Choke, Peep, and Knuckle waited in the military courtyard while Pinch sent a soldier to locate Gabe. Shane went to get his dogs from the kennel by the stable. Over at Choke and Mariola’s cottage, the blacksmith’s lad was with a carpenter working to put newly-made locking bolts on the outside of the window shutters.
Choke sighed.
“Well, that was nice while it lasted. A whole three nights,” he said.
“The iron drunk gives with one hand, and he takes away with the other,” Peep said.
“Iron drunk. That’s good,” Knuckle laughed.
“That was Mariola’s. She’s bright. Makes me wonder,” Peep finished with a smirk at Choke.
He failed to notice the dig.
“I understand Barrelmender’s reputation as a drunk. But that’s not exactly fair, now. He has been sober,” Choke said.
“What, for a whole three weeks, or something?” Peep laughed. “And whad’re ye talking about anyway? He was lit at yar wedding. He could barely stand up.”
“Really? I didn’t notice.”
“Yeah. Pussy-addled. So, Knuckle, whad’ye wanna do now? Do ye wanna come and fuck with Bob, or do ye mind staying out in the square and keeping an eye on things? One of us should probably be out there,” Peep said.
Knuckle shrugged. “Whatever. Yeah, I’ll take the square.”
They saw Shane off through the north gate, where Pinch handed him his bandit horn. Then Peep, Choke, Pinch, and Knuckle went to the square. It was now crowded. Word had spread, and the lumberjacks and farmers were shirking their labor to come into town and behold the spectacle of Thad’s comeuppance.
The mood of the crowd was cheerful as folks mingled and bantered with loud speculation and utterly unfounded assertions of fact. The soldiers were mostly mixed in with the folk. Corporal Osgar and two men were guarding Thad on the Wheel, with the bulk of the crowd standing around at a respectful distance to gawk at the corpse.
At the church steps, the Holy Fire Wailers were putting on a show of energetic prayer, now joined by about a dozen of the parish’s more devout members. The church doors remained closed.
The pyre under the burning Wheel was ready to go. The base was a one-meter-tall heap of tinder-dry twigs and smaller tree limbs. On top of that had been stacked larger and larger round logs, evenly spaced in a kind of lattice that reached right to the burning Wheel’s base.
When the Pekot Bunch entered the square, the crowd quieted for a second. A few people cheered, but their effusion did not catch on.
“I don’t see Bob,” Peep said, after scanning the crowd. “Ye reckon he’s in the church already?”
“No,” Pinch said.
“Let’s go check in with Osgar, first,” Choke said.
The crowd made way as for them as they went to the burning Wheel at the center of the square. Most of people seemed very positive, giving thumbs up and words of praise. Some of them even praised Stron.
“Anything to report, Corporal?” Choke asked Osgar once they reached him.
“Nothing much, sir. They all kept asking about what’s become of the girls this guy had with him. What’s happened to them? Where are they? Are we gonna burn them up, too? What about the other ones that didn’t come with him today? Are they gonna get burned? We can’t burn them. They’re good girls led astray. We gotta rescue them from Bristlenook. All that kinda shit. Some of them was getting pretty pushy about it. I had to yell at them to shut the fuck up about it already. Okay, yeah. And there they are,” Osgar said as he stabbed his spear point towards the crowd with a glare.
A group of particularly focused people had pushed their way through the crowd. There was about a dozen of them: mostly middle-aged couples. The crowd around them cleared away as everyone in the square reorganized themselves around this new situation that promised to be another entertaining spectacle.
The surrounding crowd hushed as the group adopted the posture of supplicants. Their spokesman, an elder man, stepped forward with his cap held in both hands.
“Please. Miss Otilla of the Holy Fire. And Lieutenant Pekot. Please. Please hear us,” he said, his voice shaking with more than simple fear.
“Fuck sakes,” Peep muttered.
The man flinched as though slapped.
“Don’t worry, sir,” Choke said loudly. “Please, relax. What it is? We will listen.”
“Thank ye, sir. First of all, praise Stron! Praise Him for punishing that evil, wicked man! And praise whoever Stron’s holy agent was that done it! Was it you, Miss Otilla? Was it yar Holy Fire that punished him?”
“No,” Peep said.
“It was Brother Barrelmender who did!” Choke proclaimed, pitching his voice for the entire square “Brother Barrelmender declared this man here, Thad Swallowtail, a heretic. And he executed him as such with Stron’s Holy Fire from his sword!”
“Praise Stron! Praise Him! Praise Brother Barrelmender!” the spokesman shouted, leading the crowd.
