Table of Contents – (spoilers)
Peep and Choke were sitting with Bob at Bab’s forest firepit, talking in the light of a single lamp. Bob had just agreed to help them in all matters against the Outfit. Peep was now pressing him about the ex-corporal Butters, the man who had shot Choke at Spitzer fort.
“Well, like I told ye at the yard this morning: Butters came riding in and demanded help. A horse and food and all that. He was looking for Sneed,” Bob said.
“Right. Good. While we’re at it, d’ye know where Sneed is?”
“Fuck no! D’ye think that cat keeps me apprised of anything he does? And nobody’s heard shit about him since he clipped Dixon. He’s in the wind.”
“Okay, then. So if ye don’t know where Sneed is, then how is it that ye know where Butters is? That don’t follow, if Butters is looking for Sneed,” Peep said.
“I know where Butters is because I put him on ice to wait for Sneed. I told Butters the truth. I don’t know where Sneed is, but I know he’s gonna come back here to deal with you when he’s done hatching whatever scheme he’s up to. And Butters aint gonna have much fun fucking around up north in the Moondark Hills looking for him. I told him I can tuck him away in a secure cabin not too far off and that as soon as I hear word about Sneed, I’ll let him know,” Bob said, with more than just a little pride.
“Okay. Sounds tight. But ye just said that Sneed don’t tell ye shit. And now ye got Butters sitting around with his thumb up his ass waiting for Sneed to send word to ye?”
“Well, sure. I bullshitted him a bit,” Bob laughed. “And even if he don’t believe me, we’re the fuckin teamsters here. Sooner or later, an Outfit cat like Sneed is gonna come home to roost. If for nothing else than to steal more of our horses and food. Right?”
“Okay. I’m feeling ye. Nice play. But why make it? Why not just have Butters fuck off?”
“Well, to be honest, because I wasn’t sure what play to make here. I was kicking that stone down the road. Setting Butters up in the bush to cool his heels and wait is just what him and Sneed would want me to do for him. And, I thought ye were dead, right?” Bob looked to Choke. “So, however that plays out, with Butters up my sleeve, I got a card to play either way.”
“Clever motherfucker,” Peep said, nodding happily. “Ye got some balls, Bob.”
“What, ye think ye wind up in my position if ye don’t?”
“Suppose not. So, where is Butters?” Peep asked.
“Like I said, up in a cabin. It’s a hunting cabin we use sometimes. It aint that far. Maybe a one-hour walk. From the yard, ye head up over the South Hill. Down the other side of that there’s a decent trail that forks at a crick. Ye take the fork that heads up the next ridge. When yar almost up near the top, there’s a cluster of boulders right where the trees thin out. There’s another little trail down the slope around the base of them boulders. Head down that a few hundred meters and there’s the cabin.”
“And that’s a good hunting spot, is it?”
“Yeah. It is. Just a little bit down from it is a spring. And there’s a saltlick nearby that. We got a blind overlooking the both of them from up above. Easy shot,” Bob said.
“Okay. Sounds sweet. And Butters is there?”
“Yeah. Right where I put him.”
“That’s good work, Bob,” said Peep. “So, just so’s I’m straight in my head about all this. Butters shows up at yar yard on Friday, right? And ye give him a horse and food. Anything else?”
“Yeah, some potato wine.”
“And then ye took him straight to this cabin? How’d that work?”
“No. We aint fuckin stupid. We do that, and everyone’s gonna gab about it. I had him ride south down through Bristlenook like he was leaving town. Then he looped back over the hump, through the bush, to Big Rock. Ye know where that is?”
“I do. It’s just by Cowslip Crick just behind where Tully’s used to be,” Peep said.
“Right. So, then, I sent my man Klim to Big Rock to meet him and take him to the cabin through the bush. Nobody saw them.”
“So who knows he’s up there? Just you and Klim?”
“That’s right.”
“And ye trust Klim to keep this shit to himself?”
“He wouldn’t be my man otherwise,” Bob said sharply.
