Superkids

I do understand that movies are mostly made for youngsters, since oldsters like me rarely go to a movie anymore, but really, enough with the superheros already! (Or should I say, Stuporheros.)

Don’t get me wrong: there was a time when I liked superheros too. And then I grew up into a big boy and my mommy stopped buying me their themed underwear. That’s when I got interesting in stories with human characters who were relatable on some level, dealing with human problems in human ways.

You know, stories for people with an emotional age over eight.

What does it say about a society that is so juvenile that it obsessively consumes stories about magical goons that can only be challenged by other magical goons, and maybe sometimes their own hubris (if we’re really digging deep). Whole franchises of “stories” embodying deus ex machina writ large.

I’m not telling anyone what to do here, but it is getting embarrassing, America. Just FYI. Your whole society looks to have become one of those sad types that are just waaaaaaay too into their childish obsessions.

Then we look to the very mature and serious leaders you have selected for yourselves of late and we just have to nod.

Yup.

Unplug

Within our society’s celebrity worshiping nonsense, there is a tendency to lament the torments poor sensitive stars must endure because of their fame. I don’t buy it.

First of all, in order to clarify some definitions, please realize that there are very few artist celebrities left. There used to be a time when someone could be both, but those days are long gone. When Bob Dylan and the last of the Beatles shuffle off this mortal coil, that will be the end of that. So don’t kid yourself: movie stars are not artists. Celebrity is now a pursuit in of itself, utterly bereft of any deeper meaning. To look at it another way: the commodification of culture has killed art within mass media. It’s not that art does not exist somewhere (in a deserted room that ought to be condemned, crying itself to sleep all alone), it’s just that it can’t exist within the modern business models of the entertainment industry.

In Western culture, celebrities are now basically the equivalent of prison guards. The prison is one constructed in our minds, where we fixate on the bread and circuses of celebrity culture. Meanwhile, our souls are extracted one horrifyingly earned and uselessly spent dollar at a time. Our pretty and vapid guards inject us with desire and turn wants into needs. Celebs and influencers get all the big brand items for free, just so they are seen using them. And these multimillionaires take them. This tells you everything you need to know about what is going on.

You wanna be like us, peasant? Well you’d better pony up and look the part. Get spending, you fuckin deadbeats. This economy isn’t going to fix itself.

Maybe you think you’ve freed your mind already. You may be getting all mad about celebrities rocking their swag, and think:“yeah, fuck them! They don’t need all that, and yet they get it for free!”

If you are thinking this way, you are still deep inside the prison. No one needs that shit. No one. The difference between a quality $200 handbag and a $2000 dollar designer handbag is entirely in your head. And the difference between the $200 one and a $20 one is basically negligible.

The only reason slavery doesn’t exist in a formalized sense in the West anymore is because the powerful, the industrialists, figured out a system that does not require it. They have crafted a multitude of ways to train us to do what they want.

“You, consumers! Yeah, you. Did you know that the state of the economy is your fault? Yeah, it is, you fuckin deadbeat. You aren’t confident enough. You aren’t spending enough. You need to consume more.

“Halloween is right around the corner! Sugar! Sugar and plastic shit made by slave kids in a faraway land. Shaped just the way we know you like it! Then Thanksgiving! Christmas! Valentine’s Day! Shop till you drop! Get that new car! Can’t afford it? Lease it! Get another credit card! A bank loan! Payday loan! You can’t afford to miss these deals!

“Just sign on the line and we’ll juice you till you fuckin die. That’s your purpose.”

Well, fuck your system and its bullshit status symbols. I have a new form of consumer satisfaction. I use cash, and I derive my satisfaction from seeing how long I can keep from spending it. I get my kicks from keeping my big bills intact. Because, fuck you! You can keep your fucking air points, I’m going off the grid. And I aint the only one. Stings, doesn’t it?

The failure of your bullshit economic system is not the fault of the people at its bottom.

Blaming millennials for killing bullshit industries, like golf or diamonds, is no different than blaming bad productivity on the Asian slave children making your crap.

So to all my fellow 99%:

Stop. Think. Do you really need to spend all the money that you do? What are your priorities? Are they yours, or are you just spasmodically doing what you have been trained to do through internet addiction and celebrity worshiping advertising, movies, and television.

Put your fucking phone down once in a while and have a think about what you are doing. Big picture thoughts. You don’t need to do this every day, just from time to time. Preferably when you are about to spend money you don’t really have on shit you don’t need.

