Body Rapping With Aiden

When I was about eight or nine years old I befriended Aiden, a small kid a year younger than me who lived nearby. Aiden was an only child with a single mom, and I guess he had things pretty rough. His mom was always working, so Aiden was by himself a lot.

However, the big bonus of having a hardworking single mom (as far as we were concerned) was that she felt pretty guilty about not being around. This meant that Aiden would sometimes be able to get her to buy him a cool toy.

One such toy was the body rap system.

Now, most folks won’t be aware of the full throttle  awesomeness that was the body rap system. Check this shit out!

Body Rap

Like I said: pure awesomeness.

Aiden invited me to come over to play with his body rap system and we got right to it. We soon discovered that rather than wear the “sound pads,” it was much easier just to lay them out on the floor and use them like a mini drum kit. What fun!

Man, did we ever rap it up! I’d say we had us a good, solid fifteen minutes of fun before it started getting old. By this time, Aiden was getting mad (he had some rage issues) with the sound pad that said, “BODY!” He didn’t like it, for some reason.

I kinda thought that one was cool, actually, because, you could make the machine stutter by tapping it quickly. “B-b-b-BODY! BODY! B-BO-B-BODY! RAP! *cymbal crash*”

But Aiden was adamant: the “BODY” pad was fucking him up. Perhaps he was just jealous of the awesome, stuttering grooves I was laying down with that motherfucker.

Whatever his reasons, Aided decided the “BODY” pad had to go. He ran off to the kitchen, came back with a pair of side-cutters, and clipped the cable of the “BODY” sensor. However, rather than solve his problems, this must have pushed the two wires together in the cable to form a short-circuit.

“BODY! BODY! BODY! BODY! BODY!”

It wouldn’t stop saying “BODY!” Even worse, the body input seemed to override all the others, because that was the only sound it would make. Aiden was getting angrier, and my gales of laughter were probably not helping.

“BODY! BODY! BODY! BODY! BODY!”

Feeling a little bad. I recommended turning it off and on again. (My dad was an early adopter of the home computer, so I was already all over that shit.) We did so.

“BODY! BODY! BODY! BODY! BODY!”

Then we tried taking the batteries out and then putting them back in.

“BODY! BODY! BODY! BODY! BODY!”

It was at this point that Aiden flew into a complete rage and started smashing his body rap system into the floor by its cable bundle. I can’t remember if that held up, but however he did it, Aiden persisted and completely destroyed his body rap system.

No mo body rappin for us.

Aiden was pretty inconsolable. By this I mean he flew into a full on, ape-shit spaz attack (the technical term we had for such behavior in those days) and began demolishing other stuff in his room. I went home at some point during this.

Poor Aiden. This anecdote wound up being a lot less amusing than I tend to remember it, now that I’ve typed it all out. But that’s childhood memories for you.

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