Table of Contents – (spoilers)
In the church pews, Choke and Peep sat down with Annica and Mya, the women they had rescued. Annica, the woman who had done almost all the talking to that point, was sitting in a pointedly inattentive pose, like a sassy schoolchild. Her compatriot, Mya, while clearly tired, was focusing most of her attention on Choke, watching him carefully for some kind of cue on how to handle him.
“First of all, ladies, thank you for joining us. I know you’ve had a hard time of it. I appreciate whatever help you might be able to give us,” Choke said.
Annica snorted in derision as Mya was opening her mouth to respond.
“Yar the lot that landed us in the hard time. Coming in as ye did to kill our man. And now yar expecting us to grateful for saving us from the assholes that ye set loose to run wild? That’s rich,” Annica said.
“You said something to that effect earlier. Your man would be Tully, I assume,” Choke said.
“That’s right. And he was good to us girls. Took good care of us. And ye came here and killed him and left us for the wolves. And I aint one to let that pass.”
“Well, it’s a good thing yar just a fuckin no account hoor then, aint it,” Peep interjected, leaning forward out of her pew with a creak of leather as she gripped her shortsword hilt. “Yar man Tully was running with them that were coming for our hides. So he got what was coming to him.”
Annica met Peep’s eye with hot anger. She managed to hold it for just a second before flinching and looking down. Her face contorted as she swallowed her fury.
“I beg yar pardon, Miss Otilla,” Mya said, her voice quavering just a little, “but I reckon ye got Tully wrong. I mean, it’s true that all them Outfit boys were there at his place, fixing to come after ye. But Tully weren’t with them! He wasn’t! What choice did he have but to do what they wanted?”
“Oh, is that so?” Peep laughed “Who d’ye think yar talking to, girl? I didn’t fall off a turnip cart just yesterday. Tully’s two sons were big in that crew. They all got what was coming to them. And that’s all the debate I’m willing to have with the both of ye. Ye made it outta there alive. So count yarselves lucky. And as to what evil befalls the hoors of the world when the winds shift around them, I couldn’t give a squirt of piss.”
Peep looked from one woman to the other for a long moment. They each met her eye briefly before looking away: Mya a little sadly, and Annica with some edge still to her. Peep eased back in her pew and slid into a lounging posture. When she spoke, her voice was friendly:
“Now. I see where yar coming from. I do. And I even respect ye for yar loyalty to Tully, as fucked up as I think that is. But the both of ye need to think now. However ye feel about everything, what’s done is done. We’re here. So, if yar planning on sticking around, it might be in yar interest to ease up on yar bullshit and help us out a bit. One hand washes the other, after all. Right?”
Annica looked sharply at Peep.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“Whad’ye think it means? You help us out, and we help you out,” Peep answered.
“And what makes you think we need yar help?”
“I dunno. What’s yar plan? You planning on heading up to Bristlenook? Join them other women in Thickmeat Thad’s church of the eternal boner?”
Both Annica and Mya giggled at this, although Annica did her best to stifle it.
“Otilla! We are in the church! And where are you going with this?” Choke snapped.
“Sorry. Right. Okay, then, maybe ye go to Bristlenook and join up with Thad. Maybe ye hop a ride on a lumber wagon and go to Spitzer to ply yar trade there,” Peep said.
Mya’s nose wrinkled in displeasure at this.
“Yeah, no thanks,” Annica said. “That place chews up women worse than a goblin raid.”
“Okay, then. So… what? Ye want Brother Barrelmender to find ye a couple of nice, Stronian husbands?”
“Ew!” Mya said, her face contorted in disgust.
“Again. No thanks. We’ll take care of ourselves,” Annica said.
“Right. So, right back to whoring here in Bristlehump, I guess. That’s fine. Every town needs some hoors. But, how long d’ye think it’s gonna be before ye get snared by some other psycho? Ye think yar gonna find another nice fella like Tully to keep ye safe out here?”
“Peep…” Choke said, his tone a caution.
