Table of Contents – (spoilers)
Lieutenant Bartholomew Pekot marched his men into the Spitzer fort and ordered them to put the digging tools away in the large shed next to the stables.
Once this was done, the men stood around in the fort’s courtyard like a herd of goats. Choke turned Knuckle:
“Sergeant Theodas: get the men to attention as before! Two rows. Trooper Dom, Trooper Lenny: take your positions at the head of each.
Choke watched Knuckle shout his way up and down the men, getting them into the two lines. This time, they were marginally better at doing it properly. Choke stood watching them until Captain Edison came stomping out of the keep’s main doors.
“Lieutenant Pekot! To me!” he barked.
Choke marched over to stand at attention in front of his captain, saluting with, “Lieutenant Pekot, reporting, sir!”
Captain Edison returned the salute. “What is the meaning of this, Lieutenant? Why have you brought your men into the fort? I thought I made it clear that they are to be working on expanding the defenses and clearing the woods to the east.”
“Yes, sir. May we step inside to speak privately on the matter, sir?”
“No! You tell me what you’re up to right here! Now!” Captain Edison shouted. Choke could now clearly smell brandy on his breath. He was not quite drunk, but he was definitely on his way.
“Very good, sir! I understand your orders, sir. However, in taking command of the men, it was obvious to me that they are in no condition to be doing this labor. They need to rest in better conditions. Camped rough outside here in the courtyard, as they have been, in the cold and damp without proper tents or bedding, their condition has become poor. Further, I have noticed, sir, that with Captain Fairchild away on his mission, there are a number of vacant barracks in the fort. A good number, sir. I was going to come and request your permission to relocate the men into one of the free barracks. However, given the general lack of morale in the men, I thought it best not to leave them outside unsupervised. As well, given the men’s complete lack of training, I thought that having them go through some basic marching drills here in the fort would be to the good. You know, sir, to improve their work output when they get back to it. Sir.”
“How is marching going to help them dig a better ditch?” Captain Edison shouted in Choke’s face.
“Sir. Improved unit cohesion surely can only help in all matters. Sir.”
“And their condition is just something you are going to have to deal with, Lieutenant!”
“Yes, sir! That is precisely what I am attempting to do, sir. Is it not my duty as their officer to improve their condition if I can, sir?”
“By bringing these filthy bush rats into my barracks, you mean.”
“Yes, sir. And given how they have been treated since their conscription; I hardly think that their lack of cleanliness is their fault. With your permission, I will have the men clean themselves up immediately.”
Captain Edison stared at Choke. Choke stared back at him.
“You are an enormous pain in my ass, Lieutenant,” Captain Edison eventually said.
“Yes, sir. I am sorry for it, sir. Permission to have the men clean themselves and their gear before relocating into a free barracks, sir!”
Captain Edison stared at Choke some more.
“Sir. May I remind you that you told me that if I could turn these men into a unit of light horsemen, or at least capable skirmishers for you, you would be well pleased? Could you let me do that for you, sir? Please?”
“Alright, then, Lieutenant, that’s enough. Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t we? Fine, then. If your men clean themselves up properly, you can move them into the northwest corner of the second-floor barracks. There are no bunks there and they are going to have to take it. And make sure you bring in enough piss pots for them! They do not have leave to come and go as they please! I will not have them wandering around the fort claiming that they are trying to find a latrine. They get their dinner and sit tight for the night. Locked down. Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! And should I bunk with them on the second floor?”
“No! Of course not! You’re an officer, man! In the fort, you sleep in the fourth-floor officer’s quarters.”
“Thank you, sir! And Miss Otilla? Where should she bunk, sir?”
“Oh, Altas’ cock! That one now, too? She’s a woman! By all accounts, anyway. She cannot be bunking with men here in the fort! I won’t have it! And I don’t have a private room for her! Can’t she stay down in the church where she belongs with the other flaming wheel bashers?”
“Yes, sir. I think that would be fine, sir. I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir. Thank you for your consideration in this matter. I most appreciate it, sir,” Choke said, earnestly.
