Table of Contents – (spoilers)
Peep did not carry the body of Corporal Munge far. She dropped it in a tight alley between two houses about halfway between the soldiers’ compound and the back of the cemetery wall. Then she continued on her way to the church. She hopped the cemetery wall and gave a low “all-clear” bird whistle.
With Barrelmender still carrying on in the church, and nothing better to do, the lads had made a small campfire in the cemetery. Gabe was passed out just as he had been when Peep had left earlier. Knuckle was snoring loudly. Pinch and Choke were sitting up and staring at the campfire.
Peep went straight to the church yard and washed herself up in the trough next to the well. The wounds she had given Munge had bled surprisingly little. She had avoided hitting any veins or arteries near the skin, and the hard bleeding he had been doing internally had stopped along with his heart. Still, he had seeped on her. As Peep rinsed off her arms, neck, and the back of her head, she fretted about whatever blood trail she must have left behind. However, she decided that going back to cover whatever trace there was would be riskier than leaving it. As well, the way that Munge, and probably other soldiers, had been spitting black stugroot juice all over the yard, splashes of blood probably would not stand out. Of course, more obvious evidence had been left behind that had to be dealt with.
Peep took another drink of well-water and joined the squad at the campfire.
“We good?” Pinch asked quietly.
“Yeah. All good. Has the youngster noticed I been gone?”
“No. He hasn’t moved. He aint gonna be good for shit tomorrow,” Pinch answered.
“Well, sucks to be him, then,” Peep said as she leaned to give Knuckle a swat on his leg.
“Huh? Wha?” he said.
“Get up, Knuckle. I need ye for a minute,” Peep said.
“What’s going on?” Choke asked.
“Nothing for ye to worry about, boss. Just a bit of grunt work securing our witness for ye. I’ll fill ye in when we got a minute. Knuckle. Get up!” Peep hissed.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m up! What is it?” Knuckle barked as he finally sat up. Gabe, who was passed out right next to him, did not stir.
“I need yar help, big man. Come on.”
“Hold up! I’ll get my armor on,” Knuckle said, who was in just his tunic, with his chainmail and doublet draped over nearby gravestones.
“It’s up to you, man, but I’d rather ye didn’t,” Peep said. “We gotta keep this sneaky, and we shouldn’t run into anything. Just bring yar belt with yar hammer.”
While Knuckle buckled up his weaponbelt, Peep threw on her shortbow shoulder rig.
“What is going on?” Choke asked, sharply this time.
“No time to talk, man. Time’s a wasting. Let’s go. And quiet as ye can,” Peep said to Knuckle.
She led him through the cemetery and over the wall at the little alley she had been using. Then she took him through the village to Munge’s corpse, which was just as she had left it.
“Fuck. Who is this? Shit, is this that fuckin corporal?” Knuckle whispered.
“Yeah. I’ve talked him into giving us a hand with our legal case against Lieutenant Dixon. Now we gotta get him hidden away safe and sound,” Peep whispered back.
“Yeah? And so ye wake me up to drag a fuckin body through the night. Thanks a lot.”
“Well, I didn’t bring ye out here for yar deep thinking abilities. Just be happy I clipped him coming outta the shitter. Pick him up, man. Follow me. Stay close.”
Knuckle muttered to himself as he hoisted the body over his shoulder with about as much trouble as a normal man might have with a sack of grain. With Peep just a little ahead with her bow in hand, they made their way through the village to the hole under the palisade. Peep went through first and helped drag the body through by its feet. Knuckle had to do a bit of wriggling to get under the logs himself, but he managed. Then he and Peep sat on the creek bank and took a rest.
That night there were only a few clouds and just enough moon to give them a pretty view.
“Fuck, man,” Knuckle said quietly, just above the sound of the creek. “Choke is gonna shit a brick over this.”
“Yeah, well, what else is new? They clipped one of ours today, so something needed to be done about it. And Choke needs to mellow out, or else he’s gonna pop something in his head.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Knuckle laughed.
“You guys been together since forever, right? At that raven school of yars.”
“Yeah, no doubt. Since we were walking babies, I guess. Me and him and Pinch and Baron: we were always together, right from the start, back before what I can remember.”