Treat your money as if it is your life force, because most of us sure as fuck are trading our lives in to get it. One shitty hour at a time. So be stingy with what you have.

Stop paying the 1% to fuck you.

MBA

Bob’s not just an executive vice-president. He’s an industrial-strength PowerDouche, Executive Class, guaranteed to extract profit from wherever it is put! Thanks to Bob, his company’s shareholders have seen their dividends grow and grow!

(WARNING: PowerDouche models may cause widespread societal collapse.)

Cereal Seconds

You know when you have some cereal and leave the bowl and spoon in the sink without rinsing them off? Then, later on you decide to have a second bowl and you don’t want to go through more dishes, so you just rinse the bowl and spoon off quickly. But there’s that ring of hardened milk and cereal scum on the bottom of the spoon; maybe with a little crust of corn flake stuck in. And every time you stick it in your mouth it’s just gross, but you’re still too lazy to go and get a new spoon or clean the one you have. So you eat the cereal anyway, but it’s really not satisfying and you feel like you’ve become a total slob who’s lost control of their life.

Yeah. That pretty well sums up this relationship right about now.

An Appeal For Reason From the Unreasonable

“The divisiveness of our modern society is tearing us apart! Conservative versus liberal; anti-vaccine versus pro-vaccine; lovers of freedom, like me, versus the woke gestapo of the cancel culture. This polarization is ruining marriages and destroying families!”

Well, sir, I can agree with much of what you say. However, I do find your turn to this argument suspect since you, of late, have been one of the most tiresome buglers of noxious, Conservative propaganda that I know. Gun rights. Anti-vaccine. Freedom of speech as a blind for defense of Western (if not white) supremacy. You name it, you’ve spewed it. Often eloquently and from somewhat clever tangents, sure, but you have definitely not been a voice for peaceful coexistence.

When you proudly proclaim that you would kill and die to defend your very narrow notion of freedom, you cannot then claim to be a moderate voice engaged in reasonable discussion. The threat of violence is explicit in your rhetoric.

So what is this, then? This appeal for reason from a very unreasonable man. What are you up to? I suppose I should dig a little deeper into what you’ve been going on about lately. Because, after all, since you’ve been such a disagreeable asshole of late, I’ve been ignoring you completely.

Oh dear. It seems you have lost your job because of your refusal to get vaccinated. I see now. And you are very angry that the legions of people like you who believe in freedom above all else did not have the courage to stand up and stop this tyranny from taking place. But you will take a stand. You will not go quietly into that night. You are a brave man who will stand on principle no matter what.

No matter how alone and isolated it makes you.

See, here’s the thing, little buddy: You are not a member of some silent majority. You have gotten so insulated within the echo chamber you have created for yourself that you believe many more people think the way that you do than actually do. It turns out that, in reality, you are an insufferable dickhead spewing a fringe position that most people are sick and tired of hearing.

You have fallen into an understandable, but basic, trap of human consciousness. We want to believe that most other people think just the way that we do. In the face of our expression we take silence as agreement, or at least acquiescence. But this is not how people behave. When faced with a confrontation or a pontificating asshole, most people stay quiet and put up no resistance. Then they do what they can to put as much distance between themselves and the asshole as possible.

You seek a grand reckoning. A fiery showdown to demonstrate to the world what an incredible and brave individual you are. You seek this heroic stand of yours to be recognized with a slow clap from someone in the audience (digital of course) that grows into thunderous applause. These frightened people who think and feel exactly as you do but have been intimidated into silence, they will rally.

But the thing is: That’s not how it’s working out, is it? There is no stage for your hollow horn. No one wants to argue with you. No one is obliged to argue with you. No one is obliged to listen to you. And the fact that they aren’t speaks only to the hollowness of your platform. It’s boring. You are boring.

Ouch.

The isolation you are beginning to notice is not the result of censorship. It is not the result of tyranny. It is the result of the people around you putting you on mute.

So this appeal to reason, this call for everyone to work harder at getting along, this is just a mewling cry for attention.

“Come back and listen to me! I have important things I have to shout at you!”

This is the cry of a man who, for years, has taken the silence of those he preaches at as acceptance of what he says. Who believed that when he shouted down those that argued with him, he had won the argument. The last man shouting is the winner of the “debate,” right?

Not really, no.

