“You fuckin dipshits and yar bullshit with pussy have got us all tangled up. We’ve been slipping up,” Peep griped, giving both Choke and Knuckle pointed looks across the table in the barracks’ dining room.
Peep, Choke, Knuckle, Pinch, and Shane were digging into a late lunch, following the stealth squad’s return from their unsuccessful hunt of Sneed. Peep had remained in a foul mood since declaring it a bust.
“Oh, for fuck sake’s, come on!” Knuckle returned.
“Yeah, that’s it, dumbass! Ye damn near got yarself killed yesterday!” Peep yelled. “Sneaking off to fuck Shasta, the pig, at her place. With Sneed back! They coulda plucked ye without breaking a sweat.”
Knuckle flinched but immediately waved Peep off with his usual oafish bluster.
“This had occurred to me,” Choke interjected. “We got lucky there.”
“Oh, come on!” Knuckle exclaimed. “Like they’d know to set up at her place.”
“Why wouldn’t they?” Peep said. “It aint like it’s a big secret that yar fucking her. It’s the talk of the town. Big fucking laugh; the two of ye pigs grunting away in the shitter together. And you!” she pointed at Choke. “It aint like you were any better. Off fucking in the woods in a tent.”
Choke nodded, conceding. “You are right, Peep. We got lucky.”
“But it aint like you said anything about them doing it at the time, Peep,” Pinch interjected. “So, yeah, we’ve all been slack, and we got away with it. But right now we’ve got a bit of an advantage over Sneed, so what are we gonna do about it?”
Peep scowled hard at Pinch.
“What?” he asked her.
“Advantage? How d’ye figure that, dipshit?”
“Well, we know Sneed is back and he doesn’t know that we know. Right? We mighta got him today. That was a good play. We’ve probably got one more shot like that. We just gotta figure out what his next move is gonna be,” Pinch said.
Peep snorted.
“What?”
“Fuck, Pinch. Give yar toque a spin, man. Ye think he don’t know that we know he’s back by now? He’s got his ear to the ground out Bristlenook way, and what’s everybody and their fuckin sister talking about? Thad coming in to hand himself over to us. Tripping balls on an epic Diya dose, no less. The very day after Sneed comes back. And guaranteed he’s heard all about our little set-to at Gotthilf’s place. So if ye think he can’t piece together exactly what’s gone on there, ye got yar head up yar ass.”
Shane pushed his empty bowl away from himself and leaned forward significantly to interject himself:
“I agree with Miss Otilla— ah. Peep,” Shane said, catching himself as Peep glared at his initial choice of name. “Even though Sneed probably can’t know for sure that you and Diya had this arrangement, he will naturally assume you will have heard he is back. Yesterday, he spoke to people in Bristlenook about you, right out in the open. That means that he’s decided that getting clear information on what ye’ve been up to is more important than keeping it secret that he’s back. Today, if I were him, I woulda planned to get in contact with my informants in town here. But with Thad coming in and all the hullaballoo that’s kicked up over it, that’s probably disrupted.”
Everyone was thoughtful about this.
“So, who are his most likely informants?” Pinch asked.
“He was awful comfy at Tully’s,” Peep said. She snapped her fingers and looked significantly at Pinch and then Shane. “The hoors! What did I say before about how Rackham got all his info? He’s gonna talk to the hoors. Ahh… Annica and Mya. Right?”
Pinch flinched as he saw where Peep would likely be going with this. He looked for a second like he might push back on her idea, but then nodded.
“Yes. I think you’re right, Peep. He’s gonna want to talk to them. But, are they gonna wanna help him? They’ve been… alright with us,” Pinch said, looking embarrassed as he did.
“What did I just say about pussy muddling ye guys up? Pussy-addled fuckers. Ye think because they’ve been buttering ye up, that means they like ye? Fuck, man. Come on!” Peep said.
Shane sighed and leaned in again. He was obviously deeply embarrassed as he spoke, and completely avoided looking Peep’s way as he did.
“I… ah. Stron forgive me. I aint proud to admit this, but I think I gotta. I was known to frequent Tully’s for a while back. Since I took over the Tanglefoot, pretty much. And I’ve been to see Mya and Annica since I been here this time. Now, Mya’s a sweetheart, and a simple soul. She’ll go whichever way a strong gust blows. But Annica? She’s sharp. In every way. And she don’t care for you lot one little bit. Ye killed her man Tully. She blames ye on that, of course. And for her then getting snatched up by that soldier pimp, and then after him, by that other one from Spitzer. I’m telling ye: she’ll go outta her way to help lay ye low. Mark me on that.”