“Baron? He’s the other horseman that ye jacked me and Oggy with by the crick, right?” Peep asked, her tone neutral.
“Yeah. Goes by Dungar, properly now. They sent him to become a real brother of the order.”
“Lord’s bastard, yeah?”
“Yeah. Kinda full of himself about it. But he’s alright. One of us, when ye get right down to it. Just got shot outta a better man’s dick to start off,” Knuckle laughed.
“Okay. So… about Choke. Ye think he’s okay?” Peep asked.
“Whad’ye mean?”
“Well, ye’ve known him the longest. Is he okay? He seems… I dunno… kinda moody and fucked up the last few days. He aint gonna lose his shit on us, is he? One fucked up black robe is enough to handle, I’d say.”
“Yeah, no shit!” Knuckle laughed. “Nah! Choke’s fine. He’s just a moody prick, is all. Always been that way. He takes everything way too seriously, what with the Holy Book shit and the right and wrong of everything. He’s always staring like he’s gonna up and kill somebody, but I think most of the time he’s trying not to cry.”
“And then sometimes he up and kills somebody,” Peep said.
“Yeah, he does that, too. But mostly he’s just too fuckin soft hearted. Trying to give a shit about peasants that were working to get us killed? What the fuck is with that? He’s gotta toughen up,” Knuckle said.
“Yeah. I reckon he will. And he’ll bark a bit about our corporal here, but he’ll settle down, once he has a minute with it. The play was there, so I took it. And I did make Munge that promise about Rodolf, so he got off light, I reckon. I will grant ye that I lucked out tonight. But sometimes ye gotta take a risk.”
“Yeah, no shit, Peep! Them soldiers coulda caught ye in the act real easy. That takes some balls, what ye did! How’d ye creep up on their shitter anyhow?” Knuckle asked.
“Never you mind how. I have my tricks. But it aint the soldiers I was worried about. Getting found out by them would just complicate things. It wouldn’t be a game ender. But, if Sneed and his squad had been set up on the prowl, they easily coulda taken me down today. Or the two of us just now. But I guess he’s off seeing to other things.”
“Oh, fuck, right. Sneed! Yeah. Shit. Wait… whad’ye mean he coulda taken the two of us just now?”
“Shit, Knuckle, anybody worth a shit with a good bow could pick us off here pretty easy from the bush behind the road there. More than enough light for that,” Peep said, amused.
“Shit! Well, what the fuck?” Knuckle startled.
“Well, I didn’t catch a sniff of him, or anybody else, so I was pretty sure it’d be clear. And it was. Remember, a cat like that aint gonna set himself up someplace if he aint pretty sure he’ll get some action. And what’re the odds, from his perspective, that we’d pop out this hole tonight? Or that I woulda earlier?”
“But what if he was set up out here?” Knuckle persisted.
Peep shrugged. “Then him and his boys woulda shot us to shit and we’d be dead. That’s the game here man. But we can’t just hide in the church with our thumbs up our asses. We gotta make some moves.”
“Yeah, okay. I hear ye. So, Sneed weren’t here today. Whad’ye think he’s up to?” Knuckle asked.
“Fucked if I know,” Peep shrugged. “Probably off making a report or getting orders since we fucked up their big bandit ambush. Somebody’s holding his leash, after all. And them types like to be in charge. Anyways, it all worked out. Yay for us. Boo for Dixon. Okay, let’s get Munge stashed, huh?”
Knuckle once again threw Munge over his shoulder and they crossed the creek. Keeping on the bush side of the track to the freight yard, they moved in as much cover as Knuckle could manage without making a terrible racket. When they had almost reached the Crotch, where the track forded the widened Bristle Creek just downstream, Peep took Knuckle into the thick bush of the goblin run she had found on the previous Monday.
It was not easy moving on their hands and knees, in the dark, through the thicket, with a corpse, and Knuckle being the size that he was, but they managed it. When they got through the thicker bush and into the open trails of the goblin run, it became easier. Finally, they reached the big tree with the bigger hole under its roots that branched off into goblin tunnels. Peep and Knuckle stuffed Corporal Munge down the hole. He just fit.
