Table of Contents – (spoilers)
Peep and Pinch crept around the little spring-fed pool in the forest under the teamster cabin’s hunting blind. Somewhere above them was the cabin, although they had yet to see it. Pinch led the way, his hunting bow out in front of him with an arrow notched. Peep followed, her shortbow held likewise.
The little path up to the blind was steep, but had flat rocks and logs set into the earth to make stable steps. They were up at the blind in no time. There was a bit of a shelf with a fine view of the pool and the forest sloping away below it. There was a rough wooden bench for seating. The footpath continued on up the steep slope to what looked to be another natural terrace about fifty meters up to the east.
Pinch and Peep hunkered down at the blind and listened carefully. Down at the pool, they had been able to clearly hear a man singing and shouting, along with what sounded like two women. Now, however, all above was silent.
“He’s fuckin. Gotta be, with all that shit he was talking,” Peep whispered to Pinch with a smirk. “Now’s perfect. Get him with his pants down.
Pinch nodded, but then hesitated.
“What if there’s more guys up there? He did say it was a party,” Pinch said.
Peep sighed through her nose.
“He’s got two hoors and a jug of potato wine. That’s the fuckin party. But, yeah, there could be someone else up there with him. It’s possible. But I think we woulda heard them by now,” she said.
“Okay. But what if there are? There could be more guys up there than we can handle.”
“Yeah… okay. So, if there are, we start shooting. We kill as many as we can, and then we fall back down the trail here. Stop here and jack anyone that’s dumb enough to follow. Alright?”
Pinch nodded. Then he flinched.
“So we’re killing whoever’s up there. Even though we’re not one-hundred percent sure it’s Butters,” he said.
Peep blinked slowly at him for a bit before responding: “Dood. Are ye losing yar fuckin nerve here? Even if it aint Butters, the fucker up there killed Henri and the other hoor. So what’s the fuckin problem? If yar that worried, we can fuck off back to town and do it proper with everybody tomorrow morning. Yar call. But I thought ye had a real hard-on to kill this fucker yarself. So are we doing that, or not?”
“Okay, then. We’re doing it,” he said.
“Right. After you,” Peep said, gesturing up the trail with her notched arrow.
Pinch waited just a little while more before taking a deep breath and heading up the path. This one took less of an extreme angle up the slope and was easier going. When they were about to reach the next terrace, there was a loud groan from up above.
“Ohhhh yeah, that’s it. Hail to the king, baby,” the man above growled. He was no longer yelling, but they were much closer to him now, so could hear him clearly.
Just a few meters from the terrace, Pinch stopped for a moment to catch his breath and settle himself. Then, before he could lose his nerve, Pinch readjusted his grip on his bow and went up the rest of the way.
The terrace above was a clearing, mostly flat, just big enough for a fine, large cabin. There was even a rough lean-to on the one side offering shelter for two horses. The cabin had a small patio in front of it with a stone firepit and some wooden chairs. Under the overhang of the cabin’s roof, a long workbench was set along the wall. From the bench’s stains, it looked like it had long been used to butcher meat on.
Leaning with his back against the bench was a man receiving oral sex from two women. However, just at that moment, only one of the woman was actively working on him, while the other was sitting beside her on the ground, waiting to be reincorporated. The man’s eyes were closed and his head was lolling back as he grabbed the woman sucking him by the hair to thrust into her face with quite an ungentlemanly vigor.
The man was wearing only an old, stained and tattered tunic, along with his boots. On the bench near him was a clutter of his belongings, including a large potato wine jug. A crossbow and quiver were within reach, but the bow was unloaded. A weaponbelt with a shortsword and knife on it was visible under breeches and cloak. His roundshield and spear were leaning against the bench next to the cabin door, well out of his reach.
Pinch and then Peep both crept up off the path and onto the patio, making almost no noise. Pinch squared up behind his bow, no more than four meters from the man. Peep slowly moved laterally away from Pinch to his right, along the edge of the patio to get a better angle on the cabin’s door. There was no one else in view.