“Just, chill, man. Let me work here,” Peep said.
“What are ye getting at? Spit it out,” Annica asked Peep.
“Well, I’m just saying that if yar gonna set up shop for yarselves here in Bristlenook, then it would probably be a good idea for ye to get on our good side here at the church. Don’t ye think?” Peep said reasonably.
“And what if we don’t get on yar good side? Huh? What then?” Annica asked.
“I’m glad ye asked that, woman,” Peep said, her smile still friendly. “Now, I’m no expert on this whole whoring business. But it seems to me that women who… do that for a living,” Peep caught herself, “would normally wind up with a bunch of kids. Right? I mean, how could ye not, sooner or later? Unless…”
“Yeah? Unless what?” Annica pushed back, still defiant.
“Unless ye were, I dunno, offering up to the moon to have the babies just not happen. And I don’t know if ye know this, living way out here in the middle of nowhere as ye do, and all: but these Stronians… we Stronians… we don’t like that very much. See, prayers need to go to Stron. Or Altas. And that’s that.”
“Well, ye know what? I’ll pray to any god that keeps me from having to bear that burden! If I pray to Stron, is he gonna keep them babies away?”
“Such witchcraft is an abomination in His sight. You will burn for it. In this life, or the next,” Choke said, slamming his hand down on his pew.
Both Annica and Mya jumped in fear.
“Ye see?” Peep said, her smile still wide, but now much less friendly. “We Stronians don’t like that very much at all. But, that’s church business. That’s Brother Barrelmender’s matter. And Brother Barrelmender has a lot on his mind. He has this whole community to think about. So if, say, a couple of hoors were to set up shop and start banging away, I don’t think he’d mind all that much. And from the way the good folk of this community greeted ye out there today, I don’t think they’d mind either.”
Peep paused, looking each woman in the eye before continuing:
“But if, in a few months, them women aint showing any kind of baby bump from all that work they’re doing… well, that could go either of two ways for them. If we’re friendly towards them women around here, maybe Brother Barrelmender’s gonna be content for them to do their burning in the next life. Instead of burning in this one for it.”
Choke sighed deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Peep grinned at him and continued:
“Now, there’s just one more thing for ye to consider, concerning women in yar line of work steering clear of the psychos looking to muscle them. We’re all about law here. Stron’s law, and the kingdom’s law. So, if we were inclined to be friendly to the both of ye, I think we’d be fine with helping ye steer clear of that kinda trouble. If, say, a bad man starts pushing up on ye, and ye don’t like it, then I, for one, would be more than happy to send him packing. One way or another. If I was inclined to be friendly to ye, of course.”
With her pitch finished, Peep leaned back and steepled her fingers over her belly.
“Okay, then, I think I’m feeling ye,” Annica said, looking over to Mya to check that they both were in agreement. “But what are ye talking about, really? What’s it gonna take to make ye friendly? To keep ye friendly? Yar talking about a cut, right?”
“Nope! Nothing like that. We don’t want yar money. I wanna know what ye know. I want information. I want yar help with what we gotta do around here. That’s it. That’s the deal. Ye start telling us what ye know, ye answer our questions truthful, and we can be friends. That’s it,” Peep said.
“What, that’s it? Information?” Annica asked, looking almost more offput than when she thought Peep was after money.
“Yeah. That’s it. Information. And if it’s real good, I’ll even pay for it.”
“Well, okay, great. But, whad’ye think we can tell ye? We don’t know shit about shit,” Annica said.
“Listen now. Ye may think ye don’t, because ye don’t know what’s important, or not, in this world. But let me tell ye something,” Peep said, shooting a side look Choke’s way to make sure he was listening, too. “Every bandit worth his salt I ever knew or heard of got shit done based on solid information. Inside shit on cargos and schedules and whatever the fuck else. And I always heard around the campfire that the best source of that info was townie hoors. Cause what won’t a dumbass drunk tell a woman that’s fixin to suck his dick?”