“And how are ye supposed to communicate with him? I guess when ye resupply him. That on a schedule?” asked Peep.
“That’s right. Every three or four days. After our meeting this morning, I sent Klim on up with some more food and another jug. Thought I shouldn’t delay telling Butters the news that he didn’t kill ye,” Bob said, looking Choke’s way.
“Good thinking. And Klim made it back okay?” asked Peep.
“Yeah. He did.”
“And how did Butters take that news?”
“Klim said he cussed up a storm. But Klim told him what he knows, which is that I told ye all that I don’t know where him or Sneed is. So, he’s gonna sit tight.”
“Or, that’s what he told Klim he’d do” Peep corrected Bob.
“Right, sure. But why the fuck wouldn’t he? Situation aint that different for him either way.”
“Yeah. But in our line we can’t make assumptions about this kinda shit. But, yeah, I agree; he’s probably sitting tight still. And he’s expecting Klim or you to come again. So, it’s Monday today, right? So, he’s expecting ye Thursday or Friday?”
“Yeah. That’s what Klim said.”
“Good. So, when ye met him last Friday, how did Butters strike ye?” Peep asked.
“Whad’ye mean?”
“Well, like, what kinda guy is he? What d’ye make of him?”
Bob paused to think this over. Then he hawked and spat in the fire pit.
“What did I make of him? Not much, I’d say. I mean, he’s a fuckin killer, sure. Probably had some moves in his early days to get where he is with the Outfit. But now? Too many years living soft, I’d say. Typical, entitled thug asshole. A drunk, too, I’d guess. The potato wine was his call. Full jug every delivery. And he’s not too fuckin bright, I’d say. Bragging to me and Klim that he killed the Lieutenant, here. That’s just fuckin stupid. That’s the kinda shit that people are gonna hear about ye secondhand anyways, so why the fuck would ye go around talking about it?”
“Yeah. No doubt. And how was he outfitted? What kinda gear did he have?” asked Peep.
“Usual soldier shit. Not in any kind a uniform, though. In chainmail. Roundshield and spear. Shortsword. Crossbow on the horse. Full saddlebags and a pack. Looked a proper hard case in the saddle.”
“How was the horse? Did he blow it riding from Spitzer?”
“No. Don’t reckon so. It looked tuckered out, sure. But I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine. He wanted the second horse so’s he could switch off on them for the hard riding,” Bob said.
“And he’s got both them horses up at the cabin.”
“Yeah.”
“And he took the saddle and all with that horse,” Peep confirmed.
“Yup.”
“Okay then,” Peep said. She then fell into silence, her fingers tapping out a light patter on the hilt of her shortsword.
Bob and Choke both kept silent and let her think. Eventually, she was ready to proceed.
“That cabin. How’s it situated defensively?” she asked Bob.
“Not bad. It’s got a good view of the one trail from the rock outcropping for about fifty meters. And ye can hear people coming real good. Any other approach is gonna hafta be on foot. There’s a foot trail down through the bush to the hunting blind and the spring. That’s pretty tight. Then it’s all game trails down in there. On foot, no problem for ye, I’d guess.”
“Ye’d guess right, I’d say. And does anyone else use this cabin? Who’s it for?”
“It’s mine, basically. But I let teamsters go up there when they wanna do a hunt for a few days. But they gotta ask. And it aint deer season yet, anyways. So, he aint gonna be getting any surprise visitors, I’d say.”
“Okay. Good… good,” Peep said, drifting into thought again. Then she suddenly perked up and sat up, clapping her hands together sharply. “This all sounds pretty choice, Bob. And I’m pretty sure I could get it done easily enough. But, going after a thug like that, holed up with a crossbow in a good defensive position, well, to do it carefully, that’s quite a bit more time than I’d like to invest in this job. So, I think we’re gonna go about this another way.”
“Okay…” Bob said, concerned.