The woman sitting on the ground next to her compatriot at work finally looked up and saw first Peep, and then Pinch.
“Oh, it’s you again,” she said calmly.
“Huh?” the man said, his head rolling forward as his eyes opened. “Oh, fu—” he just managed, before Pinch shot him.
Pinch hit him high in the stomach, about midway between his navel and solar plexus. The sound of the arrow hitting him was loud.
“Oh,” the man gasped. He dropped the woman, who flopped down on her ass and gaped at the arrow fletching just above her face.
The man was still standing with his slobbery erection wilting, staring at the arrow transfixing him. Then he let out a long wheeze as he collapsed to the ground, gripping the arrow as he did.
Wide eyed, both women stayed seated, but turned to look up at Pinch and Peep. The women were both wearing dresses, but the tops had been loosened to have their breasts out.
“Okay, girls,” Peep said quietly. “Anyone else here we should know about? Was it just him?”
They both nodded in unison.
“Okay. We’re here to save ye, so don’t do anything stupid. Go sit in them chairs,” Peep gestured with her head, keeping her bow trained on the cabin door.
The two women did as they were told.
“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!” the man screamed. Curled up in the fetal position, the arrowhead could be seen protruding from his back.
Peep moved over to the cabin door and quickly looked inside. She then nodded to Pinch.
“It’s just him,” she said.
“Eeeee-eeeee-eeeee!” the man squealed.
Peep walked over to him and stepped on his neck, cutting off his sounds with a gurgle.
“Shut up,” she told him. “Ye make any more noise and I’ll cut yar fuckin eyes out and give ye a reason to scream. Ye hear me!”
The man could only wheeze and gurgle. Peep kept standing on his throat.
“So, what are we doing now, man?” she asked Pinch.
Pinch stood where he was, still precisely where he had taken the shot from, and stared down at the man.
“Ye hit him low, man. Coulda hit the hoor. So, what’s the plan, then, buddy? Ye wanna take yar time with it, I guess?” Peep asked.
The man under her boot finally began to struggle. He wriggled and twisted around to slide his neck free.
“Fuck off,” Peep said tiredly. She reached down to grab the shaft of the arrow in his gut just under the flights, and yanked it to the side. This elicited an agonized yowl from him. She let go of the arrow and stomped him in the mouth with the heel of her boot, cracking several of his teeth off into his mouth.
“Shut the fuck up, I said!” she yelled down at him. She then stepped away from him and looked at Pinch expectantly. “So? It’s yar fuckin show here, man. Let’s finish it up, huh?”
“Well… don’t we wanna ask him anything? Find out if he’s, ye know, who we’re after?”
“What does that fuckin matter right now? We’ll find it out later when Choke sees his head. But, okay, if yar that fuckin worried about it.” Peep turned to the women, who were still sitting in patio chairs with their breasts hanging out, calmly watching them: “What’s this guy’s story? What did he do?”
The women looked at each other to see who was going to be their spokesperson. They settled this quickly, and the taller, thinner woman spoke up:
“He come to the camp yesterday morning, I guess, and paid for some time with all three of us. Then, once that was done, he killed Henri and Paige and brought us here on his horse.”
“Okay. And did he tell ye anything about himself? He seemed pretty talkative,” asked Peep.
“Yeah, he wouldn’t shut up.”
“Did ye get a name?”
“Nah. He said we should call him, milord. He did say that he used to be a soldier in the King’s army, but that he told them to shove it up their ass when he killed a jink officer with his crossbow, just the same as he did Henri. We asked him if that were the same jink that we seen kill the Chisel and all his men. Him along with the two of ye, and the real big fella, I suppose. And he said that was so. He also said that he could put the eye outta a sparrow with that crossbow of his, so we’d best not get any ideas about running. I didn’t think much of that, since all he done with it that we seen was shoot Henri in the back point-blank. But he did open up Paige with his knife pretty handy. So we was going along with him. And then ye showed up.”