“There we are! Safe and sound!” Peep said happily. “Now, when anybody asks about this fucker’s whereabouts, what are ye gonna say, Knuckle?”
“Who? That fuckin guy? No idea. Fuck off!”
“Good man. And then, when we make our move on Dixon, we just tell him we got a reliable witness on all his dirty deeds, and he will know exactly who we’re talking about.”
“Sounds good. But what if someone tracks us and figure this out?” Knuckle asked.
“Yeah, they might. But even if they do, they still won’t be sure it was us. Munge and Dixon aint been getting along, and Munge here was just talking to his boys about fucking off to the Moondark Hills. So there’ll be different theories. We just gotta keep our mouths shut. Right?”
“Fuckin A, Peep. I like the way ye work.”
“Likewise, Knuckle.”
Peep and Knuckle shared a fist bump. Then Knuckle opened his mouth to speak and suddenly froze. He sat there, hesitating, for a moment before Peep said:
“What is it, man? Ye got something on yar mind?”
Knuckle floundered a little more before finally speaking:
“Yeah. I guess. I mean, it aint nothing, really. There’s just been something that’s been nagging on me. And it aint fuck all. But… It’s been bugging me a bit.”
“Yeah? Well, spit it out, fucker,” Peep said.
“Well, up at Pinewhispers there, that day we were all sparring. Choke smashed me pretty bad and I almost fuckin died, right?” Knuckle said.
“Yeah, no doubt. He knocked you down good.”
“Yeah. I don’t remember shit about it, but Pinch told me that the soldiers drug me to the priest who then healed me up. That’s what happened, right?”
“Yeah. It was,” Peep said.
“Yeah… so… and it aint like it’s any of my fuckin business, and I’m not complaining…” Knuckle said, actually shifting around like he was physically uncomfortable.
“Yeah, I get that. Spit it out, man.”
“Well, ye got all that Stron healing in yar hands, along with the fire. And I’m just wondering why ye didn’t use it on me. That’s all.”
“Well, that is a good question, Knuckle. I don’t know why I didn’t heal ye. In the moment, I guess I was just kinda shocked and forgot I had the healing. And, I guess I was a little pissed that ye’d come at me like ye did. And them soldiers hauled ye off to the priest right quick before I could really think about what was happening.”
“Yeah. I get that. But after that, when the Father was healing me up slow, ye coulda come round and sped that up, right?” Knuckle pressed.
“Sure. And it’s not like I didn’t think about it. But then I thought, ‘fuck him.’ Ye gave me a smack and Choke gave ye an even better one in return. So healing slow with a bit of pain seemed fair. Plus, we were having a good time there at Pinewhispers, and I figured if ye got healed up quick, they’d boot us out,” Peep laughed.
Knuckle laughed along with her. “Yeah, fuck you, Peep. Fuckin asshole. So, what yar saying is: that’s payback for getting heavy with ye.”
“Sure.”
“So Choke’s just yar goon now, huh? We do yar heavy lifting and fuck up anyone that tries to mess with ye.”
“Well… yeah. Yar just figuring this out now, Knucklehead?” Peep laughed.
In the dark of the thicket in the night there was no way to read each other’s expressions, but Knuckle’s body language was amused as he gave Peep a light shove and knocked her down. When she was back upright, he continued:
“So if getting smashed by Choke and not healed by ye was payback for getting heavy with ye, I guess we’re square then.”
Peep chuckled. “That’s been on yar mind, huh? Me threatening to come back on ye over it.”
“Fuck yeah! Yar an evil-minded cunt with knife skills! Why the fuck wouldn’t I be thinking on it?” Knuckle said earnestly.
“Yeah, well, worry no longer, ye big lug. We’re square on that, I reckon. And I guess I owe ye one for helping me deal with our pall tonight.”
“Fuckin rights,” Knuckle said, back to his normal self.
They crawled out of the bush the same way they had gone in. Once Peep had Knuckle out on the track, she went back and did her best to smooth out the drag marks and fix any displaced brush. She knew that anyone good at tracking would still surely spot their trail if they were looking, but it was the best she could do.
When Peep and Knuckle were opposite the hole under the palisade, Peep gave him a nudge.
“Okay, big man, ye think ye can get back to the church yard without waking the whole village up?”