“So ye want us to help ye rob lumber wagons?” Annica said with a smirk.
Peep simply stared at her deadpan until she wilted.
“Well, alright, then. Whad’ye wanna know?”
“Thad Swallowtail,” Choke spoke up. “What can you tell us about him?”
“Yeah, good call,” Peep snapped her fingers Choke’s way. “Whad’ye know about Thad?”
“That freak? He don’t pay for it, for one,” Annica answered.
“Ye know what he’s all about, though, right?” Peep said. “We heard that when Tully’s burned up, the five of ye hoors was gonna go to Bristlenook to try yar luck with Thad. But, Henri and Bryce talked three of ye into going up South Hill to start yar own thing. Do I have that right?”
“Well, I guess. But we was never that into going to Thad’s, though. Me, Paige, and Mya here, I mean. Erica and Kimmy were the ones sweet on him.”
“And they’re with him now?” Peep asked.
“As far as I know,” Annica shrugged.
“So why not Thad? Ye’d rather fuck half the dipshits in town in a tent for the likes of Henri?”
“Well that weren’t the pitch now was it?” Annica said sharply. “And Thad’s just… I dunno… he’s too weird.”
Mya nodded emphatically at this.
“So ye have spent some time with him,” Peep said.
“Yeah, sure. Kimmy talked us into going up to his place in Bristlenook. That was the first I ever really seen of him. Just had heard about him here and there, ye know? Guys would complain about having to pay for us when Thad’s getting it all for free.”
“Okay. And did Tully, or any of the hard cases around, ever get into why they didn’t just go up there and take that pussy away from him? What was stopping them?”
“I dunno. They just didn’t,” Annica said.
“But all them hard bandit types, they come to Bristlehump through Bristlenook, right? That’s the bandit country in these parts.”
“Yeah. Suppose so. But I don’t think they think of themselves as bandits. More like warriors,” Annica said.
“They do get their healing up there,” Mya interjected. “Ye know, if they catch an arrow, or whatever. That’s where they get healed.”
“Thad’s place. Thad Swallowtail does healing magic for warriors?” Choke asked sharply.
“Yeah. That’s what I heard guys talking about. Or, Diya, of course,” Mya said.
Choke shook his head and blinked at this. Peep snapped her fingers and gave him a, “you see?” look on the side.
“Diya does healing magic for warriors. In Bristlenook,” Choke said, enunciating very clearly.
“Yes, sir,” Mya said, nodding attentively. “I mean, I aint been up there myself, but I heard plenty of men talking about it, one time or another. About how so-and-so got his leg chopped, or whatever, and they went up to Thad’s to get it sorted, but it was too serious, so he couldn’t do much about it, so then Diya come down to Thad’s place and done it for them. That kinda thing.”
Choke held his hand up for silence and took a moment to process this. When he next spoke, it was still slowly with great intention:
“So, what you are saying, Mya, is that you have heard warriors say that they go to Thad’s for healing, but if their wounds are too serious, Diya comes to Thad’s place to do the healing.”
“Yup!” Mya exclaimed with more attentive nodding. “And they say that’s too bad, because she costs a bunch, and that ye don’t wanna get into debt with her, on account of her being a witch and all. Also that she’s getting pretty old now, and hefty, but that she was supposed to be a real beauty back in the day.”
“Have either of you met Diya?” Choke asked both Mya and Annica.
They both shook their heads.
“Okay,” Peep interjected, “but ye did spend some time with Thad. What was that like? Tell me about him.”
Annica opened her mouth to speak, but Mya cut her off eagerly, leaning into Peep with the air of an excited gossip:
“Well, ye know, he is so handsome! And hung like a horse! And he’s good at using it, too! When he bothers to, of course. Because he’s just a freak for oral. Giving and getting. Everybody all pretzelled together in the snuggle puddle. That’s what he calls an orgy, right? A snuggle puddle for oily snuggles! Isn’t that just hilarious?”
