Author: musevassal

Triceratops

When I was five, visiting my grandparents for the summer in Ontario, some relative gave me a big book about dinosaurs. Pretty sweet gift, I must say. (I thought so then, too.) One afternoon, I was leafing through that book on the porch of my grandparents’ cabin on the Ottawa river and some random adult … Continue reading Triceratops →

How It Has Always Been Done

In an exclusive boarding school for boys, there is an unusual hazing practice. When a young boy first joins his dormitory, the other boys (ranging in ages up to eighteen) drag him from his bed in the middle of the night to the toilets. There, they push his face into a toilet and stick a … Continue reading How It Has Always Been Done →

Diner

In Edmonton, I love 24 hour diners at four in the morning. It’s got to be four in the morning. In Edmonton, last call is 1 AM, and closing time is two. If you go to that diner at three, there’s just too many drunks. It’s like being inside a pen during feeding time. Not … Continue reading Diner →

Another PSA For the Young Women

First of all, this is not advice for all young women. If the title were more accurate it would read something like: “advice for those young women who seek a sexual encounter or a more long-term relationship with a male.” That's not the pithiest title, however, so, as is usual in all things, accuracy and … Continue reading Another PSA For the Young Women →

Complaining Stoically

“Without complaint” is not an expression one can self-apply without it becoming oxymoronic. “I bear this without complaint because of my love for you.” No you don’t. You just complained! That you chose to do it in a cunty, passive-aggressive way doesn’t mean you get to complain while simultaneously taking credit for the virtue of … Continue reading Complaining Stoically →

A Career in the Liberal Arts

I have a liberal arts BA myself: in History. I got it from an excellent department in a first rate Canadian university. I was privileged to receive that education. I am a better, more intelligent person for it. The real purpose of a liberal arts education is not to give you some piece of paper … Continue reading A Career in the Liberal Arts →

Exceptional

Back in elementary school when I first heard the expression, “we all put our pants on one leg at a time,” I resolved to put mine on both legs simultaneously from then on. It only took a couple of days of doing that before I realized that being exceptional was not worth the effort. It’s … Continue reading Exceptional →

On the Patriarchy

This is a petty gripe here, I know: but what the fuck is with the “the” certain people insist on putting in front of the word patriarchy?Society, the company you work for, and your family may all be patriarchal. I am not saying this does not exist. But it has been taken one step further … Continue reading On the Patriarchy →

Male Genital Mutilation: “It Just Looks Nicer”

Today I’d like to do a quick shout out for the practice of male genital mutilation, or, as it is more commonly known under its tidy little euphemism, circumcision. WTF, people? I get that the practice is nowhere near as brutal or heinous as the female version, but let’s be clear: it is intensely painful … Continue reading Male Genital Mutilation: “It Just Looks Nicer” →