Say! Those are some swell tattoos.
So, you’re a pirate, huh? Cut your teeth sailing the high seas, raping your way across the Caribbean in search of Spanish gold?
Have you even been on a sailing vessel?
Again with the no.
Then I suppose it could be said that all your tattoos of pirate iconography just make you look like some kind of poseur hipster cunt.
Good thing for you that you’re appropriating the unearned badges of honor of a bygone criminal underclass. This way you’ll never need to have that, “so, tell me, where the fuck did you earn that ink? Who you with?” conversation with an actual, real life hardcase.
If you ever met a real pirate your booty would be the booty.