“Yes. Great! Are we done? Good! Tomorrow morning, they had better be fucking up that forest like I ordered!” Captain Edison shouted before turning his back on Choke and stomping back into the keep.
“Thank you, sir!” Choke said, saluting Captain Edison’s back.
Choke marched back to where his men were still standing at attention. With the exception of just a few, the men now were all standing to attention with noticeably more intention, if not pride.
“Alright, men!” Choke shouted at them. “I suppose you heard all that. Sergeant Nikolas shall be taking groups of five of you to clean yourselves up. There seems to be a spot for that between the stables and latrine. Cold water and scrub brushes, I’m afraid. You wash your clothes and boots, too. Those will have to go back on wet. It’s a warm afternoon. They’ll dry out soon enough,” Choke finished as an audible groan rose from the men.
“None of that!” Choke shouted, seemingly angry now. “We take pride in ourselves and our appearance! We take care of ourselves and our gear! We take care of our quarters and our camps! We do not shit and piss wherever we want, like a bunch of animals! You will all clean yourselves up now! Any of you that does not pass my inspection afterwards will regret it! Cold water, soap, and brushes! That is your mission of this hour! Do it properly, or suffer the consequences!”
Choke glared at the men for a spell.
“Sergeant Nikolas!” Choke shouted at Pinch.
“Yes, sir!”
“Take the first five here,” Choke gestured to the five men at the end of the front line.
“Yes, sir! You heard the Lieutenant! Move! Move!” Pinch shouted at the men as he herded them around the side of the keep towards the latrines.
“Sergeant Theodas!” Choke shouted at Knuckle.
“Yes, sir!”
“Put these men through their paces. Left face, right face, march, halt, and the like. Nothing too strenuous. Just the basics, for now.”
“Yes, sir!” Knuckle shouted. “Men! Left face! That means turn to your left, you ignorant savages! Left! No! The other left ye fuckin morons! How in the fuck do this many of ye not know yar left from yar right! Left!”
Choke left Knuckle to it and went into the stables to get his saddlebags. Then he went into the keep to the second floor to check on the space. It was a big empty room, but it would be dry and warm; a big improvement from sleeping rough outside, he was sure. Choke then went up to the fourth-floor, where there were partitioned rooms with bunks and small writing desks. He found an unoccupied room and left his saddlebags, longbow, and quiver there.
With himself settled, Choke went back downstairs and sought out the fort’s kitchen. It was next to the loading bay. There were three troopers hard at cooking up the fort’s dinner: two small and thin, and one big and fat. Choke stomped his boot down hard to get their attention as he stopped just inside the door.
All three men straightened up and saluted Choke, who returned the gesture.
“Who is in charge here?” Choke asked.
“That would be me, sir. I’m the fort’s cook. This is my kitchen,” the big fat one said.
“Good for you. Name and rank, soldier.”
“Corporal Tylor, sir.”
“Thank you, Corporal. I am Lieutenant Pekot. Now, Corporal, I was wondering if you could help me with a small matter.”
“If I can, sir. But, d’ye need all three of us? Can I put the lads back to work? Lots to do, and all, sir.”
“Yes. Thank you. Please, as you were, men,” Choke said to the two little guys, who saluted with wide-eyed worry before getting back to their work.
“Now, Corporal,” Choke said as he approached him. “If this is your kitchen, you are in charge of the rationing and serving of all the meals in the fort. Yes?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Just the man to talk to, then. So tell me: are we under some sort of half-rations order? Are we contending with food shortages?”
“Uhhh… no, sir.”
“Very good. So, with that being the case, I can only suppose that the rations that my men have been receiving are not correct,” Choke said, now getting quite close to the portly cook, leaning in with his right hand on the hilt of his dagger to glare up at him.
“Sir?”
“I have been informed that my men having been receiving inadequate rations. Watery soup and moldy bread was the turn of phrase used. Now, correct me if I am wrong, Corporal, but if the fort is not under orders of partial rations, then they should be receiving more, shouldn’t they? Indeed, they should be receiving exactly the same that all the other soldiers here do. Is that not so, Corporal?”