And what of this grand stand you are making? Getting yourself fired because you wouldn’t take the vaccine. It is not quite the confrontation you were hoping for, is it? Instead of some blaze of glory moment, what you have delivered yourself is the slow grinding attrition of looming poverty and the indifference of society.

“The rats, it got your flower, bad blood it got your mare
If there’s anyone that knows, is there anyone that cares?”
– Bob Dylan, The Ballad of Hollis Brown

You should check out how that song ends, because you would seem to be on the same road as old Hollis. Be that as it may, if there’s anybody that gives a shit about your predicament, it is only to wonder why you are being such a jackass.

But what of the high principles and ideals you say inform this stand of yours? Freedom, right? The freedom you say you would die and kill to preserve. Okay, let’s unpack that.

As I have stated earlier in another post, you are free not to take the vaccine. No government agents have come to forcibly jab you with their needles of tyranny. What you are whinging about is freedom from all responsibility and accountability.

“None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license.”
– John Milton.

So are you a good man who loves true freedom? Or do you simply seek license to do as you want?

If your job requires you to have a driver’s license, and you lose your license, you will then lose your job. Is that not an impingement of your freedom? Your workplace can also require drug tests of you. Are you not similarly oppressed in this?

Or, is your company not exercising its freedom to demand a certain level of responsibility from its employees? They are not, after all, obliged to give you employment no matter what you do, are they? Why, that would be socialism, and we all know what you think about that!

So you will happily submit to being licensed to drive. To stopping at stop signs when you are driving. To not smoking in restaurants. To paying the government for a passport in order to travel abroad. To pissing in a cup at random intervals for your company. And to countless other impingements on this precious freedom of yours.

But what of the freedoms of your fellow citizens? The ones that are unlike you in their circumstances? Do we find evidence that you care about them? For in this we shall find out if you are truly a good man who loves freedom heartily, or whether you only seek license for yourself. Let’s see:

Anything in all your posts about marriage equality or LGBTQ rights? No.

Anything about people having the freedom to wear whatever clothing they want regardless of their religion? No.

Anything about women’s right to choose in regards to abortion and the regulation of their own fertility? No.

Okay, then, so what freedom are you specifically so butt-hurt about here?

Ah, your freedom to own guns. That’s what you care about. Your right to own your lethal toys. This is the line in the sand that you would kill and die for.

Oh, right. And your right not to get poked by that scary needle by that mean, scary doctor or nurse. Mustn’t forget that.

And for this you would threaten violence. You would get yourself killed, or thrown in prison as a cop killer, or simply fired, when you have children to provide for. You would put your own family into that kind of uncertainty.

This call of yours for civility and reason against the divisiveness of polarization that tears families apart. What are you talking about? There is no divisiveness of polarization without human agents of factions. If your family has been torn apart by this, then I have no doubt you were one of the agents doing it.

You are like a toddler, having a tantrum. Except you are not a toddler. You are a grown man, with guns. Your actions have consequences. Isn’t this a trope you’ve loved spewing to anyone that has to suffer listening to you? Responsibility! Accountability!

Well, here you are now: where the rubber hits the road in regards to your own responsibility and accountability. There are all kinds of ways you can handle it.

My suggesting is: Grow the fuck up.

Fantasy Hookers

Okay, what is the deal with massage parlor/rub and tug videos in the porn these days? This is both interesting and depressing to me. I’m all for the gonzo thing, since the pretense and pretension of harnessing porno with a plot always bothered me. But now we’ve got people fantasizing for sexy prostitution? Really? There’s a market for this?

Back in the day it was delivery men and other blue collar schmoes getting blown on the job. (“Oh, wow! I just love a man that knows how to work a tool.”) Dumb as hell, but I get what they’re going for. Then there was all the fake casting couch and random pickup stuff. Okay, it’s icky, but I get that too. Many guys like to see pretty women they can never hope to get themselves treating themselves like whores and being fucked over while being fucked.

However, fantasizing about real prostitution boggles the mind. This means we either have guys who want to go and pay for a happy ending and don’t have the balls to do it, or others who do so but find the whole experience too unsexy and depressing.

Of course, it also reveals just how pathetic some people are. These guys are so lame that they can’t even imagine themselves getting it on with a beautiful woman without paying her to do it. Well done, lads. Well done.

I suppose none of this should be a shocking revelation to anyone who’s visited a high volume retail outlet in the last decade. But still.

