The Children of Stron – part 142

Table of Contents – (spoilers)

read part 141

Pekot’s Bushrats’ first night in Bristlehump passed uneventfully. The night was quiet and none of the men made any trouble. The rain finally stopped during the night, and dawn broke on an overcast day that looked as though it could go either way.

Rather than a bugle or a trumpet (which they did not have), Choke had Pinch rouse the men with his bandit horn. The horn was a status piece: made from a large mountain ram’s horn with an antler mouthpiece, it was decoratively carved in woodland motif and had some inlay of semi-precious stones. The previous owner, Burkhard, had been a feared man in this area. Pinch’s use of his horn would not go unnoticed.

“Shit,” Choke muttered. “Pinch and Knuckle: muster the men in the yard. Peep: would you join me please?”

Choke left Pinch and Knuckle to it and he and Peep stepped towards the bolder of the villagers who were making their startled way up Main Street and out of the side lanes towards the military garrison.

“Do not be alarmed!” Choke called to the villagers, raising both his hands in the air. “We have just called the troops to morning muster!”

“What the fuck are ye thinking? With that fuckin horn? Right here in town? Damn near shit myself!” shouted a large hairy man dressed as a lumberjack with a felling axe in hand.

“My apologies, sir. It is our way. I am Lieutenant Bartholomew Pekot, the commander of the garrison here, and the magistrate’s apparitor,” Choke called out to the almost one hundred people who had now gathered to stare at him.

“Yar a fuckin asshole is what ye are! Asshole!” the man shouted at Choke, shaking his axe at him a little before turning on his heel to stomp back the way he had come, complaining loudly as he went: “Stron’s blazing asshole! Toot-tootin a fuck bandit horn first thing like he’s some kind a fuckin lord of the manor here. Some fuckin nerve on this jink fuck!”

There was some good-natured laughter at the woodsman’s rant as he moved through the crowd, but it did not seem as though things were going to get out of hand.

“Smooth move, dipshit,” Peep muttered at Choke.

“Yes, thank you. Well, they’ll get used to it,” Choke sighed.

“They’re gonna have to, right? Can’t back off of it now. Not after ye shouted at all of them that it’s our way.”

“Like I said: they’ll get used to it. And it’s a clear message. They know who we took that from.”

“Oh, no shit. I’m just busting yar balls,” Peep said. “So, now what?” she gestured towards the amused crowd that was still lingering.

“Well, if we’re meant to be the show, then I suppose we should give them one,” Choke said.

He marched over to the mustered men standing in their two lines with their spears and shields. The five soldiers who were left over from the original garrison had just managed to figure out how to join the new soldiers. Cretins as they were, they fit in perfectly.

“Attention!” bellowed Knuckle as Choke and Peep approached.

With the crowd of villagers watching, the men managed to look impressive as they snapped to it, with their shields and spears making an intimidating racket.

“Men! I shall keep this brief!” Choke said to them loudly. “You all had a long march the last two days. So this morning, you may have light duty. After breakfast, you are all to clean and maintain your weapons, gear, and clothing. Spit and polish, men! Take your time with it and do it right. Parade inspection before lunch! Those who fail to pass inspection shall be put on reprimand. Let me assure you: you do not want that! All right then! Fall out!”

As the men relaxed to return to barracks, Choke gestured for Knuckle and Pinch to join him.

“Knuckle: this morning Peep and I are going to go and meet with Bob the teamster. I need you to stay here and keep an eye on the men. Once again, let Corporals Dom and Lenny take the lead on it. Watch them and assess how they are all doing. Only step in if things seem out of hand. Alright?”

“Yeah, no problem, sir. That’s it?”

“That’s it. But you’ll be on your own with it. Pinch is going to be on other duties,” Choke said.

“Alright. I’ll keep em in line!” Knuckle said happily. He saluted Choke and turned to follow the last of the men into the barracks, twirling his cudgel merrily.

Peep chuckled. “Man… and he’s the fucker that was complaining about having to join the army. Like a pig in shit.”

“Indeed,” Choke said. He then turned to Pinch: “Pinch, you are going to be a bit busier. Like I discussed last night, you’re going to be our quartermaster, and you’ll need to get on it.”

“Yeah. No problem. Where do I start?” Pinch said, clearly pleased with his assignment.

“Good. First thing, I want you to go to the general store. What’s the man’s name again?” Choke asked Pinch and Peep.

Peep shrugged as Pinch stared off into space for just a second before answering: “Bill. Bill Cornmasher. Our fixer Gabe’s been learning stilling from him, and Shasta hates his guts.”

“You see?” Choke gave Pinch a friendly thump. “I knew you’re the man for the job!”