“Ye see?” Peep said to Pinch. “So, Shane. Tully’s was a shady place, right? How’d they take to a King’s man like yarself frequenting the joint?”
Shane shrugged. “I never really put that out there in these parts. I suppose some people might know it about me, but I was just looking to spend some coin and get on my way. Also keep my ear to the ground in a low-key way. It aint like I was running bounties down or sticking my beak into anyone’s affairs out this way. And Tully, shady as he was, weren’t gonna turn coin down.”
“Fair enough. Was just curious,” Peep said.
“Fine,” Pinch interjected. “So, Annica and Mya are going to be helping Sneed, apparently. So I guess we set up on Big Rock next, right? Their new place isn’t far off from where Tully’s used to be.”
“That’s what I was thinking. If Sneed is gonna sneak in to have a word, or to pull them out, he’ll be going through there. We need to check if them bitches are even there right now. He mighta snatched them up already,” Peep said.
“Nah, they’re in the town square with everybody else,” Knuckle said. “I seen them just now when we came back from the south gate.”
“Okay. Good. That’ll keep, then. So the first thing is we got Bob showing up at the church any minute,” Peep said.
“Yes. Let’s not forget that,” Choke said. “So, just to get this straight, Peep: you told the ox drivers that all the teamsters need to report to Bob what they think we need to know. And that Bob needs to report it to us. And, otherwise, you’ll start collecting teamster heads. I have that right, yes?”
“Yeah! Fuckin rights! I’m sick of their shit,” she snapped.
“The fuck?” Knuckle said, shaking his head in confusion, since he had not been present when Peep had told Choke about the situation.
“What?” Peep barked at him.
“Whad’ye mean, what? Fuck sakes, Peep. Any of them guys that help us are gonna get killed. Even I know it!” Knuckle laughed. “And leaning on Bob out in the open like that? After how he’s helped us already?”
“Well, with that in mind, how’s it gonna look if we don’t lean on him? Sneed is supposed to be his head of security, remember? Why wouldn’t we lean on Bob unless he was helping us out already?” Peep said.
Knuckle shrugged. “Fucked if I know. All this sneaking around and talking. We should just ride into Gorefield and fuckin kill them, I say.”
“Fuckin genius,” Peep glared at him. “Just shut the fuck up, if that’s the best ye can offer.”
“What? Fuck you, Peep. We should just thunder run it like last time,” said Knuckle.
“Seriously? It aint near the same situation, ye dipshit. We got clicks of wilderness trails between here and there, and the final approach is one track through swampland. Where some kind of cannibal clan is set up to snatch travelers to get flayed alive in druid sacrifices. Ye think they aint dug in and on the lookout?” Peep almost shouted.
“Yeah. Whatever,” Knuckle snorted.
“Sure. Whatever.”
“Okay,” Pinch said, leaning in with his hands up in a calming gesture. “Let’s just calm down. We have Bob showing up right away. Remember?”
“He can fuckin wait,” Peep snapped.
“Sure. Okay. But what are we after with him?” Pinch asked.
“Ye heard what I said to those shit-kickers. They get in line with us, or we fuck them up. And while we’re on the fuckin subject: where the fuck Gabe lately? Aint he supposed to be helping us out?”
“He’s been around. Just a couple days ago he sorted us out with a bunch of carrots for Hubert,” Pinch said, referencing their cook.
“Great. So he’s our fuckin veg man now. Real fuckin useful.”
“What’s the problem now, Peep? Gabe’s been helping me almost every day with supplies from the locals. Just because you don’t value that work doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to get done. So what does Gabe have to do with the teamsters and Bob?”
“Yar gonna ask that? His people are all fuckin teamsters! We should be hearing shit from them!” Peep yelled.
“Peep. Please,” Choke said. “We went over that with them right at the start. They can’t help us like that. Not without putting their lives at risk.”