“Right. Ye two were at Tully’s when we took it down. Well, good to see ye again, I guess,” Peep said with a smirk.
“Likewise, I’m sure, milady,” the woman said back, deadpan.
“Yeah, watch yarself with that smart shit. I’m in no mood. And I got less than no use for hoors,” Peep said. She then looked over at Pinch: “Okay, are ye satisfied? This is fuckin Butters. So let’s get on with it, huh?”
“Okay. But are you sure we don’t want to take him in for questioning?”
“Oh, for fuck sakes, Pinch! Question him about what? What d’ye think he can tell us? If he knew where Sneed is, he’d be with him. So, what else d’ye think he’s got? Father M took down everyone above him in Spitzer already. So if ye wanna fuckin torture him, go right ahead. We don’t need to think up a fuckin reason. But let’s get on with it. It’s gonna get dark soon.”
Pinch looked up from Butters curled up on the ground, whimpering through his smashed mouth. Peep met Pinch’s eye and held it, measuring him, curious at his reluctance to finish this.
“Right,” Pinch said. He drew his short sword and stepped over top of Butters.
“Nooo! I’ll tell ye—” Butters managed as he reached up with a bloody hand to paw at Pinch’s leg.
Pinch stabbed Butters through the side of his neck, severing the carotid artery and jugular vein, as well as the windpipe. It was just the same way that Knuckle had finished the bandit that Pinch had gutshot that day when they had ambushed Peep and her fellow bandits. Hot, arterial blood squirted up his arm and spattered his face.
Pinch stepped back and he, Peep, and the two women watched Butters die. It did not take too long. Once he was gone, Pinch set his bow down on a chair and picked up Butters’ cloak from the workbench. He wiped his blade off carefully with it and sheathed it before wiping his hands and face. Then he dropped the cloak to cover Butters’ corpse.
“So, now what?” Pinch asked Peep.
“Well, that’s something to think about. I guess the easiest thing would be to cut his head off, hop on them horses, and head on back. But that’s a bit rude, I suppose. Leaving the body here like that. But I can’t be arsed to bury it, neither.”
“And what about them?” Pinch gestured at the women, who were still watching them calmly.
“What about em? What say you, girls? What’s yar plan now?” Peep asked the women.
They looked at each other and then looked back towards Peep and shrugged in unison.
“I guess yar telling us what’s what, aint ye?” the taller one spoke up again.
“No. Ye can do as ye please,” Peep said.
“We need to get them back to the church. To give their evidence. And they require our protection. They have been captives. Their friend was murdered,” Pinch said.
Peep shrugged. “If ye say so.”
“Well, what else?” Pinch snapped at her.
“Look, I aint arguing with ye. We’ll do it yar way. But it’s gonna be getting dark right away. We only got two horses. We could double up with them, but then we’re leaving the body here. We could take the head and leave the rest of it, but, ye know, that aint gonna be great, so we’ll have to come back for it anyways,” Peep said. She stepped over Butters’ body and started going through his things on the workbench.
“Well we’re not leaving them here alone,” Pinch said. “We should double up with the women on the horses and leave the body here. We’ll all come back here tomorrow and get it.”
Peep grunted receipt of having heard Pinch. She pulled a small money pouch free of Butters’ breeches on the workbench and dumped its contents out with a scowl.
“Where’s the rest of his fuckin money at?” Peep demanded of the women. “He paid for the time with ye and then robbed Henri of all of his, right? This can’t be all of it. Where’d he keep his money?”
“He had it in his saddlebag,” the spokeswoman said after a short hesitation, looking sour as she did. It was the first trace of emotion she had shown.
“That’s in the cabin, I guess?” Peep asked.
“Yeah, with the saddles.”