It’s fantasy, doods! You can have anything you want, and you’re beating off to thoughts of a massage parlor? You can have celebrity slave harems; your boss’ wife and daughter with your boss in a ball gag watching; Queen Elizabeth sucking Betty White’s pussy juice off your cock; and whatever else your demented and fevered mind can come up with. And you’re choosing to fantasize about paying a sex-trade worker to handle your junk?

Ah yes, but the fantasy is that she’s a knockout who doesn’t hate doing it. There’s the rub, so to speak.

The American Apocalypse and You

I can’t help but be amused when I see Americans describing the doomsday scenarios they see coming coming down the pike at them. Basically, so many of them just describe conditions that many people around the world are already living in.

“The stores will be empty, the power will go out, and there won’t be any internet.”

I do get how these aren’t good conditions. But they don’t spell the end of humanity.

The problem is that even given their land of plenty, Americans as a society are incapable of being civil and kind. So I can see how the prospect of returning to a more rudimentary existence must be completely horrifying.

If the internet goes out, Americans will probably revert to cannibalism within a week. In other countries, they pick up a book.

The cancer within American society has metastasized. Their violence, selfishness, and greed is about to run its inevitable course. As with cancer, the mutant diseased cells attack the healthy. Their zombie apocalypse is real and it is happening now; the zombies are running the show. Saying shit like, “guns don’t cause shootings,” or viciously ganging up and consuming others for minor deviations in their accepted modes of thought and expression. Spreading their sickness through their phones.

They are just about done. So it goes with empires. One wonders if the tin-shit Emperors of falling Rome rallied the massed plebs with promises of “making Rome great again.”

Probably.

But so it goes. So it went.

So, as it is with these things, when we hear the bad news of the diagnoses, we offer our sympathies. Even for the chain-smoking drunk that has been an egregious bully, we still say the requisite magic words of sympathy:

“We’re so sorry America. It must be so hard for you. If there’s anything we can do to help (short of actually going anywhere near you, of course) don’t hesitate to ask.”

That’s the most important thing here: sympathy and empathy. It is sad. My heart goes out to individual Americans.

As with dealing with a cancer patient, we must express our sympathy even as we prepare an emotional buffer to insulate ourselves against their demise.

But just a friendly reminder to everyone:

Do realize that the internal spasms of the American police state are no more relevant to you than those in China, Brazil, Ukraine, Russia, and the multitude of other shitty places where shitty government goons brutalize their citizens on behalf of the elite.

The United States’ problems only seem more important because we have been programed to value Americans too highly. In this world, it is all too natural to think that an American voice is more valuable. That an American life is more valuable.

So when Americans scream into their self-created void, it is hard not to take it more seriously than we should. Americans are so profoundly narcissistic that they believe the collapse of their society signals the end of human civilization. Why wouldn’t they? To the average American, human civilization ends at their own borders.

However, just because Americans believe this, does not mean the rest of us should.

I get on social media and I see things like Canadians having arguments with other Canadians about the American Second Amendment and mass shootings.

Get a fucking grip! We’re a different country, you slack jawed morons! Stop culturally imperializing yourself! They might make a decent superhero movie and their TV is pretty fantastic, but you can end it there if you want.

All just an unfortunate side effect of sharing a language, I suppose. And I do understand the benefits of that far outweigh the petty annoyances. Back to back worldwide Anglo Empires have done a fine job of spreading English as the international language. The white, English-speaking first stage colonials (Canada, Australia, and New Zealand) have had nothing but good from it.

But still. Just because we can understand the internal squabbles of Americans, doesn’t mean that they have to matter to us. They don’t give a fuck what we think of them anyway; we’re just some nebulous hypothetical place to move if things get too bad in their homeland.

As though we want them. Like access to our country is just another inalienable right of Americans. I mean, why stop flexing your entitled sense of privilege at your own borders, am I right? Come on in! Let’s see if you can fuck up this place any worse that you did your first home. It’s not like your very ideas and modes of thinking haven’t completely polluted our language and culture already. Make yourselves at home, eh!

And to the Americans: carry on.

However, if your superiority complex has been wounded here, I recommend getting back onto the Fox short-bus where they have all manner of gold stars for your hockey helmet. Bless your little heart! Yayyyyy! U-S-A! U-S-A! We’re number one because we can bomb murder almost anyone we want and nobody can do shit to stop us! Yayyyyy!

The biggest bully on the playground is indeed the greatest in his own mind.