“Uhhhh… Yeah, I dunno. If I’m being honest, maybe not. Why, ye got someone else yar gonna slip off and kill tonight?”
“No. But there’s one more thing I gotta clean up. Okay, sit tight here behind these bushes and I’ll be back.”
“How long ye gonna be?” Knuckle asked.
“Under an hour, I reckon. Okay, stay put.”
“Yeah, okay,” Knuckle said as he settled in to have a snooze.
Peep took her time working herself back up the hump to the north gate. Besides a couple of wrong turns on the trails, she had no trouble. She crept up to her spruce tree ladder, which was still in place. All was still quiet. Peep took her time lifting the tree off the palisade and dropping it as quietly as she could. Then she dragged it back into the bush. Once again, anyone with even a little bit of tracking skill would be able to easily work out what she had done. However, the spot would not be visible from the north trail. Someone would need to do a perimeter check on the palisade to spot it. Peep was fairly certain none of the soldiers would be bothering with that, but if Sneed was snooping around the next day, he would soon have it figured out. There was no helping that, though, so Peep went back to get Knuckle, well satisfied with her day’s work.
Peep and Knuckle crossed the creek and went back through the hole under the palisade. Once again, Peep did her best to smooth out the signs Knuckle had left wriggling through. Then she led him back to the church yard.
The campfire had burned low and Choke was on watch.
“What has happened?” Choke whispered intensely. “You’re both filthy!”
Choke was right. Both Peep and Knuckle were well coated with mud, dirt, and blood.
“Yeah, good call, man. We gotta clean up tonight before we hit the sack,” Peep said.
Knuckle groaned. “Oh, come on, man! After what I just did? I wanna sleep!”
“I hear ye,” Peep answered, giving Knuckle a friendly clap on the back. “But tomorrow’s meant to be a hangover day for us, right? So we should all sleep in. And I’ll wash yar tunic for ye tonight. Okay? Just get yarself presentable. Leave the tunic in the trough.”
Knuckle nodded and moved to get this done.
“Peep. I am just about to lose my temper. What is happening?” Choke said, still very quiet.
Pinch was now awake, so Peep hunkered down close to him and Choke and quickly told them everything, keeping her voice in a low whisper. While she was doing this, Knuckle came back, in just his breeches and got into his bedroll.
“I left my boots there, too. Ye could clean them up while yar at it, Peep,” he said.
“Yeah, okay man. Just don’t get used to it. Thanks for yar help tonight.”
“Sure. Whatever.”
Peep then finished telling Choke and Pinch about her evening. They both stayed silent for a long while after she did.
“Well?” Peep finally asked.
“Did you go out there fully intending to do this?” Choke asked.
“Not really. I mean, I had that latrine move thought about already, sure. And I wanted to sort Munge out, of course. But, mostly I just wanted to listen to what they were up to. Then Dixon and Wagner fucked off, and I realized I had the shot at Munge, so I took it. Ye know: that itchy-palm feeling we talked about. Right?”
Choke nodded. “I understand. It was risky, though.”
“I know it. But I just had a feeling like I had to do it. That it was gonna be alright,” Peep answered earnestly.
“Well, then, so it was,” Choke said. “Okay. This progresses our position. So long as they don’t find out Munge was murdered. What is our next move? If they find his body, what is our play?”
“We keep our fuckin mouths shut. He was a bad boy, he deserved what he got, and whoever did it deserves our gratitude. The fuckin end,” Peep said.
“Yes, I suppose that is all true,” Choke said. “And if they don’t discover his murder: what then?”
“Well, we play it subtle. He just disappeared, right? We let the soldier boys stew with that tomorrow. They’ll all have different ideas about what that means. Did he run off? Is he spilling his guts under the church? Did we kill him? Did Wagner kill him for Dixon? Did Sneed? They aint gonna be sure, and that’ll twist them up.”
“That seems likely,” Pinch said. “So, either way we’re playing it cool. But the next step is confronting Dixon. When do we do that?”
“There’s no huge rush on that, but we don’t wanna give Dixon too much time to figure this shit out. How’s about we sleep in tomorrow. Then, we need to get more fuckin arrows. Tomorrow afternoon, we should go check out Bristlenook and talk to the fletcher Gabe told us about. Stock up on what he’s got. So, how’s about the morning after tomorrow?” Peep asked.
