We here at GloboFruit know that you are eager to start using your EarToons account. To activate your account please drop your pants, bend over, and present your anus to your device’s camera for identification purposes.
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We are sorry, the picture you took was unclear. Please be sure to spread your ass cheeks so that your anus can be clearly identified.
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We are sorry, the picture you took was unclear. Please be sure to spread your ass cheeks so that your anus can be clearly identified.
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Thank you! Your account has been activated. Please keep in mind that we will require further anus identification pictures at random intervals in the future to ensure the continued security of your account.