Table of Contents – (spoilers)
In Lucky’s tavern in the wilderness village of Bristlenook, the Pekot Bunch sat at their table and squared off against Sneed’s crew of killers at theirs. The tables in Lucky’s were sturdy and long, with benches for seating. When Sneed and his men had moved to take their seats, Peep and Knuckle moved slow and easy to sit on the same side of their table as Choke and Pinch. Knuckle and Choke sat at either end, with Pinch and Peep in the center with their bows laid flat on the table in front of them. Facing them in a row, Sneed’s men had their bows at hand as well.
Thad and his five followers sat as they were: off to the side and clear of any arrows that might start flying. With this in mind, a number of the villager patrons relocated to the bar.
Once Sneed and his men had been served their ales, and Choke and his had declined another round, the warriors all sat and stared at each other.
“Okay. Let’s all be cool, alright? Alright!” Thad said.
“It’s all about peace and love! Right Thad?” one of the non-dancing-vixen women with Thad said.
“That’s right, Sweet-Pea. Peace and love, man! That’s all we can do! It’s free for all! All we have to do is open our hearts to let it in, and then we can beam it out ourselves! Alright! Yeah!”
Sneed hawked and spat over his table onto the floor on the other side, straight towards Choke.
Choke smiled as Knuckle creaked leather in grabbing the head of his warhammer.
“Peace and love in the warm light of Altas. It’s a nice idea,” Choke said, stone-faced as he stared hard at Sneed. “What do you think about that?”
Sneed spat again, took a long sip of ale, and then burped.
“I like sunshine just fine,” he finally said. “As for peace and love, those are just words. Don’t reckon I know what they’re meant to mean.”
“No, I don’t suppose you do,” Choke said.
“Oh, ye do? Stron’s big on those is he? Peace and love?”
“No. He’s all about fire and war.”
Sneed grinned and nodded. “See? Yeah. Those I understand. I knew I was gonna like ye, Apparitor Bartholomew. From the first moment I watched ye ride into town, I said to myself, ‘now, there’s a man I’m gonna be able to share an understanding with.’”
“Yes, I think we understand each other very well,” Choke said.
“Yeah. Now, I didn’t get that wrong, though, did I? Ye are apparitor around here now, right Bartholomew?” Sneed asked.
Choke nodded. “Yes. You have that right.”
“Well, congratulations. That’s quite an achievement for someone of yar… background. Yar parents must be so proud.”
“As must yours be of you. So, Sneed, I don’t suppose you’d care to introduce your friends to us. I am Bartholomew, sirs. This is Theodas. And he is Nikolas. All three of us are graduates of the Brothers of the Holy Stone school in Pekot. She is Otilla of the Holy Fire. And who might you be?” Choke asked Sneed’s men.
When Choke had mentioned the school in Pekot, Sneed and his men all snickered. Sneed settled them down with a hand gesture as Choke finished speaking.
“Well now, Bartholomew, we aint the sort to have fancy danglies strung up about our names. We’re just scum. Like all of ye was before ye rose up. But this feller here is Ermin,” Sneed gestured to the man on his right with a shortbow in a shoulder rig. Then he pointed out the other two: “He’s Kerl, and he’s Corbin.”
“Well there we go, my dood!” Thad said with a bright smile. “I’m starting to feel the love already! Alright? Yeah!”
“That’s probably just another shroom kicking in, Thad,” Peep said. She then looked to Sneed: “So, what you guys been up to? Some hard travelling, yeah?”
“Nah,” Sneed said, scratching the stubble on his neck. “Just back from a bit of a hunting trip. Bob was good enough to give us the last couple days off.”
“Oh, Bob gave ye the time off, did he? Him being yar boss and all,” Peep said.
“That’s right.”
“So why’d he do that? All of a sudden he didn’t need his head of security around?”
“Yeah, well, with ye lot clearing out all them bandits like ye did so good, I guess he reckoned we could take a little break,” Sneed said.
“So ye went hunting,” Peep said.
“That’s right.”
“What for?”
“Deer,” Sneed answered with a cold smile.
“Any luck?”
“Not today. But yesterday we bagged a nice six-point buck.”
“A six pointer ye say. Nice. Where was that?”
“Just a spot that I know. Good spot. It’s a funny thing, ye know. Ye’ve been deer hunting plenty, right?” Sneed asked Peep.