Pinch shrugged and looked to Choke.
“Tomorrow is Friday. That means we confront Dixon on Saturday morning. So, just to be clear, the plan there is: we show Dixon the writ we have of Rodolf’s testimony; we lie and tell him we have a witness that has attested to his payroll scam; and then what?” Choke asked.
“Well, then, Choke, ye play the part of a square-headed, dipshit lawman who don’t got any flex or cunning. Shouldn’t be too hard for ye,” Peep chuckled.
“Yes. Thank you for that. So, how do I do that?” Choke asked.
“Ye demand that Dixon confess to everything right then and there. Ye tell him that if he doesn’t give us a writ to Barrelmender on everything he knows, about everyone doing dirt here, then yar gonna take our evidence and report him in Spitzer,” Peep said.
“And what if he does what we want?” Pinch asked.
“Well, then we got everything we need from him. And we know he’s a limp bitch who aint gonna be no real trouble on account of his being such a fuckin pussy. Right? But he aint gonna do that. He’s gonna shout and holler and say what an outrage this is and stomp off. Then he’s gonna go to Sneed and tell him that we’ll soon be heading to Spitzer to fink him out. And if we know there’s gonna be an ambush set up, we can go ahead and deal with that. We just gotta take it easy figuring out where the ambush is.”
“Understood,” Choke said. “Good plan. Or, good enough, anyway. Now, what if Lieutenant Dixon doesn’t join in the ambush?”
“Whether he does or not is probably gonna be up to Sneed, right? Either way, we carry on to Spitzer with Sneed’s head and whatever prisoners we can wrangle up, and we take everything to the church. Then you can figure out what to do from there, right? Either way, Dixon’s not a problem anymore, right?” Peep asked.
“With the evidence we have, having Sneed ambush us should be enough to have him called back to Spitzer to report, at the very least.”
“Right. And it aint like Dixon is somebody that needs to get got anyway. We just need him outta here so we can get some soldiers that are worth a shit. Right?” Peep asked.
“Yes. Agreed,” Choke said. Pinch nodded.
“Okay, then. I got some more fuckin cleaning up to do,” Peep said. “Ye two may as well hit the sack. I’ll wake ye up, Choke, when I figure it’s yar watch. And remember, we were meant to be getting shitfaced drunk tonight, so it’s a slow start tomorrow.”
“Huh. We finally catch a fuckin break like that, and it’s because it’s part of covering up one of yar murders. Fuckin typical,” Pinch laughed.
“Yeah, you know it. Didn’t they teach ye about that, Pinch? Ye gotta take it any way ye can get it,” Peep returned.
“Oh, I do, Peep. I do.”
***
The next morning was indeed a slow start for the squad. Of course, Choke was up early reading his Holy Book, but that would not look unusual for anyone that had observed them for any length of time.
Peep, Pinch, and Knuckle slept in, getting a much-needed rest. Gabe remained passed out. It was almost lunchtime before they were disturbed by Gabe’s mother, Babs, the brewer of their ale, who came for a visit.
“Oh! Hello!” Babs said to Choke as she came around the side of the church.
Choke was in his black robes, sitting on the ground with his back against the church next to the kitchen door. He had his Holy Book open in his lap.
“Good morning, Babs,” Choke said, closing the book as he got to his feet.
“Close to afternoon, aint it?” Babs chuckled as she looked over their little campsite in the graveyard. “I heard ye were getting into Bob’s jugs last night, so I expected ye’d be having a late start today.”
“Yes, they were. I’m not much of a drinker myself,” Choke said.
Babs moved through the gate in the cemetery wall and smiled down at her boy. Then she kicked him in the hip.
“Gabe! Get up! There’s things to do! Up, I said!” She kicked him a second time, this time hard enough to hurt.
“Ahhh… ohhhh…” Gabe moaned. Then he retched and almost threw up.
“Go get some water in ye, boy! Hurry up! Don’t make me hurt ye now!”
Making more mewling noises like a mortally wounded animal, Gabe staggered towards the well. As he reached it, he diverted his course and collapsed next to the outhouse, where he proceeded to puke his guts out.