“No. Fuck that. That was when we were new here and the Outfit had the run of the place. Now we are holding this place down, and Sneed’s skulking out in the bush with the cousin fuckers. Balan and them are Stronians. They’re meant to be on our side. And they’re teamsters. They’re out there every day working alongside the lumberjacks. We need them to have their fuckin ear to the ground. Gabe lives with them. So they can tell him what they hear, and he can come up here and tell us. He’s already supposed to be working for us, so they’re exposed there anyways. We gotta tighten this shit up,” said Peep.
Choke nodded thoughtfully. “Okay. Yes, I agree. We should talk to Gabe, Babs, and Balan.”
“Thank you. So, Pinch: when we head out here to meet Bob, ye snag somebody and send them to fetch Gabe. We’ll get him sorted right after Bob.”
“Fine. I’ll do that. But, what about Bob? You can’t really expect him and his guys to start working for us out in the open. Not after what Sneed did to Rodolf with the fishhook.”
“Well, we’re gonna rattle their fuckin cage a bit, at least. And from Sneed’s side, it would look weird if we didn’t. Especially after what went down in Spitzer with the teamster Outfit boss there. Right?” Peep said.
Pinch nodded to concede Peep’s point.
Shane leaned in and raised his hand.
“Sorry, but about Bob. I’m getting the sense that he’s been more involved with you guys than just being on the fence a bit. What’s the situation been with him?”
“Ah. Yes. I’m sorry, Shane,” Choke said. “I suppose you need to know everything. Briefly, when we were working to collect evidence of the previous commander here, Lieutenant Dixon’s corruption, Sneed killed our first informant. A farmer named Hardmod. That enraged Bob. We reached out to him and met secretly. He gave us the full picture of what was happening, including Sneed’s role. We arrested Dixon and he was killed by Sneed and his men as we left town with him. We continued on to Spitzer to report our evidence. I was made the Lieutenant here, but before we could leave Spitzer, Outfit men in the army tried to kill Pinch and me at the fort. One man, who had shot me with a crossbow, escaped out here and was seeking to hook up with Sneed. We again met secretly with Bob and he told us where to find the man. Officially, we tracked him to his hideout in the bush after he took Annica and Mya from the soldier who had deserted to start up his own brothel with them. I think that’s about it, right?” Choke looked between Peep and Pinch to check.
Both of them nodded. Knuckle continued to stare off into space.
“Okay. Thank ye, LT,” Shane said. “That clears that up. I heard about the business with the Spitzer guy from Mya and Annica. Didn’t know Bob had a hand in it. So, with all that being so, it aint exactly true to say he’s just been on the fence with ye guys. Sounds like he’s been pretty solid for ye. Huh. Aint that a twist.”
Shane drifted off into private rumination as he processed this.
“You have a history with Bob, don’t you? Choke asked. “I was going to ask you about it, but with your news from Callic, and everything else going on, I forgot all about it. Do you mind telling us about it? It might be relevant.”
Shane shrugged. “Yeah, sure. I don’t think there’s much to it, though. We was both on the same caravan back in the day, when we was young pups. Bob was a driver, of course. I was a guard and hunter. Anyways, Bob fancied himself a tough guy and an up-in-coming boss type. Really leaning into it, if ye see what I’m saying. He tried to push me around and I wasn’t having none of it. Tuned him up pretty good. Truth be told, though, he gave me almost as good as he got. Just a punch fight, mind. But we busted each other up plenty. I got the best of him in the end, though.”
“Just a beating? That’s it? That don’t seem like it should linger on so,” Peep said.
“Well, no. Yar right. It weren’t left there. Like I said, he fancied himself an up-in-coming heavy. Couldn’t let that result stand. Not with Outfit cats to impress. So, he tried to sort me out. Him and his brother and one other feller tried to bust me up with ax handles when I was coming back from a hunt. I’m ashamed to say that tuckered out as I was, they did get the drop on me. Laid a couple of good licks on me with their lumber before I could get my feet under me proper. That pissed me off, though. I stabbed and killed the one feller. Then I slashed Bob’s brother’s leg. I think his name was Rick. Or Dick. Something like that. Whatever his name was, he was a dick, too. Anyways, I hamstrung him. He never walked right again, I heard. So, with them two down, Bob ran away. Left his brother to me, the coward. So I picked my bow back up and ass shot him,” Shane said with a faraway look and nostalgic smile.
“You what? Ass shot Bob? Like, in his ass?” Pinch asked.