“But he never shuts the fuck up!” Annica cut in. She then noticed Choke’s deepening frown. “Oh, sorry,” she said, looking up to the Wheel altar.
“That’s true, though!” Mya went on. “The only time he aint running his mouth is when he’s got something in it. And it aint normal dirty talk, right? It’s like… all weird. Like he’s trying to teach us stuff. Just on and on and on. Like in church, but… well, ye know… not. Because off all the oily snuggles and rim jobs and stuff.”
“Yeah, there is less of that kinda thing around here, I’m pretty sure,” Peep said.
“Well, I guess. But, ye know, it was a fun couple a days there, but… I dunno. Just too weird for us. Way too much talking and ass play. Right Anni?” Mya finished.
Annica nodded absently, her mind now adrift in hazy recollection of that crazy time.
“Wait now,” Choke said, holding his hand up again. “Mya: you said that during your… time with him, he was trying to teach you things. Do you remember the kinds of things he was talking about?”
“Well, I dunno. It was all weird. About the heavens, and the sun and the moon and their cuddle puddle that became Aern. Like our sex stuff is just the same as the gods’ big sex stuff that created all of this! I mean, it’s pretty cooky, right?”
“Yes. That is indeed pretty cooky. I am sorry to ask you to repeat yourself, Mya, but I have to be sure about this. Thad told you that our world was created when the sun and the moon had sex and the moon gave birth to Aern. You remember this clearly?” Choke asked.
“Yeah, he wouldn’t shut up about it!” Mya said.
Annica nodded tiredly.
“Well, there we have it,” Choke said to Peep, who gave everyone a thumbs up.
“So this moon and sun business, is that good?” Mya asked.
“No. It is not good. It is heresy,” Choke said.
Both Mya and Annica tensed as their eyes widened in alarm.
“Don’t worry, ladies,” Peep interjected. “Ye both done good. It’s bad for Thad, is what it is.”
Mya looked pleased and relaxed back into her pew. Annica’s eyes narrowed and she cast Peep a sly look.
“So yar planning a move on him, next. Thad. Like ye did Tully,” Annica said.
“Oh, good for you! Ye figured that out, did ye? No moss growing on you, huh?” Peep said sarcastically.
“Well, we done good, ye said. So we’re friendly now, like ye said. Right?”
“Yeah, I’d say so,” Peep said.
“And we’re gonna keep our mouths shut about just who it is yar after, aren’t we, Mya?” Annica asked her friend, who nodded enthusiastically. “See? We aint gonna spill any of it. And just how much more friendly is that gonna make ye, I gotta wonder?” Annica asked Peep, a mercenary gleam in her eye.
“Woman, are ye trying to get clever with me? Anybody with half a brain in their head knows we gotta go after Thad just as soon as we put things right here in this town. So don’t ye try to get clever. But, ye did do good, and keeping yar mouths shut is just a good principle in regards to us here. So, I am gonna sweeten things for ye,” Peep said, digging her coin pouch out.
Choke leaned forward and raised a finger.
“What? They deserve something for that don’t they?” Peep asked him.
“Yes, I agree that they do. But they aren’t done yet. You both have to speak to Brother Barrelmender when he returns. You must tell him everything you have told us, and he will know if it is the truth. If it is the truth, then you shall be rewarded. But I warn you: you do not want to sully this house of Stron with lies to a Brother of the Holy Stone. So everything you tell him must be the truth. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Annica said, with Mya nodding away beside her. “That’s all the truth. Ye think we could make it up? So, what, now we gotta wait around here for the Brother to come back?”
“Yes. But you may relax. Also, we put what we assumed must be your belongings from the camp over there in the corner,” Choke pointed back into the rear of the church. “You may go and check. Anything you do not want, just leave there. We will deal with it.”
Choke stood up and motioned for the women to do likewise. When they had, he nodded deeply to them.
“Thank you for your cooperation. You both have been most helpful. Please be patient, and we will have you on your way just as soon as Brother Barrelmender has been able to interview you.