There was a bit of a delay in the response as everyone took a moment to get over their surprise that it was apparently Brother Barrelmender, and not Otila of the Holy Fire, who had delivered Stron’s wrath upon Thickmeat Thad the sex wizard.
“Praise Stron!” the spokesman repeated, once the crowd had quieted down enough.
“Yes. Praise Him,” Choke agreed as Peep sighed deeply in impatience next to him.
“Yes. Praise Him. And thanks to Brother Barrelmender, and to you, for what ye did today. It’s a great thing to finally see that evil, wretched, perverted man punished for his wicked ways. We are so grateful,” the spokesman paused here, obviously nervous about having more to say.
“Yeah, yeah. But?” Peep said sharply.
“Not but, Miss Otilla. I think and. And. We’re here to humbly beg for our sweet daughters, ye see. We didn’t see it for ourselves, but we’ve been told that Thad came here today with four women. But they’re the same four he brought with him when he first came here. The thing of it is, Miss, that he snatched up some of our girls, too. Four girls from Bristlehump here, to be exact. Our daughters,” the spokesman gestured to the people with him.
Peep began to open her mouth to respond, but Choke interrupted her:
“Peep. No. Let me.”
She gave him a dirty look, but dismissively waved for him to go ahead.
“I understand your concern, sir. And you have my sympathies,” Choke said. “What I can tell you right now is that the four women who came here with Thad today are as you said: the same women who came with him originally. They are still in the church, and Brother Barrelmender is deciding what is to be done with them.”
“Are they to be burned?” shrieked the spokesman’s wife, her voice almost hysterical.
“None of yar fuckin business!” Peep yelled at her.
“Peep! Please!” Choke barked before turning to the woman. “Ma’am, we cannot speak for Brother Barrelmender on this. But, I will say that he seems inclined to regard the women who were with Thad as victims of his crimes. I expect that any of them who sincerely confess their sins to him and repent of them shall receive forgiveness.”
There was visible relief from the errant girls’ families. Some in the crowd cheered. Some of the cheers were even fully earnest.
“When are ye gonna bring them back?” a man just behind the spokesman demanded.
“Please! Please! Bring our girls back to us!” a woman next to him pleaded.
“Hey!” Peep hollered. “That aint our business! What are we here, a slut recovery service? They’re just in Bristlenook. Go and fetch them back yarselves!”
Following this, there was a great deal of racket as the crowd all began to express their own opinions on the matter. For the most part, it seemed that folk were siding with Peep. As the hubbub was dying down, Annica came striding boldly up and gave a shrill whistle to attract everyone’s attention. She squared up to the errant girls’ families as she addressed the whole square:
“Hey now! Ye got some nerve don’t ye! Don’t ye! It’s just yar four girls from Bristlenook over there in Thad’s poon palace, is it? What about my two girls? What about Erica and Kimmy? Don’t forget them! Because yar precious little babies aint no better than hoors now! Just like me and mine! Least not in the eyes of the big, important Church men here! Aint that right, Lieutenant? If Erica and Kimmy come scraping back to beg Barrelmender for forgiveness, they’ll receive it too, won’t they? But are ye gonna run and fetch them back too?” Annica pitched her last question at Choke to finish.
“Ye see?” Peep said to Choke as the crowd went crazy.
Choke let things settle down just a bit before he raised both his hands in the air.
“Quiet! Quiet down, I said! Quiet!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.
It took some time, but the square eventually settled down enough for him to continue:
“Altas’ mercy is there for all who would ask. Confess and repent! That is all any of us can do. And in that, all we sinners are the same! And as for your daughters, I can make no promises as to their return. Please be patient. But all of you can spread the word! The church is here to forgive and redeem any who come and earnestly repent! Thank you!”
In the lull following Choke’s address, Annica raised her voice in her own pitch:
“And if any of yar daughters don’t wanna go and beg the church man for his scraps, they can always come and work for me! Spread that word while yar at it!”
Both raucous hilarity and offended outrage followed this.
“Okay, that’s it,” Choke said. He again raised his hands to address the crowd:
“That is all for now! Clear the square! Return to your homes! Attend to your own affairs! Clear the square!”
He turned to Pinch: “Go to the top of the church steps and hold your bow like you mean it.”
Pinch nodded and hurried there. Choke looked to Knuckle:
“Call the men to formation here.”
“Yes, sir,” Knuckle said. “Soldiers! To me! Now! Form up! Now! Now! Corporal! Get them the fuck here! Move! Now!”
With Knuckle bellowing to gather the soldiers, and Osgar moving out through the crowd with some fairly violent shoves of his shield, the folk in the square dispersed quickly. Having already gotten well-more than their expected entertainment from the event, most of the folk went with good cheer. Whatever everyone’s feelings about it, however, they all moved on.