“Yeah. Right through the ass. Not my intention, though. He was running away, right? And I was choked as all hell at him for coming at me like that. So my intention was to gut shoot him through the back. But my aim was a bit off and I got him through the right ass cheek.”
“Well, okay, then,” Pinch said, his eyes wide.
“Ye know, Shane, the more I hear from ye, the more I like ye,” Peep said with a happy grin.
Shane flushed and nodded deeply to her.
“So, ye kill the one fella, cripple the brother, and ass shoot Bob. Then what happened?” Peep asked.
“Well, I had to light outta there, is what. They was young dipshits, sure, but they was still teamsters, right? Me, I’m just a bushrat. So, regardless of the right or wrong of it, it was gonna be a murder beef on me. So I split. Joined the Baron’s forces as a scout. Let them snatch me up and take me off to the Alquinian front. By the time I got back from that, there weren’t gonna be no law in this barony that would come after me. I did run into Bob here and there, from time to time, but there was nothing he could do about it.”
“So he just let it go. Fuckin pussy,” Knuckle said with a smirk.
“Well, to be fair to him, I suppose he did try one more poke at me. That first time he seen me again. Down in Spitzer. He was around the lumber yard at that time. I was back in town after a stint up Didsbury way killing gobos. So, I’m with my little crew and Bob’s with his, and we run into each other out on the strip on Saturday night. He looks at me askance and says a thing or two that could be construed as threatening. We was all drunk, of course, so it kicked off right away. I reckon we got the best of them in that. It was a good tussle. Now I am ashamed to say that in those days I still had my temper. So, I wasn’t willing to leave it at that. So, me and a couple of my boys, we snatched him up a couple of days later at his place and drug him out into the bush. Drug him behind a horse for a bit. Then strung him up by his ankles from a tree and dangled him over the dogs. And I reckon that maybe a couple of them got a chunk or two out of him. I’m ashamed to say that I was gonna let them finish him like that, but my fellers talked some sense into me. So we left it at that. Made our point. We let him down and took his boots and left him out there to walk back to town by himself. Give him some time in solitude to reflect on his choices in life. And he never looked at me sideways again. So, that’s pretty much where him and me are at.”
It was silent for some time as everyone digested Shane’s story. Peep finally clapped her hands softly as she chuckled.
“Fuckin Bob, strung up over dogs,” she laughed. “What a sad, sorry fuck. And ye said there weren’t much to yar beef? Someday I’d like to hear about something ye think was worth getting bothered about.”
Shane grimaced. “Well, I aint proud of it. But that’s the sort of sensibilities I had about them things in those days. Ye know, it’s like there’s a natural order to things, right? Coyotes aint gonna mess with a bear. Not a full grown, healthy one. They just know not to do it. But, ye know, sometimes fellers like that who get used to running in a pack and kicking smaller folk around, they get to thinking that they got the run of everyone. And that just aint how it is. And ye gotta give them some help sometimes. Help them understand their place in the natural order of things. Ye know, it’s like they’re outta tune. In their head, I mean. Like a fiddle that’s just a bit off. So they just need to be tuned up a bit. That’s what we did for Bob. We gave him some help. Just a bit of a tune up.”
“Well, I guess ye did at that, Shane,” Peep chuckled.
“What about the Outfit, Shane,” Pinch asked. “Ye mentioned that Bob was trying to impress them. Weren’t they a problem for you?”
“Well, I guess maybe I misspoke on that a bit? We didn’t use that word back then, now that I think on it. I suppose there’s always been hard teamsters that muscle folks and keep their people safe. Maybe they called themselves that. I don’t know. But out here we didn’t have that notion of them so organized. And soldiers aint gonna stand for getting pushed around by shit-kickers. Not like that. But at the bases and forts around the Alquinian front, that was a different story. Ye got a lot of supplies running back and forth, so that’s a lot of teamsters. And then there’s the shady people running the hoors and gambling for all them soldiers. So that’s where ye really gotta watch yarself,” Shane said.
“This is interesting, Shane,” Choke said. “Do you mean that in your days in the army, there wasn’t an Outfit presence in the military itself?”
Shane met Choke’s eye with a shrewd look. “No. Not in ours. My Baron wouldn’t a stood for that. I mean, how’s something like that gonna take root unless ye let it?”