“Yeah, well, who the fuck else?” Pinch laughed, nonetheless seeming quite pleased at the compliment.

“I agree only in the best of ways, Pinch. There’s no one I would choose but you for such important duty. So, go have a word with Cornmasher. Keep it civil, even if he isn’t. And arrange for our food supply. Not beer or spirits, of course. We’ll get the beer from Babs. Then, go to the stablemaster. Stadnick’s his name, right? Right. Talk to him and figure out what we have going on with horses at the moment. We should have the two we got from Tully’s, your bandit horse, Knickers, Knuckle’s original horse, and Betsy the mule. I think we should keep the three horses at the church stable and figure out where to pasture the mules. Anyways, we’re going to need Stadnick to supply feed and hay for all our horses, delivered to the church and garrison stables.”

“Got it. And they’re supposed to provide this on credit against the taxes their gonna owe on their rents to the Baron, right?” Pinch said.

“Exactly. And I have the writ to show them from Captain Edison if they kick up a fuss. However, I don’t expect they shall. But if they do, tell them I will bring it to them as soon as I possibly can.”

“Sure thing. Then what? Come back here and kick the boys around with Knuckle?” Pinch asked.

“Not so much. I want you to go through the garrison from top to bottom and inventory what we have in terms of weapons, gear, and tools. We are going to need proper lumbering and digging tools, same as we had at Spitzer fort. We should also make sure we have all the lamps, oil, torches, rope, and whatever else you think we need. If there’s a lack, we’ll need to get that from Cornmasher as well.”

“Yes, sir. That’s it?” Pinch asked.

“For now. You may head out on it after breakfast.”

“Yes, sir!” Pinch saluted and left to head into the barracks.

By this point, the crowd had all but completely thinned out, with just a few children and old men standing around watching Peep and Choke. Peep gave them a wave with a big grin and they all scattered.

“Well, I’m glad we still scare the shit outta someone around here,” Peep laughed. “That lumberjack earlier sure wasn’t buying it!”

“Well, we can hardly blame him for venting some spleen, the way I started their day,” Choke chuckled. “Oops. Oh well. Shit happens.”

“Indeed it does. Glad to see yar starting to relax about it a bit.”

“Well, what are the alternatives? There’s only so much I can control here.”

“Speaking of which, what are we doing about the watch today? Ye got them all spit and polishing now. Who’s on the gate?” Peep asked.

“Shit! You see? Uhhh… Okay, we’ll put the five original guys on the gates. Two on each gate, with one up the watchtower. They can rotate at lunch. They don’t have to do night watch. We’ll let them keep at it like that for the time being, until we get our lads up to speed and can work them into the mix properly. Do you agree?” Choke asked Peep.

She shrugged. “The fuck do I know about this shit? Sounds solid. Okay, let’s go get breakfast.”

Breakfast was just being served to the first of the men when one of the men from the south gate nervously approached Pinch and Peep where they were seated at the back of the garrison.

“Ahm… sir? Ma’am? There’s a couple folk outside here asking after ye,” he said.

“How many? Two, ye say?” Peep asked.

“Uh-huh. It’s the big lady Babs and her boy, the one what works for Cornmasher.”

“Well, shit! Why didn’t ye say so, man?” Peep barked at the quivering man. Then she laughed at him when he startled. “Don’t worry! I’m just fuckin with ye. Ye did just say so. Good man! Settle down. I aint gonna cut ye up into little pieces. Not unless ye give me reason to. Alright. Scoot! Back to yar watch!”

Babs and her boy, Gabe, were standing just inside the gate talking to the other soldier on watch. Gabe had come equipped to serve again, with his sturdy little bush horse and kitted up in his leather armor. Babs just had a walking stick and a healthy flush from hiking up the ridge from their place in Bristle Hollow.

“Well, I never! Look who’s alive and breathing! Glad to see it, lad! Glad to see it!” Babs exclaimed as Choke and Peep approached them from the garrison.

“Thank you, Babs. I am likewise happy to see you doing well. And you, Gabe. We ran into your husband, Balan, on the road and he let us know what you had heard,” Choke said as he offered first Babs and then Gabe his hand to shake.

Peep hung back and nodded at Babs respectfully. Gabe, she ignored.

“And look at you in yar fancy duds! An officer, now! My, how the wicked must tremble to see you and yar men coming! What a sight. Good on ye, boy. Ye done yarself proud!” Babs smiled warmly.

“Well, thank you, Babs. I hope so,” Choke said. “My apologies, though, Babs. We only arrived last night and have much to do. And, actually, you are precisely the person we wanted to speak to about some business. Do you have a moment?”

