Going to take that first piss in the morning, brain still foggy with dreams. One of life’s simple pleasures.
Suddenly, my pee stream bisects; both streams are perfectly missing the toilet. Crisis! Must immediately decide whether to continue pissing on the floor with both streams, or to get one in the toilet, sending the other onto a wall (whichever I choose, since being a Japanese setup, it’s a toilet in a tiny room all to itself).
Like Afghanistan, there can be no happy solution.
Much as that country’s invaders, past and present, I totally fuck everything up by attempting all three possible solutions, one after another, in quick succession. I thus ensure that while no one area is completely drenched in piss, everywhere gets a nice sprinkling.
If only I could just fuck off at this point and leave the toilet to deal with this itself. Sadly, this is not Afghanistan, and I am no imperial power.