table of contents – (spoilers)
After the hard day’s training, Choke decided to reward the men with an extra ration of ale that evening at dinner. It was well received.
While the men ate, Choke, Peep, Pinch, and Knuckle took their dinner in the small dining room. Once they were well into it, Peep leaned in:
“Okay, here’s the real shit, now. Yer gonna hear it, and take it, and keep any shit ye got to say about it to yarselves. Right?” Peep said, briefly meeting Pinch’s eye before giving Knuckle a long, hard look.
“Of course, Peep,” Pinch said.
“Sure. Yeah. Fuck it,” Knuckle growled.
“Good. So, yeah, ye were right. I cut a deal with Diya. She didn’t kill us and let us leave Bristlenook. We aint going back there. That, and keeping quiet about her being nice to us is our part. That’s it. For her part, she said she would keep a wide lookout and send us word when Sneed is heading back this way. She told me where his two guys, Kerl and Dane are from. That’s the place Sneed’s crew was holed up before. It’s a holler called Gorefield. Clan in there is named the same. They’re right up against the Moondark, in swampland northeast of the end of the North Ridge.”
Peep paused here to let Knuckle and Pinch process this. Pinch had resumed eating already and met her eye stoically. Knuckle had been engaging in some aggressive nose-breathing, but he seemed to be managing. Peep continued:
“I told Barrelmender everything. He approves. We can’t deal with Sneed and his crew and Diya and hers at the same time. We take down Sneed, then we worry about Diya. One thing at a time. She aint our friend, and we aint doing her any favors. She’s stepping aside and giving us a shot at Sneed. That’s it.”
“Okay,” Pinch said. “And you trust her?”
“On this deal, yes. We shook on it and my brand pulsed her. She got a dose of the Holy Fire. She knows that we need to be able to fight what’s coming. She’s been getting the same gobo apocalypse dreams as everyone. And she aint a fan of Sneed or the Outfit. She’ll hold her end.”
“Okay, then,” Pinch said.
Peep nodded and looked to Knuckle. “Knuckle?”
“Sure. Whatever. Can I eat now?”
“Go ahead, man,” Peep answered with a grin.
“So, what’s our next move,” Pinch asked.
“Glad ye asked, Pinch. Because it’s you and me on this one. I wanna go and scout this Gorefield place. See what there is to work with out there. Lay of the land, at least. We need to be real quiet about it, so that’ll be just you and me.”
“When?”
Peep looked to Choke. “I was thinking tomorrow.”
Choke nodded. “That makes sense. The sooner the better.”
“Right. So leaving before first light. Diya said the ridge ends about five clicks north of Bristlenook. Then Gorefield is about two more clicks up a crick from that. I wanna be past Bristlenook before the lumberjacks head out that way,” Peep said.
“Alright. Sounds good. Let’s do it,” Pinch said.
***
The next morning, Peep and Pinch rode out as the first roosters were starting their crowing. With the previous day having been such heavy training, and with Pinch and Peep gone, Choke decided to keep the day’s duty light and close to home.
A small squad of their best builders were tasked to get started on repairing the palisade with the lumber they had cleared from around it. This was under Knuckle’s supervision. The rest were formed into squads to guard and patrol the town. Two larger squads were on each gate, with one smaller one on patrol through the town. A final squad was taken by Choke himself to patrol the areas immediately around the palisade and down the Cowslip to Tully’s. Men from the different guard and patrol squads were rotated between different duties throughout the day. Everything went smoothly.
Lunch was staggered, with only one squad at a time taking it while the others continued patrolling. After all had eaten, they continued on in the afternoon just as they had in the morning. As the men became more comfortable with this duty, Choke put his patrolling squad under Corporal Dom and posted them across the Crotch on the crossroads of the Spitzer Road with the Cowslip and Bristlenook trails. This put them right next to the teamster’s freight yard, and seemed to agitate a few of the teamsters. Bob and Klim soon came out of their cottage office to glower at them, but soon yelled at their men to keep working and went back inside.
With all the squads set, Choke took to moving between them on horseback. He lectured each group on the mandate of their duty; how they were there to protect and police the good Stronians of Bristlehump. Lawbreakers were to be apprehended with as little violence as possible and taken to the church. Any unusual happenings or strangers must be reported. Any soldier taking advantage of townsfolk would be severely punished. Building trust and rapport with the people was critical.