Having gone to bed quite sober the night before, Peep, Pinch, and Knuckle roused themselves good-naturedly from what had been a very restful lie-in. Standing overtop of them, Babs took note of this.
“Uh-huh,” she said. Babs then picked up the ceramic potato wine jug and gave it a heft. “Uh-huh,” she said again. “So, the four of ye were tying one on last night, were ye? Getting a real good drunk on, I heard.”
Babs uncorked the jug, took a good swig, and then poured out most of the contents behind a nearby gravestone.
“That should be more like it,” Babs said as she set the jug down on the ground. “Don’t want Gabe getting confused about what went on last night, now do we?”
“No, that we don’t, Babs. Thank ye,” Peep said.
“So, why on Aern were ye camping out last night? In a cemetery, no less!” Babs exclaimed.
“Well, Babs, Brother Barrelmender is in the church. And he’s had one of those jugs all to himself,” Peep answered.
“Uh-huh. Enough said there, I reckon. Now, as to why I’m here: we have a bit of business to discuss. So’s ye may as well gear up and come on to our place for lunch. And I need Gabe back from ye for today. I got malting to do!”
“Well, right ye are, Babs! Give us a minute to get ourselves together and we’ll come right along,” Peep said cheerfully.
“Oh, take yar time. Me lad is gonna take well more than a minute to get himself together. Of that I am sure,” Babs laughed. Then her merry face clouded over like a thunderhead and she clapped her hands loudly as she moved straight for her boy, who was now face down in the dirt next to the outhouse.
“Gabe! Up, I said! Ye’d best be up and doing something by the time I reach ye, boy!”
There was no way the squad would go anywhere outside of Bristlehump without being fully kitted, so they rode to Babs’ place. She had walked up, so she rode Gabe’s horse and left him to follow along on foot (having refused the squad’s offer of their extra bandit horse). Even so, they rode at a slow walk.
Babs led the way turning left up to the north gate as they entered the village square. This took them right past the small army compound. There were now two soldiers on the gate, looking reasonably alert, with another pair standing at the base of the watchtower. One of them gave a whistle as the squad rode into sight.
Lieutenant Dixon emerged from the stone barracks with Sergeant Wagner to glare at the squad.
“Good day, Lieutenant,” Choke said, tapping the front of his helmet with the shaft of his lance in a gesture of respect.
Dixon just glared in return. Choke thought for a second before reining up.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you are manning the town gates now. That’s good,” Choke said.
(glare)
“With all the bandit activity the last few days, I’d say it’s a good idea to secure the town. You’ll probably want to be calling in your patrols from the bush, yes?”
“Excuse me?” Dixon snapped.
“When last we spoke on this, you said you have thirty men. You said the bulk of them were stationed out in the bush. So, with all the bandit activity so near to town the last few days, I had thought you would want to recall them so that you can patrol the immediate vicinity. Yes? Since it is clear that your wider patrols did nothing to dissuade the bandits from setting up right under your nose. A man was murdered only yesterday almost right outside the gate. Yes?”
“Yes. One was. So you presume to hold me responsible?” Dixon snapped.
“Not at all, sir. I just thought to suggest that you might want to beef things up closer to base, since your wider patrols have failed to dissuade the bandits from taking wild liberties so close to town. But I am quite sure you know your job and have things well in hand.”
“Yes. Thank you. Is that all?”
“No. Thank you for asking, Lieutenant. As the magistrate’s apparitor, I thought we should meet to discuss our coordination of the town’s defense. We really should make sure we are all pulling in the same direction. Yes? It would be unfortunate if there were any incidents stemming from confusion over who is with whom and what they ought to be up to. Yes? How does tomorrow morning work for you, Lieutenant?” Choke asked pleasantly.
“Okay. Fine.”
“Shall we come here, Lieutenant? Or should we seek you out at your usual location at Tully’s? Or, if you prefer, we could host you at the church.”
“Here, then,” Dixon snapped.
“Excellent! Until tomorrow morning, then. I look forward to having a productive meeting with you. Good day to you, sir.” Choke again tapped his helmet and wheeled Nike impressively to head out the gate.
Muse Vassal 