Several of the errant girls’ family members were not going to give up so easily, though, and they clamored for more of Choke’s attention. While Choke took a little more time to give them platitudes, Peep stepped away to lock eyes with Annica. The up-in-coming madam was standing with swagger, staring at Peep with amused malevolence. It was immediately clear to Peep that the woman believed she had something over them now. In Annica’s mind, the power balance had shifted between them. Peep smiled back at her.
“You got anything to say to me?” Peep asked.
“No, Miss Otilla. Not a thing.”
“Well, then, ye best move on, bitch.”
“Yes, Miss Otilla. Thank you, Miss Otilla,” Annica said sweetly. She turned with a flourish and sashayed across the square to collect Mya, who was on the church steps attempting to attract Pinch’s attention.
Peep turned back to the few remaining supplicants still there pleading with Choke:
“Hey!” Peep yelled. She strode aggressively at them, causing them to recoil in fear. “Clear the square, he said! And what did I say to you already? Bristlenook aint that far! Deal with it! We did our part! Now fuck off!”
The folk hurried off, terrified.
“Peep,” Choke sighed. “If you can’t manage compassion, then at least could you let me handle situations like that?”
“Fuck no. We’d be here all day listening to their bullshit like it matters. We aint got time for their selfish shit.”
“Great. Thank you,” Choke said, turning his back on Peep to look around the square.
It was clear of townsfolk, but the tavern was now crowded. The more festive element of the crowd had evidently decided to turn the event into a proper party. Annica and Mya’s laughs and delighted shrieks could be heard from the establishment’s wide-open shutters.
Knuckle was now making a good show of striding up and down in front of his men at attention.
“You have the square, Sergeant,” Choke said to him. “We will check in at the church.”
“Yes, sir!” Knuckle bellowed, snapping off a smart salute in a clear performance for the audience in the tavern.
Choke, Peep, and Pinch went into the church. Thad’s three young women, Grace, Nathalie, and Petrina, were still together in the pews at prayer, a portrait of chaste piety. Mariola was sweeping up the right aisle.
“Bob didn’t pop by, did he?” Peep called loudly across the church to Mariola.
“Who? No. No one’s come in.”
Choke and Peep moved over to Mariola down the right aisle. Pinch was about to follow, but changed his mind and went down the center aisle to the front of the church. He turned back to stare at the three women. They had not changed their performance in the slightest.
“Where’s Barrelmender?” Peep asked quietly when she and Choke reached Mariola.
“In the kitchen doing more writing. Choke, is he really putting these girls into our cottage?” Mariola asked, making no effort to hide her annoyance.
“Yes. We have to keep them safe.”
“Why?” Mariola asked, shaking her head in even greater displeasure.
“Thank ye,” Peep interjected.
“Look. The both of you. I understand that, given what you both have been through, this situation must be frustrating. But—”
“No. Ye don’t understand,” Peep interrupted. “Maybe if young Dugnut had been full grown and had his way with ye, then ye might. But, whatever. We don’t got time to get into all this now. And it’s pointless, anyways.”
Choke sighed.
“Fine. Where are we gonna stay?” Mariola asked Choke.
“We can stay in my quarters in the barracks tonight. If that’s not okay, then, maybe tomorrow we can try to find another cottage to rent. Okay?”
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever. And what do ye want done with that?” Mariola pointed the broom handle over at the second pew from the front.
“With what?”
“That box. With the… the… sex carving inside. It’s over there on that bench,” Mariola said, with just a hint of her usual good humor flickering in her eyes.
“Ye had a look in it, didn’t ye?” Peep said with a twinkle of her own.
“Yeah. Of course. I aint gonna touch the thing, though. Who knows where it’s been.”
“Yeah, good point, actually,” Peep said, her twinkle faded, as she unconsciously wiped her hands on her breeches.
“That profane thing burns,” Choke said emphatically. “With Thad, I think.”
“Okay. Great. Where do I put it until then?” Mariola asked.
“You don’t touch it again. I’ll take it to Brother Barrelmender and see what he wants done with it.”
“Sir. Yes, sir,” Mariola said, giving Choke a glare and a salute.
He sighed.
Peep had meanwhile moved over to the pew to retrieve the box. She flipped it open and stared down at the carving.
“Peep!” Choke exclaimed as though speaking to a mischievous toddler.
Over by the altar, Pinch finally tore his gaze away from the women and looked over.
“That thing again? Ye gonna play with it some more, Peep? Ye oughta get a room!” he laughed.
Peep flipped the box shut and gave Pinch the finger before bringing the box over to Choke. He held his hand out for it. Instead of handing it over, Peep pulled it in tight to her belly.
