Well, alright then, Mr. Business Success Consultant with all your snappy answers for every possible scenario, tell me this:
What do you do when you’re giving an crucial presentation to the Board of Directors and your butt plug pops out and slides down the back of your pant leg, and you know from bitter experience that it’s going to fall out onto the floor right there in front of everyone? What then, huh?
If you have some kind of mental-hygiene, positive visualization, networking hack to solve this one, I’d love to hear it.
Brevity is the soul of wit? Fuck that.
I would like to apologize for the insensitive remark I made about raspberry bushes last night. It was offensive and in no way reflects reality. I understand that a species has every right to propagate itself without suffering sexualization and fetishization from the likes of me. Even when it flagrantly entices passerby to eat its many scrotums in an attempt to spread its seeds through their intestinal tracts. Filling my belly with its spunk is entirely my choice and in no way entitles me to characterize the plant negatively.
I am the slut here.