It was mid-afternoon when the north gate bell sounded an alert. Choke was in the town square having a word with the merchants who had been out gossiping about the soldiers’ unusual behavior of doing their duty. Choke took his leave, tipping his helmet, and rode up to the gate. There, Shasta was bantering with Knuckle, who had come down the palisade to respond to the alert.
“Oh, is that a promise?” Shasta cackled at Knuckle, making a performative attempt to reach up under the hem of his chainmail. “Oh, here’s the Lieutenant. Hey, Lieutenant! How’s it going?”
“Well enough, ma’am. How are you?” Choke asked
“Better than a few, a lot worse than most. I’d complain, but who wants to hear it?”
“Not me,” Knuckle laughed.
“Thank you, Sergeant. I think I can take it from here,” Choke said, giving a nod towards the work crew down the way, who were now lounging.
“Yes, sir!” Knuckle stiffened up and saluted properly, before turning smartly and marching back to his post as though on parade.
Shasta giggled like a teenager at his performance.
“Is there something I can help you with, ma’am?” Choke asked with a sigh. He dismounted and handed his reins off to the nearest soldier.
The gates were, of course, open, and the men posted to them had been ordered to allow locals to pass freely through without challenge, so the alert being rung meant that Shasta must have requested it.
“Yeah. I need a word. Otilla aint around, is she?” Shasta asked, glancing around nervously.
“Not at present, no. Do you need to speak to her, ma’am?”
“Oh, hell no! Yar the one I’m here to talk to. I need some, whad’ye call it? Some clarity on what we’re doing here.”
“Alright. Please, come this way, ma’am.”
Choke took Shasta to the barracks’ dining room. She decline his offer of stugroot or water with a look of disgust.
“Don’t ye got anything stronger?”
Once she was settled in with her ale, she finally got to her point:
“Okay, now, Lieutenant, Otilla was clear with me. I gotta stay away from Cornelius and that Wilson place is hers for her people. I got that. So I aint complaining on that regard. But, there’s the question of the other properties I’m meant to be managing…” she drifted off significantly.
Choke sighed. “What question might that be, ma’am?”
“Hey, now. What’s with all this ma’am talk, Lieutenant? What am I to you? I should be a Miss at the very least, shouldn’t I?”
“Well, ma’am, you are the widow of your children’s father, are you not? That is what we settled on in this arrangement, I believe. So, ma’am would be the appropriate form of address. Unless you would prefer I call you Mrs something or another.”
“Oh hell no! So, ma’am it is, I guess. You’re no fun at all, Lieutenant,” Shasta said playfully, casting him a coy look. With her being the woman she was, the girlish affect was unsettling.
“I am glad you think so, ma’am. So, what is this visit about, then?”
“Look, Lieutenant… or can I call you Choke? That is yar handle, aint it?”
“I would prefer Bartholomew, if you prefer to be informal, ma’am.”
“Come on now! Choke is such an intriguing handle. I was hoping you could show me why they call you that,” Shasta said breathlessly, stroking her neck before running her hand down the front of what Choke noticed in sudden alarm was a rather low-cut and finely spun linen dress.
“No!” Choke barked in panic, standing up from the table.
“Okay, okay. Bart it is, then. Sit down, Bart. Sit down! What a silly you are! I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“Okay, but can we please get to the point of this visit, ma’am?” Choke pleaded as he sat back down.
“Call me Shasta, please.”
“No, ma’am. That’s enough now. What it is you want?” Choke demanded with forced gravity.
“Okay, fine, then. So, I need to talk to you, or someone, about the Church properties and their rents,” Shasta said, clearly quite irritated by Choke’s rebuff.
“Thank you. What about them?”
“Well, we have about a dozen places and—”
“I’m sorry,” Choke interrupted, “what do you mean, ‘about’ a dozen? Don’t you know how many?”
“I haven’t sat down and counted, no. But I know who they are. My point is, they are now planting their crops and all that. So, we’re going to need to figure out what they are setting up to bring in, so that any shortfalls on our share can be made up with forage, and the like.”
Choke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“First of all, ma’am, it is not ‘our’ share. It is the Church’s. Secondly, what do you mean ‘we’ need to figure this out. Isn’t that precisely your job?”