“Uhhh… yes, sir. But, actually, ye know, I’m not the one that serves the grunts, right? While they’re getting served, I’m in here making sure the officer’s fare is square and proper, right?”
“Is that so? But, Corporal, did you not just tell me that this is your kitchen? That you are in charge here?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So, whether you serve the meals yourself or not, you are responsible for them. Correct?”
“Well… yeah. I guess so, sir.”
“Exactly. So. Now. In the interest of getting along well with each other, I am going to assume that the meals my mean have been receiving are nothing more than a minor oversight on your part. I will not assume that you, on behalf of others, have been scrimping on their fare so as to skim food from the stores in some kind of, oh, I don’t know… some kind of organized theft.”
“Look, sir. I—” Corporal Tylor said, now looking scared.
“Settle down, Corporal,” Choke interrupted. “I have just told you that I am not assuming that. I am perfectly happy to assume this has been nothing more than an unfortunate oversight. It shall be as though nothing ever happened. Yes?”
“Uhhh… yes. Thank you, sir.”
“Of course, the oversights shall now stop. And I think, Corporal, that I would very much appreciate it if some of the lack my men have been suffering could be made up to them. On tonight’s meal. And all three meals tomorrow. In meat, if at all possible. You understand what I am saying, Corporal Tylor?”
“Ahhhh…” the cook said, looking as though he might argue with this. Choke leaned in closer to him menacingly and he quickly reconsidered. “Yes, sir. Extra rations tonight and tomorrow. In meat. Understood, sir.”
“Not quite understood, I think, Corporal. These are not extra rations. They are a return of what ought to have been served my men in the first place. Yes?”
“Understood, sir. Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now, I understand that my men have been served last during meals. This is quite correct, seeing as they are only recruits. So, in the interest of not ruffling any feathers, we can continue with this. My men may be served last. Just make sure they are served correctly, as we have agreed. I shall personally supervise them being served. Let’s not have any more oversights. Yes?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Very good, Corporal. Now, I assume that the officers eat together. Where is that?”
“In the keep’s main hall, sir.”
“Of course. And do they usually dine before or after the men are issued their rations.”
“After, sir.”
“Thank you, Corporal. I am quite looking forward to dinner. With my men being served last, I shall have to rush to join the other officers. That cannot be helped. You have my leave to start serving dinner without me. I will join as soon as I am able. You can let Captain Edison know, yes?”
“Umm. Yes, sir.”
“Very good, Corporal Tylor. I think we have reached an understanding of each other. I quite appreciate it. Thank you. As you were.”
“Uhhh. Yar welcome, sir,” Corporal Tylor saluted.
Choke returned the salute and turned smartly on his heel to leave the kitchen staff to manage the expanded menu.
***
Pekot’s Bushrats were almost all done bathing by the time Peep returned with a new packhorse loaded down with all their new gear. Choke was watching Knuckle put the men through their paces, getting a sense of how the individual men were taking to it.
When Peep reined up at the stables, Choke went over to have a word with her. When he got close, there was no mistaking the skunky aroma of Thad Swallowtail’s marijuana coming off of her. She smiled at him with puffy, bloodshot eyes.
“I hope you waited until after the shopping to smoke up,” Choke said quietly.
“Of course, dipshit! I know what I’m about,” Peep grinned.
“Good. You got everything?”
“No. I didn’t get yar tent, because fuck you, that’s why. Of course I did! So, now what?”
“Well, now we get through today. Tomorrow we chop down trees and dig reinforced ditches until Father Morrenthall lets Lieutenant Hamon go. Do you know when he’s cutting Cooper lose,” Choke asked of the lieutenant that had been lent to Father Morrenthall with some men as a temporary constabulary.
“Yeah. After dinner tonight. He’s throwing on a good feed for him and the friendly Sergeant Neil as a way of thanking them. We’re invited, too,” Peep said.
Choke nodded. “I can’t make it, of course. Duty calls here at the fort. I’ll explain all that later. But you should go. Give Father Morrenthall and Lieutenant Cooper my apologies.”
“Yeah. For sure, man!”