“Okay, Choke. Now just hear me out,” she said.
“Peep,” Choke groaned, his head rolling back in despair.
“No. Look, man. I hear what yar saying about burning this thing. I get that. But, what if we give it a good wash and I hang on to it? Ye know, as an example of the kind of badness that these moon heretics get up to. Ye know, to show people what not to do. Don’t ye think that could be alright?”
Choke took a moment to do some calming breathing. While he did, Mariola goggled at Peep before giving a little giggle and turning away to get back to her sweeping.
“What? I’m just asking,” Peep said.
Choke took a deep breath before squaring up to respond:
“Peep. That thing is a physical representation of vile heresy. It has turned our heavenly Father, Altas, into a… a… I’m not even going to say it! Just one look at it was all Barrelmender needed to condemn Thad as a heretic. I know you think everything is a joke, but I need you to really listen to me now. We saw Father Morrenthall at work with Sheriff Waters and Billy. You saw how that was handled. Now consider that the matter he was dealing with was simply criminal. Can you imagine what an investigation of heresy must be like? And also remember that at some point, Church agents will be investigating you and your Holy Fire. You will be interviewed. Probably by an Inquisitor from the Brothers of the Holy Stone. These are the men that the Arch Bishop himself sends when noblemen need to burn. The very best, and the hardest. And one of those men will determine whether or not your Holy Fire is a gift from Altas, or if it is some kind of demonic possession. I guarantee to you, that is a very real concern. Please believe me! So, at that time, do you really want to be holding onto that thing? Really!”
“So, what? Ye think this is from a demon?” Peep asked holding her palm up in Choke’s face.
“No. Of course not. I have felt its power. I know it is holy and right. But you need to understand that you are being discussed by top Church officials. We know that. And they have not yet felt that power. And sooner or later, they will need to check on it. And on you. And at that time, you will need to act right. This blessing you have is not a license to do whatever you want, Peep.”
“So, what if I don’t act right? What then?”
“I don’t know. But I do know that in the history of our faith, there are multiple heresies that were all crushed. Almost all of them were led by people who started out as holy leaders within the Church. All of those men and women had gifts from Altas and Stron that allowed them to be leaders of the Faith. But they did not act right. They stepped away from proper doctrine and taught their own interpretation. They led their flocks astray to aggrandize themselves in greed for power. Just as Thad did. In a less moronic and obvious way, I would hope. Anyways, they were all burned. All of them.”
Peep was thoughtful as she listened.
“How d’ye know all this?” she asked.
“Brother Willem gave me a proper religious education at the orphanage. The Brothers of the Holy Stone have a mandate to protect the Faith from dangers both within and without. Charismatic religious leaders preaching new ideas are always thoroughly investigated. Such leaders are a greater risk to the Faith as a whole than any magical beast or undead horror. And I know that you are not attempting to do anything like what those heretics did. You are just having your fun. But when the Arch Bishop’s inquisitors come to investigate you, they will be very concerned about your background. And your attitude. You have to act correctly towards Church men. As I know you can. As you have with Father Morrenthall. Do you understand, Peep?”
Peep met Choke’s eye and nodded earnestly. Then her usual bravado took over again. She shrugged dismissively and handed the box over to Choke.
“Sure. Whatever,” she said as she did.
“Thank you, Peep. I trust you heard me.”
Peep again shrugged. She looked over to Mariola, who was now simply standing with her broom, beaming in admiration at Choke’s lecture.
“You got these three, huh?” Peep asked Mariola, thrusting her thumb the three young women’s way.
“Guess so. Whether I want them, or not.”
“Good.” Peep converted her pointing gesture to a thumbs up for Mariola. Then she looked to Choke and Pinch. “Bob aint come. He aint coming. We gotta figure out our next move.”
“Seems so,” Pinch said.
Choke nodded.
“Let’s see what Barrelmender has to say, just in case,” Peep said.
Choke nodded again. Pinch sighed and tore his gaze away from the three women, who had noticed his attention and were returning it with coy glances.
“Let’s go, loverboy!” Peep barked at him. “And don’t ye even think about it!”
Pinch glared at Peep, but turned away to the kitchen door without a response otherwise. Peep and Choke moved down the right aisle to join him there. At they passed, Mariola swooped in to give Choke a quick hug and a kiss.
“Real cute,” Peep said, once they were free of her. “But if yar worrying about people acting right for the church bosses, them three there are gonna be yar biggest problem, I reckon.”
“Thank you, Peep! And what do you propose I do about it?” Choke snapped.
“That’s easy, man. Stop worrying about it.”
Muse Vassal 