“Yeah. What we’re gonna do here is, yar gonna let him sit up there for another four days. That extra day won’t spook him, since it’s accounted for in the plan. But, it’ll get him twitchy. If he is a proper drunk, he’ll have gotten through that last jug and be sobering up. And he’ll be getting stir-crazy. Cats like him aint used to laying low in the bush. They can’t handle it. They need people to fuck over and bully. Too much silence like that, they start going crazy in their own rat’s nest of a mind.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Right. So, then, on Friday, which is four days from today, right? Yeah. So, on Friday morning, ye head up there with everything he expects. You, I mean, Bob. Not Klim on that one. You. And, then, ye tell him that Sneed has sent word. He’s back, holed up just north of Bristlenook. He heard that Butters is in play, and wants him to join up with his new crew. Ye got all this so far, Bob?” Peep asked mildly.
“Yeah. I got it.”
“You aint gonna have any problem selling it, will ye, Bob?”
“No. I’ll fuckin sell it.”
“Good. Good. So, anyways, Sneed is back around and wants Butters to come help him put an end to us. So, ye tell Butters that Sneed said for him to be at Big Rock, with all his shit ready to go, on Saturday morning. Mid-morning at Big Rock. And one of Sneed’s men is gonna be there to take him to Sneed’s camp. Ye got that?”
“Yeah, I got it. It aint all that fuckin complex,” Bob muttered.
Peep chuckled. “No. I don’t suppose it is. And after a full week in the bush, and probably a day of being sober, Butters is gonna jump on it. Ye just gotta sell it to him. But it aint gonna be a hard sell, because it’s exactly what he wants to hear.”
“Okay. But which man is Sneed gonna send? Butters is gonna want a name, right?” Bob asked.
Peep snapped her fingers and pointed at Bob. “Yeah! That’s right! Good call, Bob. Let’s see. Uhhh… what was that fucker’s name he said? That’s it! Kerl! Right. Kerl.”
“Oh, that fuckin psycho,” Bob flinched, clearly horrified at the mere mention of his name.
“That’s the cat that takes people’s faces off, right? Yeah. So, on Friday ye take Butters his shit, and ye tell him that Sneed tells him to be at Big Rock the next day at mid-morning. Kerl is gonna meet him there and then take him to Sneed’s camp. Ye can do that, Bob?”
“Yeah. I can do that.” Bob then waited for a long moment before continuing: “And then yar gonna take care of it?”
“Now, Bob, what was it ye were just saying about how stupid it was for Butters to brag about killing Lieutenant Pekot? Don’t ye fuckin worry about it. Ye give him the message, and ye go home, and ye forget about him. And three days after that, ye send Klim up there to yar cabin with the next package. And Butters will have moved on. Ye know how it goes. The bush just has a way of swallowing certain people up sometimes. Any questions?”
“No. I got it.”
“See that ye do, Bob. And, then, after ye do, we’re gonna be friends. In private, like. I mean, we’re still gonna hafta act like we’re always on the verge of cutting each other’s throats. But, we’ll be friends. And we’ll continue to take care of each other. Right?” Peep asked.
“Yeah. Sure. Real friendly,” Bob said, his tone pitch black.
“Don’t be like that, Bob. It’s all gonna work out just fine. Trust me. I have a feeling,” Peep said.
“Alright, then. So, is that it?”
“Pretty much. But seeing as we’re all on the same side and all, and we don’t gotta worry about being overheard here, I’d like to pick yar brain on a couple of other matters,” Peep said.
“Yeah, sure. Why the fuck not?” Bob sighed deeply.
“Yeah, why the fuck not. So, this Henri dipshit. Kills the other one to get his hands on the hoors. Ye know about all that, I take it,” Peep said.
“Yeah. What about it? Yar gonna need my help to get that one sorted, too?” Bob snarked.
“No. Just wanted to see what else ye could add. He’s set himself up with some tents in the bush on the South Hill, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right. At first it was in one of them little clearings for the old lumber skids about halfway up the hill. But when he heard ye guys got to town he moved up to the top of the hill to that camp where the bandits that ye killed were staying.”
“We know the spot. That was Burkkhard’s crew, right?” asked Peep.