“For you? I surely do! Shall we head back down to our place and have a proper feed while we jaw?”

“As tempting as that is, I’m afraid time is a little too tight. May we invite you inside for breakfast with us?” Choke asked.

Babs made a sour face. “I think I’ll spare myself whatever it is yar lot is cookin up. But I’ll come in for a cup of stug with ye. Hard to bugger that up.”

Choke showed Babs and Gabe through a side door of the garrison building that accessed a small dining room off the kitchen. He left Peep to get them seated and went through to the kitchen to get a pot of stugroot and some mugs himself. When he returned, Peep and Babs were laughing about Lieutenant Dixon.

“Yes, he was a horny hound, that one. Just could not keep himself out of sin,” Babs laughed.

“Yeah, and look how that ended for him. By the way: how did that go, after he got shot on the road like that? He musta got trampled pretty bad, ankles tied to the stirrups as they were.”

Babs grimaced. “Yeah, that was ugly, I heard. Some of the lads at the yard shoveled what was left of him into a box for Brother Barrelmender to bury. So he got a proper Stronian homecoming, at least. Not that it’ll do him much good where he’s heading, the way he carried on. Good riddance, I say! Ah, thank ye, lad!” Babs said happily as Choke poured her the first mug of viciously strong stugroot.

“My pleasure Babs,” Choke said. He then poured mugs for Gabe, Peep, and himself before continuing: “Now, as to our business. We literally have some for you. I have been provided a budget for our platoon’s beer ration, and I would prefer to give you the business. However, you and your family are tenants of the Church, not the Baron’s. That is correct?”

“Yes, it is. But we should be able to work that out. Yar still the Brother’s apparitor, aren’t ye? So the Church should take that on for ye, shouldn’t it?”

“Well, strictly speaking, I don’t think they should have to. We might have to work something out with Brother Barrelmender,” Choke said.

Peep snorted.

Babs gave her a knowing look. “Yeah. He aint the one to be talking to about such matters. But, with the goings on in regards to church matters of late, I’m not sure how things are situated presently. If ye know what I’m getting at.”

“What? No. What the fuck are ye talking about, Babs?” Peep laughed.

Choke nodded with a pained look. “I think I do know what you are getting at Babs. And I appreciate your discretion. Peep, I didn’t get a chance to get into it with you yet, but last night Brother Barrelmender told me that he thrashed Shasta and threw her into the gutter for bothering him about moving out into the church. Is that right, Babs?”

Babs took a moment to stare down into the abyss of her stugroot mug with an inscrutable look on her face before taking some time to clear her throat.

“Well, our Brother does have a way with words, doesn’t he? A thrashing is not really how I would describe it. He beat the shit outta her with that staff of his. And I know the man has been to war and all, so he coulda killed her easily enough if he’d wanted to. So I’ll credit him with pulling some of them blows, seeing as she’s still alive and able to get around. But… yeah… that was a hell of a beating she took.”

“Well, shit. That’s rough for her. Still, keeping poking a bear, sooner or later it’s gonna swat ye,” Peep said.

“Suppose that’s so. She does have a way of rubbing people wrong. So I’m not even going to wade into that swamp of what’s been going on between the two of them. Suffice to say, that if he’s looking to clean up his act, then that can only be to the good. Where that leaves her and her youngsters is another matter, though. But, again, that’s not any of my business. However…”

Babs took a long moment to rumble significantly before she continued:

“What is my business is that me and mine are Church tenants. And Shasta’s been the one managing all that. And, as rough as she can be with that tongue of hers, she’s done a pretty good job of it. So, if she’s out, we’re all gonna need to figure out how to handle things. Because… well… as a good Stronian, I aint one to speak ill of a man of the cloth. But…”

“Barrelmender aint up to it. We hear that,” Peep said.

“As I understand things, Shasta and Brother Barrelmender became inappropriately entangled before she stepped in to take over the business of his parish,” Choke said.

Shasta guffawed loudly. “Inappropriately entangled! Well! That is a shit-kicking way to say it! Inappropriately entangled! Ha! Gonna remember that one!”

“Yes, well, however you would chose to frame it, I think Shasta has been taking liberties with the parish. The ones she took with Brother Barrelmender are not our concern. But the parish’s finances and those of her household are not one and the same, and should not be treated as such. If she is to be his housekeeper and business manager, then she can draw a living from that, of course. But more than that is malfeasance,” Choke said.

“Well, that may be. But I aint gonna comment on it one way or another. We’ve been giving our rent over to her for years now. So if that’s gotta change, then it’s gonna need to be Brother Barrelmender that takes that in hand. Right?”