Annica and Mya did something of a curtsey for Choke and hurried over to the corner. Choke sat back down with Peep.
“So,” Peep said, keeping her voice low, “is that really enough to go get Thad?”
Choke nodded grimly. “With what we have observed already, it is actionable. Absolutely. What they described is the Solluna Union heresy. If their evidence is truthful, that is enough to detain him for questioning.”
“And if he resists?”
“That’s up to Barrelmender. But, honestly, that means we kill him,” Choke said.
“Well, there we go, then! So why are ye looking so grim about it, man?” Peep asked.
Choke sighed and thought for a while before answering:
“I don’t like how we’ve gone about this. It doesn’t sit well with me.”
“What? Because they’re hoors and we’re letting them get back to it? That don’t make sense. Father M is on the straight and narrow with all that, and there’s hoors aplenty in Spitzer,” Peep said.
“It’s not that. It’s the particular way you went at them. Threatening them with burning over feeding their unborn to the moon.”
“Well… what?” Peep said, her face screwed up in puzzlement. “What, ye wanna go after them over it? Not let it go? Ye know, almost all women do that moon baby stuff, right? At least the ones getting fucked do. It’s just the Stronians go after the ones that are trouble in other ways and look the other way for the so-called proper women.”
“No, it’s not that, necessarily. It’s—” Choke started, before Peep interrupted him.
“And that’s all a bunch of bullshit, anyways. I’m sorry, but it is! Ye confessed all yar sins to Father M, right? Ye told him all about fuckin that widow in Callic. Now, Pinch got the flaming hand, on account of his piece a pussy being a bowman’s wife. But what punishment did you get for it?”
“Cursing in the church, Peep! Enough! And what punishment I received is not relevant!”
“Aint it? Who gets punished and who don’t is all about property. So, a man dumps his load into a woman, and because he’s good a caving in skulls for a priest, he gets a pass on it. But the woman’s gotta carry the whole weight of it, one way or the other.”
“You know, Peep, you’ve said all this to me before,” Choke said, collapsing back into his pew in exhaustion.
“Yeah, well, is it any less true now than it was then?”
“There are distinctions. But I’m not going to get into it with you here and now. And it isn’t relevant. I know that the Church often looks the other way. Women that do that will be punished for it in the next life, if not this one. I am not concerned about it.”
“Well, that’s good, then. So what’s the problem?”
“It concerns me, Peep, that when we are doing this kind of work, evidence getting, I mean, that we are always just threatening these people with the worst outcome that we could arrange for them. Doesn’t that feel somewhat wrong to you, Peep?”
Peep looked at Choke as though he was insane. Then she laughed.
“Oh, man! We’re the law! How else d’ye think the law does its business? It’s our whole thing! Not to mention Stron. I mean, it’s do what Stron says or we’ll kill ye, by burning or just a normal way, and then ye’ll burn in Hell for all eternity. I aint wrong, am I? That’s the deal, aint it?”
“I… I don’t… Okay, just forget I said anything.”
“Yeah, I will. Because I don’ t need to be worrying about where yar head is at.”
“I think we need to pray. Will you pray with me, Peep?” Choke asked as he stood up.
“Sure!”
Choke and Peep went to the front of the church and drew their swords to kneel before the Wheel. Choke then began to pray:
“Lord Stron, thank you for the victory you gave Nikolas and Otilla yesterday against evil. Thank you that they were able to rescue two of your wayward lambs. Please grant us strength and vision to do what must be done in these difficult times. Let us see the way to do your will. Amen!”
“Amen,” Peep seconded.
Both of them felt the strong presence of the divine within the Wheel above them, bathing them as though they were steel within a forge. They both sighed in unison as Choke’s prayer was answered and they felt Stron’s strength firm them up from deep within their core.
The presence receded, but the strength of purpose remained. Both Choke and Peep continued kneeling, blades clasped in their hands, their eyes closed. They waited in this way until Brother Barrelmender’s return.
Muse Vassal 