Goaded by Youngster

I just had an exchange that got my dander up and have decided to deal with it here. Consider me goaded.

Someone I follow posted a screenshot of some teenage drama they are engaging in. In it, she and her friend were trashing someone they’re beefing with. The poster added a note to the picture in which she asked another user if she is, “being mean or just honest.”

I’m not so sure why I felt the need to respond to this, but I thought I would send some food for thought the poster’s way. So I sent her a private ask with the following message:

“Unsolicited question, I know, so I’m not replying to your post directly. That said: Why do you assume that being honest isn’t also being mean? They are not mutually exclusive. The greatest cruelties are always honest.”

Now, I don’t know anyone in the exchange and am not the slightest bit invested in their drama. I just saw her using this false dichotomy that so many do these days to justify shitty, reality-TV type behavior. It’s the kind of thinking that helps make the world a shittier place to live in; a noxious element in the “Mean Girls” atmosphere permeating Western civilization. It’s not just that we’re going to embrace being shitty: we’re going to tart our shittiness up in the guise of virtue.

(“God! I’m just being honest!”)

I really have no idea to what degree the poster was invested in the trope they were using, but I thought she might be smart enough to benefit from considering her assumptions a little. However, given the juvenile nature of the slut and looks shaming she was engaged in, I may have been expecting too much.

Be that as it may, she immediately replied (unpublished) with: “Was it not obvious that I was being facetious?”

Now, to answer the surface layer of her reply: No. No it wasn’t. Not even a little bit. The query very much was an earnest one (although not directed to me).

On a deeper level: Okay, I get it, my input is unwanted and irrelevant. In order to communicate this, she has engaged in a classic rhetorical strategy of youngsters and the simpleminded. The, “I wasn’t even being serious, and you are a total out-of-touch shithead for not picking up on that.”

Some would be tempted to go off on a tangent about millennials at this point, but I’m not going to fall into that trap. This tactic is not unique to millennials; it’s as old as dirt. The playground taunt of, “I could have beaten you if I really wanted, but I didn’t care enough to try.” If you can’t beat them, at least make sure you piss them off.

That’s fine. I was an uninvited participant to begin with, I’ll show myself out.

However, imagine my surprise then, when I returned to my newsfeed to see that she had written a text post in which she states: “it’s true, being mean and honest aren’t mutually exclusive. This is an interesting thing to reflect on because (blah, blah, blah)…”

All without any sign of my question to her anywhere on the post or her blog.

Oh no you didn’t. You did not just smack me down like my question was the most obtuse of irrelevancies, only to immediately answer the substance of it publicly on your blog like you came up with the notion to explore it by yourself. Posting your answer straight to your blog without any indication that this turn to a deeper thought was not derived from you.

You didn’t even have the class (as someone who lays claim to the mantle of “writer,” no less) to alter my turn of phrase. You just yoinked it for yourself. An expression, I might add, that was the most dynamic prose of your whole post.

Yeah, consider me goaded.

On Syntax, Spelling, and Punctuation

Okay, here’s the deal kids:

If you don’t make at least some effort to follow the conventional rules of English, I don’t bother reading anything you write. This is not because I am some kind of “grammar nazi,” or am being petty on some principle. It is because I value my time too highly.

If I have to figure out what you are trying to say before I can think about what you are saying, I’m not going to bother. I won’t because it is my experience that the thoughts expressed by those who don’t write properly are so rarely worth reading.

Again, this is not about having a stick up your ass for conforming to rules like some kind of slave to the establishment, man. It is about communication. When you are trying to communicate, anything that impedes quick understanding of your message is counterproductive. Do people with speech impediments often get hired as newscasters? So it goes with the basic rules of English composition.

Then there’s another side of this coin. Back when I was prone to troll baiting on other online forums, I would encounter the notion, again and again, that just because I make the effort to write properly, I must deeply care about what I’m writing. So, you see, writing correctly works. But to assume such would, in fact, be a mistake.

I am a very slow reader, no doubt with some kind of learning disability. Therefore, with a proper flow, I am able to compose and write at about half the speed I read at. Of course I’ll run through what I’ve written afterwards, do a quick proofread, to make sure everything is legible.

I’m not saying I’m special here, either. These are skill sets. Just take the fucking time to do things properly, and over time you won’t even notice it. If communicating with writing is something you want to do, why wouldn’t you make the effort to reach as many people as possible? To be taken as seriously as possible?