Peep nodded.
“So ye’ll know what I’m talking about here. Ye ever notice how sometimes a deer will just give itself to ye? Like, yar in yar blind and it walks right into yar kill zone, but the angle aint quite right to take a clean kill shot. And then, just sometimes, mind, it’s like the deer senses yar there. And it pauses. And then it turns to give ye the perfect shot. It’s like it knows. It knows that yar there. That yar the predator, and that it’s yar prey. That its role is to feed ye. And it turns and gives itself to ye so that ye can take it clean. Have ye ever noticed that, Otilla?”
Peep nodded.
“Yeah. That’s a thing. And then, sometimes, there’ll be a nice buck with a herd. And ye got yar pick of them. But that buck’ll step out of the herd and offer itself to ye clean like that. So’s ye take him, and not any of the does and youngsters. It dies so that they can live. Ye ever notice something like that out on a hunt?”
Peep nodded.
“Ye motherfucker,” Knuckle muttered real low.
Sneed chuckled and met Knuckle’s eye. “Predators and prey, big man. It’s as old as the hills. And so the seasons turn.”
“So, when d’ye reckon it’s yar turn, Sneed?” Peep asked.
He shrugged. “No way to tell, is there? Ye gotta live yar life until ye die. And that’s the thing with us predators. When our time comes, we’ve sure as fuck earned whatever we get.”
“Ye got that right,” Peep said.
“So, about that. We’ve been hearing some pretty wicked stories about ye lot. The fearsome Pekot Bunch. Ye guys are right fuckin baddasses, aren’t ye!” Sneed said.
“Yeah, and don’t ye fuckin forget it,” Knuckle said.
“Oh, I wouldn’t do that, big man. If yar gonna take a grizzly, ye don’t crawl into its den and poke it with a stick. But, I aint the sort to fuck with the law, no how. And that’s what ye guys are now, right? Yar the law in these parts. So, pretty much, we’re on the same side.”
“Ye reckon?” Peep asked.
“Yeah, I do. And I don’t fuck with the law. So we’ve got no quarrel, now do we? Plenty of deer around for everybody. But, with all the stories we’ve been hearing about ye. I have to say, it surprises me a bit that ye’d bring up that Pekot school of yars. Like coming from there is something to be proud of.”
At mention of the Pekot school, Sneed’s men all began to snicker again.
“The fuck d’ye mean by that?” Knuckle said, glaring murderously as he slid his warhammer a few centimeters from its belt loop.
“Well, let’s just say we’ve heard all about what goes on there. And, I dunno, where I’m from that’s just not something to be proud of,” Sneed said.
Knuckle looked very much like he was going to move over this. Sneed grinned as his hands dropped below the table to his own belt. His three men were all tensed, hands on bows and quivers, ready to respond to any attack that would give them pretext to engage.
In the split second before things went very bad, Thad once again opened his beautiful, cheery mouth:
“Ye know my dood, you don’t need to be playing the shame game about it. The anus is a wonderful erogenous zone! For everyone! I always tell my people, man, that getting comfortable with anal stimulation is a big part of sexual healing. For sure! Yeah!”
There was total silence in Lucky’s Tavern for a long moment after Thad made his pronouncement.
“What?” Knuckle said, his cresting anger at Sneed disrupted by Thad.
Sneed shook his head and broke away from his death stare at Knuckle. Then he laughed.
“Yeah… I’m with the big man, actually. What?” he laughed at Thad.
“Yeah, man! Anal stimulation is an important part of the sexual act, my man! I’m not ashamed to admit it, and no one else should be either. Alright? Yeah!”
“You tell them, Thad!” one of his women exclaimed.
With everyone now staring at Thad, he composed himself and sermonized:
“Anal stimulation is a big part of my pleasure time. It’s a blessing! Get nice and clean for your partner, for sure! Then explore! The energy transference between beings connecting their orifices is a subtle thing, my people. Our bodies are sensitive instruments, and we have to learn how to play them; both ours and those of our partners in physical love. We’ve been told that penis in vagina is the only righteous orifice connection. But is that the truth? Different orifice combinations yield different energy resonances. In your present incarnation, what is the right energy harmonic for your soul’s journey? Right? Far out! The tongue is such a tactile and sensitive thing itself, capable of giving and receiving such pleasure, right there in the middle of our mouth, which is a major energetic nexus of our spiritual being, by the way. Yeah, man! The mouth! We breathe in, we breathe out, we taste by drink and food, and we speak. Such a convergence of energies there! For sure, man! And there, right in the middle of it: the tongue! And then, on the other end of that long inside tube, is the anus. What better way to experience more of your partner than to lovingly explore their anus with your tongue, is what I’m saying, my dood. Alright!”
