“Humble selfie” is the perfect oxymoron for our times. I realize that most people who do the whole selfie thing probably have no idea what I'm talking about here. Not just that they don't know what the word oxymoron means (although most probably don't), but that they aren't able to get why it is oxymoronic. … Continue reading Humble Selfie
In the bathroom cubicle of life, it’s sometimes tough to know what side of the gloryhole you’re on. -Balls Malone
Cars Don’t Kill People
Cars are merely a tool designed to get people and goods from point A to point B. It is the people who misuse this tool that cause all the problems. As a believer in Freedom, I think it is completely bogus that the nanny state restricts that freedom in regards to this tool. Since the … Continue reading Cars Don’t Kill People
kitty’s love
Self-Assessment
On the job I combine highly professional and skilled work with aggressive and horrifyingly repulsive guerrilla flatulence.
Sex Troubles
I am a bona fide expert at fucking up opportunities for sex. (Believe it or not, I have had them over the years.) Whatever I have going on, it must work for women in that initial attraction stage, because since high school I've very rarely been turned down when I've asked a woman out. At … Continue reading Sex Troubles
When you're in someone's house for the first time and you see they own a set of bongos, it's very much like finding an improperly stored firearm: this person is trouble.
Pick a Side
Pick a side. Doesn't matter which; it is about as relevant as the name on a concert t-shirt. The important thing is that you have a brand to engage your tribalism with. Now that you know what side you're on, it's time to go hunting! Get out there and scour the web for the stupidest, … Continue reading Pick a Side
nightmare
Party Time With Permanent T-Shirt Decal Enthusiasts
Party Goers: *Start talking about their tattoos* Me: “Oh look, there’s dip over there. I’ll be right back.” (I’m not coming back.) THE END
Muse Vassal 