“Then, you should bunk at the church for the time being. Captain Edison got a bee in his helmet about having no appropriate place for you to sleep. However, I think what he’s really upset about is having you here at all, what with all you represent and what that might mean for him. He hasn’t been able to unburden himself of his sins with Father Morrenthall yet, you see. I think it is all pressing rather hard on him at the moment.”
“Ah. Got it,” Peep smiled, tapping the side of her nose.
“Do you know how did things went with Lieutenant Hamon and Sergeant-Major Orel? As far as you know, of course,” Choke asked quietly, after taking another look around to make sure no one might overhear.
Peep chuckled. “That went smooth, apparently. It was all over with by the time I got to the church, but Father M’s scout, that Michal cat, told me about it. Father M had Orel sit in the pews to wait his turn with a couple of them Holy Sword goons. Father M and the rest of the goons took Hamon into Father M’s wing and arrested him right away. Took him downstairs. Stuck him in a cell right next to Sheriff Diddles so’s they can swap notes and shit each other up a bit. Then Father M sent all the goons back out to get Orel. Michal said that when they came out without Hamon and told Orel it was his turn, he looked for a second like he was about to run for it. But he aint an idiot, clearly, and knew he was fucked either way, so he went along with the goons. They arrested him and took him down to those deep, wet cells that Father M was talking about.”
“So we don’t have any idea of when the Father is going to be through with them,” Choke said.
“Well, once the two were locked up, he sent all his goons out to get sorted with Lieutenant Cooper. Figure out what they’re meant to be up to policing the joint, and all. That’s when he invited us to dinner with Cooper and Sergeant Neil. I asked him what the plan was with the Sheriff and he said he’s gonna let them all stew overnight and then get after them hammer and tongs bright and early tomorrow.”
Choke shuddered at the mention of the hammer and tongs. Peep took note of this and grinned sadistically.
“I don’t think he meant hammer and tongs for real, though,” she said. “Father M seems to have a real thing for that stretching rack of his. He said he’s gonna be burning Sheriff Diddles no matter what. So his plan is to gag both Orel and Hamon and bolt them down into chairs and make them watch him rack all the information outta the Sheriff. Then he’s gonna put Hamon on the rack and threaten him with the same to flip him into Orel. Figures he’ll have Orel spilling his guts by the day after tomorrow at the latest. Then he’ll let Hamon and Orel go and gather the town to watch him light the Sheriff up like he did Billy,” Peep said happily.
“The Father got into all these details with you?” Choke asked incredulously.
“Oh yeah! Fuckin rights he did! He’s pretty excited about it. It’s all top secret, though, so don’t go spilling it.”
“You know me better than that. So I suppose he is going to turn over all his evidence against Orel and Hamon to the Baron and leave their discipline to him. Then haul in whoever else has been incriminated for the next round of questioning,” Choke said.
“Yeah, that seems like it’ll be the way of it. Anyways, do ye need anything from me before I go back down to the church?” Peep asked.
Choke thought for a second. “No. Not really. I’ll help you get this pack horse and our gear sorted out in the stables. Then you can head down. Tomorrow we’ll start clearing the woods down the east slope here, so I’d like you with us bright and early to help with that. Putting these men into bush with axes in hand might give them some ideas. Having you lurking around with Pinch should dissuade them from trying anything stupid.”
As he finished speaking, Choke snapped his fingers as he thought of something more.
“That’s right! I’m going to need a ledger book and a diary now. I’ll have to keep records. The men’s names, pay owed, disciplinary actions, and the like. I’m sure I could find them here in the fort, probably from Father Gerban, but I would rather not bother anyone here more than absolutely necessary. Can you ask Father Morrenthall if he could sell me them? Or, where they might be bought here in town? That’s a ledger book and a blank diary. Nothing too big, though. They have to fit in my saddlebags. Right?”
“Gotcha! A couple of books coming right up! Sure thing, LT!” Peep grinned as she gave Choke a cheeky salute.
***
With Peep back down to the church, Choke and Knuckle worked with the men’s marching drills until Pinch had gotten all of them to their washing up. Then Choke put them on inspection. Not even half of them passed his stringency.