“Yeah! That’s right, Thad! Teach the word!” the woman said.
The vixens bounced up and down on their bench to either side of Thad, jiggling all over in their agreement.
“For sure! Alright? Yeah!” Thad exclaimed.
Sneed and his men all continued to stare at the spectacle of Thad and his followers, shocked into a slack inertia. Knuckle, Pinch, and Choke were likewise. It was Peep that was the first to manage a response:
“So eating ass is a religious experience, is what yar saying?”
“Yeah, man! For sure! It can be! Yeah! If we’re in the moment and connected with our partner in a mutually respectful and harmonic energy. For sure, dood! Yeah!”
“Brother Simon warned us about people like you,” Pinch said.
“No doubt, man! Far out!” Thad said happily with his Vixens stroking away all over him.
“So this is what ye do, huh?” Peep said. “Ye sit around explaining to your followers how eating yar ass is gonna be some kinda spiritual revelation for them.”
“Woah! My dood! It’s not like that, man! It’s not all about that! It’s about being open to all sexual healing and experience without falling into that name and shame game.”
“Oh, okay. But I suppose that if, say, in the heat of the moment, one of yar new followers was in a position to eat yar ass, you know, because they were in that general area doing something similar anyway, then having them already, ye know, open to the whole idea aint gonna hurt. Right?” Peep said.
“Yeah! Beauty!” Thad agreed.
“I’m sure it is,” Peep said.
“Yeah. That’s it!” Sneed said loudly, smacking both his palms down on his table. “I’m out! Ye bunch a fuckin ass freaks can do whatever it is ye do. I’m too tired for this shit today.”
Sneed stood up, as did his three men. They stepped out of the tavern’s open walls to their horses, moving slowly and keeping their eyes on the Pekot Bunch as they did. Sneed waited and left last. Before he stepped down off the tavern’s floor, he paused to put his hand down on the corner of the table and look each of the squad in the eye in turn.
“To be continued, I suppose. And since we’re on the same side, it’d be a shame if we confused each other as bandits out there. So, I reckon I’m gonna head back on the road to town. Take care out there. Still plenty of bandits kicking around, I’d reckon,” Sneed said.
“Yeah. See ye later,” Peep said.
Sneed tipped his hat her way and left the tavern to mount up. He and his crew rode off south out of the village.
“Woah! See? That dood is a serious bummer, man,” Thad said to everyone.
“Okay. That’s cute,” Peep said, pointing over to the corner of Sneed’s table.
There on the table, right where Sneed had set his hand before leaving, was another little stack of smooth, river-rounded pebbles. As with the last pile at Rodolf’s kill spot, there were five. These pebbles were smaller, though: small enough to all be palmed together. The stack was perfect and stable, with one pebble on top of the other, each having been carefully selected to fit with its fellows, and then laid down with a practiced hand.
“Woah. Yeah! That is cute!” Thad agreed. “Who knew a heavy cat like that could be so whimsical!”
“What does that word mean, Thad?” Peep asked him.
“It’s like being playful, man. But, you know, without any plan. Like, just spur of the moment.”
“Well, it is playful, alright. He is a playful boy. Like cats are,” Peep said, her voice distant as she stared at the little stack of pebbles.
“We should get moving too, yeah? Before they have too much time to set up on us,” Pinch said.
“Yeah. Good call,” Peep said. She stood up and nodded deeply to Thad. “Well, thank ye for sharing yar happy sack goodies, Thad. I do appreciate it. And look forward to getting on yar wavelength just as soon as we can relax around here. I just wish I had a wife I could let ye fuck as a way of saying thank you.”
“Oh, for sure! You’re welcome, Little Wolf!” Thad said, beaming at her like a ray of warm spring sunshine.
With this, the squad said their quick goodbyes and mounted up.
Muse Vassal 