Category: Uncategorized

A Good Year

When people talk about enjoying a nice cold beer or a glass of wine with dinner, I really have no fucking clue what the hell they're talking about. Being sober, what I really miss about alcohol is getting so shitfaced that I come to the next day wedged under my sofa with a bunch of … Continue reading A Good Year →

“White Men Built This Country!”

Well, not literally for the most part, but I take your point. They were the psychotic captains of industry who made it all happen. But, so what? Yeah, you’re a white man, but what the fuck do your ancestors’ achievements have to do with you? What the fuck have you built? (Besides an AR15 and … Continue reading “White Men Built This Country!” →

My New Spirit Anus

by Balls Malone While inspecting high definition photos of gorgeous, dead-eyed, Slavic women showing off their shaved anuses (it's so hard not to when online these days, isn't it?), I had a kind of out-of-body experience where it felt like I became this woman's anus in an emotional sense. My soul was now her anus … Continue reading My New Spirit Anus →

Aged

Is there anything that doesn't become bittersweet? Joyous times, shared with love and cherished companions; we think they'll last forever. We tell each other, “we'll come back again next time! I can't wait to do this again!” Perhaps we actually do so. For a time. But someday will be the last. And then it is … Continue reading Aged →

On Smartphones

I recently had an exchange with a close friend that condensed some nebulous feelings I've been having into annoyance acute enough to distill into this. Such is my process. My friend discovered that I don't have a smartphone. I never thought this was a big deal, but rather than treating the revelation with the same … Continue reading On Smartphones →