“Yes. As usual, Babs, you have a firm grasp of the matter. This is not your concern. I have every confidence that you and the other tenants have been perfectly correct in every regard. Thank you for your help in this matter. I think we can take it from here.”

“Yeah, well, better you than me, buddy,” Babs laughed.

“No shit,” muttered Peep.

“Yes, indeed,” Choke sighed. He took a swig of stugroot and pressed on gamely, though: “Now, Babs, I think that’s all the business we have that concerns you directly, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to run some things by you.”

“Yeah, sure. Whad’ye got?” Babs said, leaning forward over her elbows on the table.

“First of all, have you heard anything about Sneed since we left? About what he might be up to?” asked Choke.

“Nope,” Babs shook her head. “He’s just vanished. Maybe ye scared him off with that show ye put on at Tully’s.”

“I doubt it,” Peep said. “He killed Dixon right after we took down Tully’s. And before that I heard him tell guys there that he was gonna head out and get to work on his next project against us. So he’s still coming at us. Count on that.”

“Well, then, I suppose he is. But we aint heard anything about it around here. Right?” Babs finished, turning to direct the question at her boy, Gabe.

“Uh, yeah! That’s right! He’s just disappeared. Did hear that he headed out to the north east, though. Out through Bristlenook,” Gabe said.

“Well that’s something. Well, keep yar ears peeled and let us know whatever ye hear, no matter how small. We appreciate it,” Peep said, looking to Babs first, and then to Gabe.

“Will do,” Babs said for both of them. “So, that’s Sneed the snake discussed. So I guess next yar gonna wanna talk about Henri the loverboy. Ye’ve heard about all that, I’d reckon,” Babs said with a salacious smile.

“Just the basics, I reckon. He’s the soldier that killed another soldier over the hoors we set loose from Tully’s, right?” Peep said.

“Yup! Some of them, anyways. Stories differ on the exact whys of it, though. Some say that Bryce, that’s the one that got killed, was just thinking to shack up with one of them, and wasn’t gonna pay Henri for the privilege. Others say they planned to go into business together and had a falling out. Whatever the case may be, it’s for sure that Henri killed Bryce out in the yard right here. Right in front of everyone. Tuesday morning it was. Guess he was trying to make a name for himself as a hard man. Dumbass,” Babs chuckled.

“Is Henri a cretin?” Choke asked.

“Whad’ye mean? As compared to who?” Babs chortled.

“Fair question, I suppose. But this man is deserting from the army by murdering a fellow soldier. Surely he has to know that we’ll be back. Or, if not us, then someone else. How long is this little business venture of his going to last?”

“Why the fuck does he know that for sure, Choke?” Peep said. “Alls they know is that we lit outta here with Dixon, Dixon got shot, and we fucked off to Spitzer without him. Anyone around here with a mind turned against us is gonna reckon that Sneed scared us off. And besides us, when’s the last time they saw law and order that was worth a shit out here?”

“I have to say Otilla is right there, Bartholomew,” said Babs. “And a guy like Henri, like most of these knuckle-dragging dipshits out here, sees a chance to get his hooks into a couple of working girls like that… well, that’s just gotta be a dream that’s too good to pass up. Sad as that is, speaking to what fellers like him have going on inside their twisted little heads.”

“Yeah, no doubt. He aint thinking this through with his big head, that’s for sure,” Peep laughed.

“That’s exactly what I just said, woman!” Babs laughed loud, leaning forward to swat at Peep across the table.

It took a while for Peep and Babs to settle down. During the entire conversation about the Henri situation, Gabe had been getting increasingly tense. As Peep and Babs broke into laughter together, he actually flinched and looked as though he might leave the table. He then remembered himself and hunched down to stare into his mug. Peep took note of his behavior, but let it pass for the time being.

“You don’t happen to know who exactly it was that witnessed the murder, do you Babs?” Choke asked once things had settled down.

“Not really, no. But most of the other soldiers, for sure. It was right out front here, right?”

“Indeed. And have you heard anything about where this Henri fellow is setting himself up?” Choke asked.

“Nothing real specific, since I aint in the market for what he’s selling. But, we heard that he’s set up some tents somewheres on the South Hill. That’s the one in behind the freight yard. Good spot for it, too, since most of the men around here have cause to go to the yard sooner or later. And there’s all them good trails through there. I think the bandits that tried to waylay ye were set up at the top of the hill there, weren’t they?” Babs said.

“That they were,” Peep said.

“Well, anyways, it aint gonna be too hard to track him down, right? There’s gonna be a steady stream of fellers heading up that hill with hardwood and coin and coming back down with just a stupid grin.”