“Oh! Thank you! Thank you, Mister jink monk turned army man, sitting so high and mighty like the lord of the manor over us lowly serfs! Your lordship! Pardon my impudence, your lordship, but I am just a bit concerned. Yes? Because it was not much more than a week ago, after the good and righteous Brother Barrelmender, our magistrate, thrashed my legs with a stick until I couldn’t walk, that ye brought that bandit slut killer around to my place to threaten me further! Yes? And on that day, she said that yar man, Sergeant Nikolas, would come around to figure out with me what properties there are and what the Church share of them will be and all that. And I am here to tell you that he aint been around. And that it’s time to take a reckoning of the tenants’ plans for this planting season. Yes? So, if yar lot are fine to let me do as I normally would, without yar oh-so-lawful oversight, then I’ll go ahead and do that. But, if that’s the case, come harvest and rent time, I don’t wanna be hearing griping about what’s been brought in, and what allotment of that has found its way into my stores. If yar lordship can be merciful enough to understand my position in all of this!”
Shasta finished her tirade by draining the rest of her ale mug and slamming it down on the table. She then crossed her arms in front of her, creating a platform for her huge, pendulous breasts. Their saucer nipples poked aggressively through the fine linen top at Choke as she glowered at him.
“Ah. Right. Yes,” Choke babbled, rubbing his face as he attempted to rally himself. “Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention.”
“So, is he here?” Shasta demanded.
“Who? Barrelmender?”
“No! Sergeant Nikolas, ye stuttering prick! Which one is he? He aint the huge lug with the face that looks like a troll’s chew toy, is he?”
“No. That’s Sergeant Theodas. Nikolas is the smaller one.”
“Oh, him? Alright, then. He’s kinda little, but he is a cutie. I can work with that,” Shasta said, mostly to herself as she leered off into a middle distance.
“Oh, Stron preserve us,” Choke murmured, quickly tracing the Wheel over his breast to ward off Shasta’s evil.
“So he aint here, then? So what am I meant to be doing? Where is he?”
“He’s on— No, I’m sorry. He’s not here.”
“When is he coming back? I’m supposed to just sit around here at yar beck and call like a dog? Waiting for yar lot to get yar shit together? Like my time aint worth nothing? I’ll have ye know, that I’m—”
“I do know, ma’am! I understand. I am sorry we did not follow up with you about the rents. That is my fault. I apologize. So, please, go back home and proceed with your duties as you normally would. Please. As soon as possible, I will send Sergeant Nikolas to you. Okay?” Choke asked plaintively.
“Oh, ye’ll send him, will ye? Wow! So high and mighty! I’m sure I’m looking forward to that! What’s that little sergeant’s name again?”
“Nikolas.”
“Not that one. What’s his handle?”
Choke sighed deeply. “Pinch.”
“Pinch!” Shasta hooted. “Pinch! So, let me get this straight! The three of ye are called: Choke, Knuckle, and Pinch? That’s a lively session right there! Too bad yar such a dud! And where, pray tell, are Slap and Tickle? They get lost on the way from Pekot?”
“Yes, thank you. It’s very funny to you, I am sure,” Choke sighed.
“Oh, it is!” Shasta chortled, slapping her knee. She then belched and pushed her empty beer mug towards Choke. “This is a bit dry, though.”
“Really?”
“Hey!” Shasta stabbed her finger at Choke. “Yar the one that made me hump all the way up here to ride ye about doing yar job! The least ye could do is be hospitable! Yar lot never wanted for it when ye were harassing me and mine at my place!”
“I… ah… Yes. I’m sorry,” Choke took her cup and hurried to the kitchen to refill it.
“And get one for yarself while yar at it! Lighten up a bit!”
Choke brought back her mug of ale, along with a cup of water for himself. She took note of it with a miffed sniff.
“Well, cheers. I suppose,” Shasta grumbled, raising her mug Choke’s way as he sat down. “So, what’s up yar ass, anyways?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am? What’s this now?”
“All this shit! Bringing water here while I’m drinking ale. Having everyone marching around like a bunch of ants. All this soldier bullshit. Say what ye like about Dixon, at least he knew how to have a good time!”