Peep nodded and went into the cabin.
“Were you listening to me, Peep? I said we need to double up with the women and get them back to town!” Pinch called after her.
He moved over to the cabin door. Peep was inside, dumping saddlebags out onto the floor. A leather satchel hit the floor with a heavy thump.
“Fuckin A. Here it is!” Peep said happily as she scooped it up. She unlaced it to have a look inside. “Nice. Score! Butters was a bad boy! This has to be his whole fuckin take from years of Outfit bullshit.”
Peep came out of the cabin with a wide grin, holding the open satchel out to Pinch for him to see inside. There were four coin purses inside, of varying sizes. Peep reached in and gave them each a poke or flick. They were full.
“We aint busting all that out to count it now,” Peep whispered to Pinch. As she continued speaking, Peep loosened her vest of brigandine armor enough to stuff the satchel up against her stomach. She then tightened the straps back down again over what seemed a comical gut. “Not in front of them two, and with daylight burning. I’ll hold onto it until we can divvy it up with Knuckle and Choke. We’ll give them a cut, right? Yeah, we kinda gotta. Even though, by rights, it should be just to you and me.”
Pinch shook his head with a scowl. “I’m not sure that’s how it works now that we’re, ye know, with the kingdom and all. But that’s not important right now. Did ye hear what I said? We need to—”
“Yeah, yeah. I know,” Peep interrupted. “We need to get them two back to town. I know I brought that up, but I aint feeling it now. Even on horses, doubled up with them two, who I’m sure aint shit on a horse, on these fuckin trails, we aint getting back to town before dark.”
“Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. So we’ll all stay here tonight?” Pinch asked.
Peep shook her head. “We do that and Choke’s gonna lay an egg thinking we got killed out here. He’ll probably do something stupid. No. What we’re doing is: yar gonna stay here with them two and Butters, and I’m gonna ride back to town and deliver the news. Then we’ll come back first thing tomorrow morning with horses and a mule to get this whole shitshow back to town. Right? Right,” Peep finished definitively as she strode over to the lean-to where the horses were tethered.
“Ahhh… what?” Pinch asked, shooting a panicked look over at the two women.
“Look man, it’s the only way it’s gonna work. It’s gonna be dark soon. One of us has to go back and one has to stay. And, I figure, I’m better in the bush and have Stron’s fire to back me up, just in case. And, well, ye know, yar gonna have a better time here than I would,” Peep said as she looked the two horses over.
She selected one of them and let it out of the little lean-to pen. As she led it out through the patio, she saw the look on Pinch’s face and burst out laughing.
“Oh, man! Okay… yeah,” she said.
Peep looked over at the two women. They were now smiling at Pinch with their backs arched to present their breasts to him. Peep leaned over to look at the coins she had dumped on the workbench from Butters’ small belt pouch.
“Yeah, that’ll do. Okay, girls!” Peep addressed the women. They both turned their attention to her. “The coins here are yars. That might go some way to paying for what this fucker here took from ye for free.”
“Thank ye, miss,” the spokeswoman said, as the other one nodded emphatically.
“Yar welcome. Now, I want ye to be nice to Sergeant Nikolas here. He’s gonna protect ye tonight. He’s an important man here in town, and he saved ye from that creep there. So, don’t do anything shady. Cook him something to eat, and be as nice as ye can to him tonight. Tomorrow morning I’m coming back here with the rest of our people. If the sergeant here is happy, then we’ll pay ye some more for yar trouble. Ye understand?”
“Yes, miss. We are ever so grateful for both of ye saving us. We’ll be as nice as can be. If that’s what he likes,” the woman giggled.
“Look… uhhh. Peep. Ye don’t, ahhhh…” Pinch babbled.
“Shut the fuck up man. Ye earned it. Have fun. See ye tomorrow morning.”
Peep hopped up onto the horse bareback and rode out on the main trail.
Muse Vassal 