal For Reason From the Unreasonable

“The divisiveness of our modern society is tearing us apart! Conservative versus liberal; anti-vaccine versus pro-vaccine; lovers of freedom, like me, versus the woke gestapo of the cancel culture. This polarization is ruining marriages and destroying families!”Well, sir, I can agree with much of what you say. However, I do find your turn to this … Continue reading An Appeal For Reason From the Unreasonable →

Memories

Working in a 24 hour gas station/automotive shop in a meth/crack neighborhood of a big, stabby, Albertan city taught me many things. Street smarts, how to stand up to bullies, and sketchy-as-fuck junkie management. All very useful skills. Mostly it taught me that all those stories in Penthouse Letters are very possibly true. All very … Continue reading Memories →

Fantasy Hookers

Okay, what is the deal with massage parlor/rub and tug videos in the porn these days? This is both interesting and depressing to me. I'm all for the gonzo thing, since the pretense and pretension of harnessing porno with a plot always bothered me. But now we've got people fantasizing for sexy prostitution? Really? There's … Continue reading Fantasy Hookers →