Choke had to take a moment before he could respond to this:
“Excuse me? Soldier bullshit? Dixon? If anyone exemplified soldier bullshit, it was him! What are you talking about? Where do you think we are?” Choke shouted, finally dropping his attempt at courtesy to give vent to his anger at this woman.
“Me? Whad’re you talking about, fool? Ye think we need ye to protect us? We’ve been perfectly safe this last while with Dixon hooring it up. We don’t need all this stick-up-ass, pompous, toy-soldier bullshit,” Shasta cackled at him gleefully.
“Ma’am! How dare you! How dare you!” Choke slammed his hand down on the table, spilling his cup of water.
Shasta saw the move coming and retrieved her mug of beer just in time. She eased back in her chair with a smug look to sip on it as Choke launched into a tirade of his own:
“The only reason! The only reason this place was safe during Dixon’s command was that it was fully under the thumb of evil men and demon-worshiping heretics! This was made possible due to the apathy and dereliction of Brother Barrelmender! And you! You! You have been, in large part, responsible for his state! How dare you!”
Rather than respond to this in anger, as might be expected, Shasta’s eyes lit up in delight.
“Oh, there ye are, finally! Nice to finally meet ye, Choke! But I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: yar Brother there was broke long before he met me.”
Choke took a moment to breathe deeply before responding:
“Ma’am. I understand this. And I do not want to overstate the case. But, do you honestly believe that you had no hand in his complete unravelling here? Do you not think that if he had been allowed the space to resume productive service to Stron and this community, that he might not have risen to the challenge?”
Shasa’s head lolled back as she made a loud snoring noise. “Blah, blah, blah! Quack, quack, quack! You are so fuckin boring! I thought that the big forest slut getting her hands on yar cock mighta loosened ye up a bit.”
Choke stared at Shasta as he fought to control the killing rage rising up in him.
Shasta cast him a sultry gaze as she sipped a little more of her ale.
“Ye wanna shut me up, Lieutenant? Why don’t ye come over here and do that? Show me what them big hands of yars can do. Show me why they named ye Choke.”
Shasta and Choke shared a long moment across the table. Only one of them had the faintest notion of what was happening between them.
There was a loud knock on the outside door of the dining room.
“Sorry, Lieutenant!” a man shouted from outside. “South gate alert bell rung! Sir!”
Choke traced another Wheel over his breast as he inwardly thanked Stron for his mercy. He stood up.
“Duty calls,” he said, looking above Shasta’s head to the wall behind her.
“Of course it does. Just when we were really getting somewhere. To be continued, then,” Shasta sighed before draining the rest of her ale. She grunted as she stood up.
Choke opened the door and looked to the man standing at attention outside.
“Thank you, soldier. I’ll be out to attend to it right away.”
Choke returned the man’s salute and stepped aside from the door, gesturing in a rather abrupt motion that Shasta should leave.
“Alright, alright. Hold yar horses. I’m coming! I can tell when I’m not wanted!”
“Really? If that’s the case, then you certainly don’t seem to mind it,” Choke responded as Shasta made her way to the door.
“Hey!” Shasta snapped her finger in Choke’s face. “Don’t get smart with me! I won’t be talked down to by the likes of you, no matter how much ye’ve puffed yarself up.”
“No. That’s enough. Do you know what, ma’am? I am the one who advocated for you to keep your position as parish manager. Only me. On account of your children. Without me standing up for you, Barrelmender would have done as he saw fit. And whatever you may think of it, I am Bristlehump’s apparitor and the commander of its garrison. So, in future, you will treat me with the respect I deserve, or I will have to rethink this situation!”
Shasta affected a comically frightened look as she moved past Choke out the door. When she turned back to him, she was all sneer:
“Yap, yap, yap! Big talk. We both know ye won’t bite, puppy. But it’s been good to see ye snarl. Until next time!”
Shasta gave Choke a coy wave and lumbered her way to the gate where she paused to look around. She soon spotted Knuckle with his work crew on the palisade and yoo-hooed him as she moved on him with a very saucy swish in her step.
“Altas preserve us,” Choke moaned.
However, there was no time to worry about what trouble this move of Shasta’s might entail. Choke hurried back to the gate to mount Nike and head to the south gate to check on the alert.
Muse Vassal 