“Reckon so. Never had the pleasure myself. Anyways, he’s up there alright. Some of the boys have been complaining about having to walk all the way up there to do their thing.”
“Ye haven’t gone to check it out yourself, have ye Bob?” Peep asked, her tone playful.
“Fuck that. I don’t pay for it. At least, not that way. But I heard he’s got three women up there.”
“Good. Good info. Thanks. Now, just one more thing tonight. This is a more general thing. I was just curious if ye could think of anyone else around here who would be good to talk to. Ye know, someone who knows what the fuck is going on, especially up north in the Moondark Hills country. And, if we’re lucky, someone who might be amenable to talking to us. It’s a longshot, I know. But, can ye think of anyone like that, Bob?”
“Well, yeah. But ye aint gonna like hearing it. That fruitcake sex pest, Thad, up past Bristlenook. He’d be one for ye to talk to on that front,” Bob said.
Choke groaned.
Peep laughed. “Thickmeat Thad Swallowtail? Half of what that guy sees and hears don’t exist, man!”
“Ye laugh, but think about it for a minute. He’s annoying as all shit, I’ll give ye that, but he aint half as fucked up as he pretends to be. How d’ye reckon he’s sitting up there in that holler of his with all that prime pussy, right in the middle of some of the hottest bandit country around?”
“Well, now that ye mention it, Bob, that is a good point. How is it that he manages to hold that down, do ye reckon?” Peep asked.
“Well, he’s a priest, right? He heals up whoever needs it, for pretty much nothing, and he cultivates some of the dankest weed and shrooms around. That shit he sells. But, if fuckers are scary enough and in enough numbers, I expect he’s more than happy to just give it away. Those kinds of services are hard to come by for outlaws.”
“Well shit, Bob, that is food for thought. Thanks for bringing it up,” Peep said.
“Yar welcome. So, is that it? We done here?”
“Just about, Bob. And thank you for your help,” Choke interjected. “Just a couple more questions. You say Thad is a priest. Do you know what denomination?”
“How the fuck should I know? Do I look like a priest? He talks all kinds a shit.”
“He does indeed. Well, thank you anyways. And while we’re on the topic, it’s not just him and his followers up in that holler, now is it? There’s a woman up there as well, isn’t there? Diya, right? Has a place up by East Rock?”
Bob stared at Choke for a good long while.
“What?” Choke asked.
“Look, I see where yar going with this, Lieutenant. They aint yar type of spellcasters. I get it. But that whole trip is supposed to be Barrelmender’s thing, right? So, don’t ye think ye’ve got enough on yar plate with Sneed and the Outfit and getting this place all tightened up for this goblin apocalypse ye’ve all be yodeling about? Yar really looking to carve off some more trouble for yarself right now?”
“Well, since you put it that way, Bob, I suppose not. And I thank you for answering our questions in your own, roundabout way. That’s all from me tonight, then.”
“Alright. So we’re good for now?” Bob asked Peep.
“Yup! Just do everything exactly as I said, and we’re all gonna be happy campers,” Peep said.
“Alright then. I suppose I’ll see ye around the yard before too long. If ye need to talk more private like this, Babs or Balan is the best way to arrange that,” said Bob.
“Fuckin A!” Peep said.
“Just about normal business, Bob. I have written the letters to Father Morrenthall and Captain Edison about getting a horse patrol of the road. I’ll have someone take them to you tomorrow morning to be sent out on the next available caravan. I wouldn’t get my hopes up, though. They are undermanned in Spitzer.”
“Yeah, what the fuck else is new? Okay, then. Thanks for it, anyways. Alright, I’m gonna head back to my place through the bush here. Give me a few minutes if yar gonna go the same way,” Bob jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the dark forest behind him.
“Alrighty. We’ll do that. Ye just keep it smart now, Bob. And rest easy. We’re doing Stron’s work here,” Peep said.
“If ye say so,” Bob said over his shoulder as he turned to go.
“I do!” Peep called out to him as he left the campsite.
Muse Vassal 