“I’d say you’re right on that front,” Peep said. “Like I said, Choke: a bit of easy fun to get back into the swing of it here.”

“Perhaps. But is this guy going to keep at it when he hears we’re back in town? Which he surely will just as soon as he wakes up today. If he hasn’t already,” said Choke.

“Well, I dunno, man,” said Peep. “Ye think a man like Henri is up to this shit because he’s smart and careful and hard working like you? What were we just talking about? Whad’ye think he’s gonna do? Drag his hoors off though the bush to another town? I don’t see it man. I reckon that when he hears we’re back in town, he’ll lay low for a day or two. Then, if we haven’t been sniffing around after him, he’s gonna get back to his big business plan. We just gotta let this settle for a week, and it’ll be like plucking a coop chicken. Right?”

“I think that sounds like sense to me,” Babs said. “And besides, if he runs off, then he’s not here anymore and the problem’s solved that way.”

“Well, yes. Except, if that is the case, then he gets away with murder.”

“Well, who hasn’t around here, huh?” Babs chuckled, giving Peep a sideways look.

“And just what the fuck d’ye mean by that, Babs?” Peep laughed back.

“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. That wretched swine Corporal Munge just up and walked off into the night all by himself, never to be heard of again. I am sure.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what happened. Some people do that,” Peep said, deadpan now as she traced he index fingernail down the side of her neck.

Babs nodded sagely at this as she recalibrated her level of mirth.

Choke cleared his throat. “Well, thank you, Babs. I think you have given us more than enough to go on. Now, if we could, I’d like to quickly discuss your son, Gabe. He was very helpful to us when we were last here, and I think we’d like to continue the relationship. I’m guessing, Gabe, that based on you coming here fully kitted up, that you would like to continue helping us?”

“Huh? What?” Gabe started.

“D’ye wanna keep working with them, Boy?” Babs asked sharply as she gave him a swat.

“Oh. Right. Yeah! Yeah, I do.”

“All right, then. We can certainly use your help,” Choke said. “And now we can actually pay you for your service. I have discretion to hire local guides on our payroll. Now, it isn’t much, of course. It is only a silver a week, just half what the regular soldiers make. But, you won’t be obliged to fight or do labor or anything like that. You’ll just function as our guide, as you were before.”

“Woah. Hold up a minute, there,” Babs said, raising her hand over the table. “My boy aint joining the army. No way, no how. No offense, of course, but that’s not for him.”

“Understood, Babs. He will not be joining the army. He will simply be working as our local guide, just as he was before. He will not be obliged to do anything beyond that, and he is free to stop whenever he wants. It’s just that now he can get paid a little for it,” Choke said.

“Well, that’s alright, then. A bit of coin money never hurts. Yar gonna do a good job for these good people then, Gabe, aren’t ye?”

“Yes, I will,” Gabe answered his mother dutifully.

“Well, there we have it, then,” Choke said as he stood up and presented Gabe his hand.

Gabe stood up and the two shook hands across the table.

“Welcome aboard as a guide of the Royal Bitina Army. You will be paid along with our men every Saturday. In the event that we do not have coin money on hand, your pay will accrue. That means that once we have the coin, your back pay will be paid in full. Do you have any questions?”

“No. Ah, no, sir. Well, maybe. Am I meant to be staying here with all of ye?” Gabe asked.

“No, that isn’t necessary. When we are in town here, you can stay at home. We’ll let you know when and where we need you. You should also be able to find time to keep up your work with Cornmasher. But, we do ask that you prioritize us when we need you.”

“Yeah! Of course! I won’t let ye down, sir!”

“Good. I am sure you won’t. So, for now, could you go back out and around to the front of the barracks. Try to find Sergeant Nikolas or Sergeant Theodas. That’s Pinch and Knuckle. See if there’s anything they could use a hand with. They could also introduce you to the men. Alright?” Choke asked, gesturing to the door to the outside.

“So I’ll go now, then?”

“Yes. Thank you. I just want a private word with your mother. It won’t take long. Go on now,” Choke smiled and moved to open the door for Gabe.

Once Gabe had gone, Choke gestured to the stugroot pot:

“Would you care for some more, Babs? I can freshen it up from the kettle if you’d like.”

“No, that’s fine, thanks. I’m jittered up enough, I reckon. What’s on yar mind?”

Choke took his seat and glanced over to Peep to signal her to take over.

“Bob. Bob’s on our mind,” Peep said.

“Uh-huh. Figured he probably would be. He’d be on my mind if I were you, that’s for sure. So, how can I help ye with that, then?” Babs asked as she leaned back in her chair and laced her fingers across her belly.

read part 143