Choke had those that failed inspection step out to line up in front of those that had passed. He did some spirited yelling at them himself. Then he allowed the clean men to fall out and have a seat with their gear, while Pinch and Knuckle took the dirty ones back for another round of more intense washing up.
By the time the shivering, sodden, miserable men returned, a bugler up on the wall above the main gate was sounding the dinner call. The men’s spokesman, Reece, was of course among those requiring the second washing. He glared daggers at Choke as he returned.
Rather than allow the returning washees to take a seat like their mates, Choke had all the men stand back at attention in their two lines.
“I hope, men, that I have given you a sense of what to expect from me. Now we are going to wait for our turn to get dinner. When I tell you, you will all go and get your things, with your mess kits at the ready. You will then form up into a column two men wide, just as you did to come into the fort. Then you shall march in an orderly fashion to get your dinner. This, we will be taking up to the second-floor barracks where you can eat and settle down for the night. Once you are there, you may not leave until the morning. Any men caught wandering around in the fort will be strictly disciplined!”
Choke took a moment to glare at the men before proceeding:
“Then, tomorrow morning, bright and early before breakfast, we will be having a pack and gear inspection in the barracks. I suggest that you make sure all your belongings are in order before then. Following that, you will take your mess kits down with you for breakfast. Then we shall collect our tools and go back outside to get back to work.”
There was a stifled groan from the men at this news.
“I don’t want to hear it!” Choke bellowed at them. “You will put out of your mind any notions that you are above such labor! Soldiers are laborers. Nothing is more soldierly than working a spade. It is this work that shall keep you and your fellows alive when the shit hits. And if you don’t dig our defenses, then who else shall? Do you trust them to do the work to keep you alive? This way, you can be sure it is done properly.”
Choke stared at the men for a little longer.
“That is all for now, men. You may stand at ease.”
There was still a little confusion as to just what this meant, since it was not something Knuckle and Choke had been drilling since their first lesson, but they soon managed it. Choke stood proudly at the front of his men and watched the other soldiers come into the fort from their drills. This time, Sergeant Euan could not avoid noticing Choke, and he begrudgingly saluted him as he passed. His soldiers following him did likewise.
Choke returned the salute. He waited until all the men had gone around the side of the fort to the latrines to wash up and go on to get in line for chow.
“All right, men. Go get your things and form up in column with your mess kits ready,” Choke ordered.
It took another few minutes for his men to do so. Once they had, Choke moved to the head of their column.
“We will now go and get into line for dinner. You will line up in this order, two by two. Troopers Dom and Lenny shall wait until all the recruits are served before taking their place to be served. Sergeants Nikolas and Theodas shall be served last. Then we will all march in orderly fashion to the second-floor barracks where you may eat at your leisure. Proceed!”
“Yes, sir!” barked Knuckle with a salute. “Men! You heard the Lieutenant! Follow me!”
The men trudged morosely around the side of the keep to the kitchen entrance where the two junior cooks were hard at serving up the evening’s fare. The line for that was less than orderly, with men jostling with each other to get served. Seeing this, several of Choke’s men groaned as Knuckle halted them in column behind the unruly soldiers.
When all others had been served, Knuckle barked:
“Alright, men! Step forward in column to receive your dinner. Remember, nice and orderly, now!”
As the men did so, Choke walked to the kitchen door, meeting both the cooks’ eyes with deadly intent. They both blanched and fell back into the kitchen to return with another cauldron and a big serving tray. As Choke’s men received their dinner, their mood immediately improved. Every man was ladled a good portion of basic gruel, with another ladle of hearty potato and beef broth overtop. This was topped off with a hunk of fresh bread.
“When ye’ve been served, form up in column again. Here with me!” Knuckle barked again.
When the men had all been served and were standing in column, Dom and Lenny got their dinner. Once they had, Knuckle and Pinch got theirs. Then Pekot’s Bushrats marched upstairs to tuck into their meal in their dry and clean barracks. There were more than a few smiles as they did.
Muse Vassal 