“Interesting. Well, I will say, emphatically, that we are not at liberty to discuss any details on this,” Choke paused to look significantly at Peep, Pinch, and Knuckle in turn. “But there most certainly was a significant Outfit presence in Fort Spitzer. Hopefully that has been cleaned up by now. It is something to remain aware of, though.”
Shane nodded. “Well, I aint gonna tell ye that’s a surprise to hear. And, yeah, I think it’s best just to let sleeping dogs lie. No sense stirring up a ruckus unless ye have to. But I will just say, that it was well understood, that the current Baron Hart sure did like his card games. At least in my time, I mean, when he was coming up as a young officer. And I think that’s more than enough said on that.”
“Yes. I agree,” Choke sighed. “Well, thank you for your candor, Shane.”
“No problem, LT. Now, if I may, I’m just wondering if ye want me there at the church when yar pressing Bob right away.”
“That’s a good question, Shane. I’m not sure,” Choke said, looking to Peep.
She shrugged. “Well, ye’ll shit him up all the quicker. But maybe having him fully shit-riddled right off the bat aint what we want. What do you think, Shane?”
“Well, if it’s up to me, I’d just as soon not have to lay eyes on him again. Might provoke me into something I regret. And I’m sure he don’t wanna see me. So I’d guess ye’ll find him a bit easier to deal with if I aint there. And if he’s been helping ye out so good already, like ye said, then I don’t suppose there’s any cause for ye to lean on him hard.”
“Ye mean besides that it’s so much fun?” Peep laughed.
“Yeah. Besides that,” Shane snorted, finally meeting her eye again for the first time since he had mentioned Mya and Annica.
“Okay, great,” Pinch interjected. “But what are we even after with him? You really expect him to have all the teamsters report to us? We’ve got Balan and them anyways. Do we even want to hear whatever bullshit those other assholes come up with?”
“No, I don’t guess so,” Peep admitted. “But I went and told them guys to tell Bob that, so we gotta follow up on it. And it’s not a bad idea to make a show of it anyways. Ye know, to cover Bob’s ass with Sneed.”
“Well aint that nice of you,” Pinch smirked at Peep. “And that’s what was going through your head when you laid that shit on them three drivers?”
Peep gave Pinch the finger. “No. Ye fucker. I was pissed that we didn’t catch Sneed and I took it out on them. And not until after I found out they were withholding word about Sneed being back.”
“They weren’t withholding it, Peep. They just didn’t tell us right off. They’re just fuckin ox drivers.”
“They’re assholes, is what they are. And shit rolls downhill. And being shitkickers already, who better to catch it? So let’s go shit in Bob’s hat now,” Peep said cheerfully.
Peep stood up from the table. Choke, Pinch, and Knuckle did so as well. They all paused and looked to Shane, who remained sitting. He was staring up at Peep with a stunned expression.
“What?” she asked him.
“I don’t know, Miss— I mean, Peep. It’s just that yar meant to be the sacred vessel of Stron’s Holy Fire.”
“Yeah? And?”
“And, well… I’m sorry, but… ye talk like some of the worst bushrat psychos I ever been around.”
Peep laughed. “Oh, no shit? Well, ye oughta introduce me sometime. We could probably learn something from each other. Yeah, it’s a fuckin mystery, huh? Don’t ask me. Stron does move in mysterious ways, don’t he?”
“Yeah, welcome to our world,” Pinch said.
“It does get easier. I hope,” Choke said.
“Vulgar vessel, indeed,” Pinch said.
“Hey now, that’s some undead slander right there. Don’t ye be tainting me with it,” Peep said, pointing at him. She had a smirk on, though, and then took a moment to gaze happily at the bright steel Wheel ring on her left ring finger.
“So, are we gonna go fuck with Bob, or what?” Knuckle said.
“Yeah. For sure,” Peep said. She looked to Shane: “Ye coming, man?”
He took a moment to compose himself before standing up.
“No, don’t reckon I will. I think I wanna take a skulk down around Big Rock. It’s been a good while since I’ve been back there. I wanna see the lay of the land and get a feel for it.”
“Okay. Be careful. That’s gotta be where Sneed and his will be creeping up on us,” Peep said.
“I know it.”
“Take my horn with you, at least,” Pinch said.
“Sure.”
“Okay!” Peep clapped her hands. “Let’s get to it. Bob’s hat aint gonna shit in itself!”
Muse Vassal 