So I'm having a zoom English lesson today. Me in a room by myself at a laptop. Somewhere around eight or nine kids, between the ages of two and seven, in three separate households are participating in this thing. Forty minutes, I have to fill. So this is my life now. Okay. Let's get it … Continue reading Covid Work Diaries
Category: Uncategorized
Bible Stories For Today’s Youth – Abraham & Isaac
read also: Bible Stories For Today's Youth - Noah's Ark Bible Stories For Today's Youth - Christ's Nadir on the Cross So one day God creeps up on Abraham and is all like, “Yo, slut! Here I am! Guess what, bitch?” And Abraham was straight freaking, but he was still all like, “I don't know, … Continue reading Bible Stories For Today’s Youth – Abraham & Isaac
Boy, the so-called first world certainly doesn't seem to be capable of coping with the fairly routine reality of "sometimes shit goes wrong and people die" that the rest of the world live on a daily basis. Just saying.
If Trump isn't careful they're not going to be able to put him on the dollar bill until his fourth term in office.
Career
When people tell you that you should turn what you love into your job, I would be really careful about following that advice. I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying to have a look at the practicalities and make an informed decision. If you love fine art and painting, this does not mean you … Continue reading Career
Yum Yum
I have an inner disco daddy. His name is Yum Yum. Yum Yum gets down in the club with grooves so funky that people get high just from breathing near him. Who's the cool cat that all the young gay boys want to get penetrated by? Yum Yum! Behold Yum Yum, striding long, his plush … Continue reading Yum Yum
Companion
Do you remember when you were little, there was that place you were afraid of? A crawlspace in your house, or under the basement stairs. Or perhaps in the back yard or the woods nearby; a little nook under some bushes that only a child could reach. You were afraid of that place, and you … Continue reading Companion
Temporal Onanism
It is depressing to me that I have yet to be visited and given a blowjob by my future self. This means one of two things: either time travel does not get invented in my lifetime, or future me is a selfish asshole. The act of giving oral sex is very much like other gift … Continue reading Temporal Onanism
Asshole
When you find yourself saying that people need to get a sense of humor, or are too easily offended these days, you are probably an asshole. This doesn’t mean you’re wrong: they probably are easily offended and do need to get a sense of humor. And you’re an asshole. These are not mutually exclusive. It’s … Continue reading Asshole
Millennials are Garbage
So, millennials, huh? What went wrong there? And golly, Enid, those flappers sure were a real menace, what with their reefer and jazz music and sex in motorcars. And then with the beatniks! And don't get me started on those dirty hippies! Punks! The world is going to hell in a handbasket! Hmmm, now that … Continue reading Millennials are Garbage
Muse Vassal 